How do you assert yourself without being perceived as being violent?

[Sockeye66]

Originally Posted by nc17

Just get it out of the way and call me every evil dictator and every deadly disease in history. Throw in the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. That will surely discredit my claims.

The name of that asteroid was Chicxulub named for the Yukaton Peninsula town built there and the crater at impact.

nc17 would definitely be easier to articulate.

OP, were you anywhere in Mexico 66 million years ago and do you have anyone that will collaborate your whereabouts?

[angelo129]

Well, I’m going to respond to the OP differently from the rest of you. I don’t know him, but I’m going to assume he is an honest person looking for help. To offer a bit of background, I have seen a few instances where someone was in fact treated as though they had a “kick me” sign on their back for no particular reason. I know one person who is utterly harmless and has been treated this way frequently. Having seen it for myself, my hypothesis is that some people through no fault of their own become a scapegoat and seem to engender some kind of malevolent herd response in other people. We’ve all known kids who were picked on, and occasionally it continues into adult life.

nc17, I don’t know what options are available to you, so my suggestions may not help, but here they are nevertheless.
- Cultivate one friend at your place of employment. You need someone to confide in there, and you need someone in your corner who will listen. You seem very alone, and that makes all things worse. There are people who will care, but sometimes you have to get past the outer shell.

- If it’s possible, consider leaving the job you’re in and starting fresh somewhere else. Sometimes a situation just doesn’t resolve no matter what you do, and there’s no shame in deciding to turn over a new leaf and put your energy somewhere else.

- Strengthen and rely on the ties that you have outside work - family, if possible, old or new friends. Make your life less about work, if it’s possible.

- If you’re a loner, try letting just one person in. My husband and I are both loners by nature, which is why we value each other so much and understand each other so well. Your choice isn’t between letting everyone in or letting no one in.

- If you have or can make the option of opening some kind of small business of your own, perhaps internet based, you might find the interactions less stressful. You might not be a team player, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone doesn’t belong on a team.

- Keep a low profile at work, give things a chance to blow over. I know this is really hard, but sometimes it’s the best option if you’re unable to leave. When I was in a hostile work environment that I wasn’t able to immediately leave, I adopted a quiet, “lay low,” “whatever you say” attitude until I was able to leave on my own terms.

- Do something positive to affect your situation. If you’re religious, go to church, light a candle, ask for help. If you’re not, try writing some affirmations or joining a healing group like The Intention Experiment (you can find them on the web).

In closing, let me offer you a virtual *hug* and the hope that things will turn around for you.

[Mr. In-Between]

Originally Posted by nc17

In one incident in the military, an officer in the organization I worked for claimed I was sleeping my car, and ordered me to get a psych evaluation. I was agitated because I was trapped in an situation where I'm being harassed and nobody is taking my side. How well would anyone else hold up with a fake allegation like that? But that was enough for the doctor to write a memo that I was unstable. I wish there was recourse or legal action I can take. It was a complete lie that ended my career, a bunch of adults putting a Kick Me sign on my back.

Originally Posted by BirdieBelle

Were you sleeping in your car?

Originally Posted by nc17

That's what I mean when that whistleblower anticipated the tech company would try to discredit him. The public would automatically believe the respected company. This is why scum in Hollywood were able to escape the law for so long.

Originally Posted by BirdieBelle

I h ave no idea what you're talking about. Answer the question please.

Were you sleeping in your car? You didn't say.

Originally Posted by nc17

For all we know, everyone in this thread could be lying or being disingenuous. If you're interested in this thread, just treat my comments as theory instead of fact. That will help streamline any discussion on the topic.

Originally Posted by BirdieBelle

You could just answer the questions that are asked of you.

All we have to go on is what you tell us, and so far you haven't told us much. But your method of responding HERE makes you sound like a recalcitrant person.

Is this how you act at work too?

Originally Posted by nc17

Please read the post that you replied to.

Originally Posted by BirdieBelle

Are you saying you were not sleeping in your car?

Why would an officer lie about that? Did he lie about others?

How was it not disproven?

Originally Posted by nc17

Just get it out of the way and call me every evil dictator and every deadly disease in history. Throw in the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. That will surely discredit my claims.

Or maybe for the sake of argument, just comment in general terms, and don't worry about the veracity of specific details.

Disingenuous comments are amusing from the safety of the Internet, but it's frightening when people make those assumptions in real life interactions, and traumatizing when people act on those pretenses. A false allegation is one of the the worst sins a person can commit toward another.

Wow.

I mean, WOW!

OP, I'm gonna be blunt with you. You are the problem. There is something seriously atypical about the way you relate to people - the way in which you "hear" what other people are saying and the way you react and reply to them is the root of the problem. You took a perfectly normal conversation and question, and in the blink of an eye, turned it into a "Captain Queeg" moment. This was just amazing to see happen; watching this exchange unfold was actually painful for me.

Your social skills and communications skills are dysfunctional and self-destructive. That's why people are interacting with you the way they are. That's the only reason.

I wish you the best in getting this worked out.

[nc17]

Originally Posted by Harpaint

mouse exercise wheel

Sorry, is my discussion blocking your path? *scoots discussion out of the way*

Originally Posted by Mr. In-Between

Wow.

I mean, WOW!

OP, I'm gonna be blunt with you. You are the problem. There is something seriously atypical about the way you relate to people - the way in which you "hear" what other people are saying and the way you react and reply to them is the root of the problem. You took a perfectly normal conversation and question, and in the blink of an eye, turned it into a "Captain Queeg" moment. This was just amazing to see happen; watching this exchange unfold was actually painful for me.

Your social skills and communications skills are dysfunctional and self-destructive. That's why people are interacting with you the way they are. That's the only reason.

I wish you the best in getting this worked out.

ok, so I'm the problem So now what? Jump in the ocean? That doesn't seem fair.

Originally Posted by angelo129

Well, I’m going to respond to the OP differently from the rest of you. I don’t know him, but I’m going to assume he is an honest person looking for help. To offer a bit of background, I have seen a few instances where someone was in fact treated as though they had a “kick me” sign on their back for no particular reason. I know one person who is utterly harmless and has been treated this way frequently. Having seen it for myself, my hypothesis is that some people through no fault of their own become a scapegoat and seem to engender some kind of malevolent herd response in other people. We’ve all known kids who were picked on, and occasionally it continues into adult life.

nc17, I don’t know what options are available to you, so my suggestions may not help, but here they are nevertheless.
- Cultivate one friend at your place of employment. You need someone to confide in there, and you need someone in your corner who will listen. You seem very alone, and that makes all things worse. There are people who will care, but sometimes you have to get past the outer shell.

- If it’s possible, consider leaving the job you’re in and starting fresh somewhere else. Sometimes a situation just doesn’t resolve no matter what you do, and there’s no shame in deciding to turn over a new leaf and put your energy somewhere else.

- Strengthen and rely on the ties that you have outside work - family, if possible, old or new friends. Make your life less about work, if it’s possible.

- If you’re a loner, try letting just one person in. My husband and I are both loners by nature, which is why we value each other so much and understand each other so well. Your choice isn’t between letting everyone in or letting no one in.

- If you have or can make the option of opening some kind of small business of your own, perhaps internet based, you might find the interactions less stressful. You might not be a team player, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone doesn’t belong on a team.

- Keep a low profile at work, give things a chance to blow over. I know this is really hard, but sometimes it’s the best option if you’re unable to leave. When I was in a hostile work environment that I wasn’t able to immediately leave, I adopted a quiet, “lay low,” “whatever you say” attitude until I was able to leave on my own terms.

- Do something positive to affect your situation. If you’re religious, go to church, light a candle, ask for help. If you’re not, try writing some affirmations or joining a healing group like The Intention Experiment (you can find them on the web).

In closing, let me offer you a virtual *hug* and the hope that things will turn around for you.

After going back to the US, it hasn't been easy to connect with people. Most people I meet are really closed down, really angry about.... something.... or I run into the problem where I'm treated as a threatening person. I have my family members, but they mostly pretend this problem I have doesn't exist.
And when I see the headlines and Internet behavior, it messes with your view of how friendly or open people are these days.

I'm really not a loner. No matter how many times I stood at attention while blowhards in the military yelled "loner!" at me. A long time ago, I didn't have this problem at all. I was open and outgoing, seeing the world, making connections with tons of interesting people.
But I'm just flesh and bone, and there's so many threats and setbacks you can take before you start being more cautious.

Then again, the more baseless insults are thrown at me, the more I'm confident in who I really am. I'm a decent guy, but I'm also mortal. The warmest and most loving person in the world still has to be on guard in a warzone or bad neighborhood.

I've been doing Internet jobs and translating documents, and that earns me spare change, but the jobs aren't frequent enough to make a living off of it.

I will take a look at that website. Thank you for the kind words, and blessings to you.

Originally Posted by Sockeye66

The name of that asteroid was Chicxulub named for the Yukaton Peninsula town built there and the crater at impact.

nc17 would definitely be easier to articulate.

OP, were you anywhere in Mexico 66 million years ago and do you have anyone that will collaborate your whereabouts?

lol. It's tough to prove my case, it's my word against the dinos after all.