How do you assert yourself without being perceived as being violent? (person, abuse)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's easy to bully and provoke someone, then turn around and act like a victim when they put their foot down in defense.
A coworker spends weeks insulting you and/or discrediting your work, making you look like an employee that needs to be fired. You stand up to the coworker in defense-- either calmly, sternly with your chest out, or you really chew them out-- no matter what, the coworker pulls the violence card and acts intimidated, further harming your career.
I've been in a number of similar situations, at times my supervisor witnessed the abuse, then I was treated as a threatening person when I verbally confronted the bully. Then I'm branded as violent or unstable, while the one who instigated everything gets away clean.
Think of what allegedly happened to Terry Crews. Is he trapped in a no-win situation where his retaliation seriously harms his entertainment career and livelihood, or he's forced to stand there and do nothing?
Is there another way? Or is that just the way of the world now?
Why are you confronting instead of taking the documented issue up the chain in a calm, practical manner? Assuming this is a workplace, not a playground of course.
It's easy to bully and provoke someone, then turn around and act like a victim when they put their foot down in defense.
A coworker spends weeks insulting you and/or discrediting your work, making you look like an employee that needs to be fired. You stand up to the coworker in defense-- either calmly, sternly with your chest out, or you really chew them out-- no matter what, the coworker pulls the violence card and acts intimidated, further harming your career.
I've been in a number of similar situations, at times my supervisor witnessed the abuse, then I was treated as a threatening person when I verbally confronted the bully. Then I'm branded as violent or unstable, while the one who instigated everything gets away clean.
Think of what allegedly happened to Terry Crews. Is he trapped in a no-win situation where his retaliation seriously harms his entertainment career and livelihood, or he's forced to stand there and do nothing?
Is there another way? Or is that just the way of the world now?
Not knowing any of the details - there is a reason why everything falls back on you. You need to learn to communicate in a way that is acceptable and not violently.
Is this all with the same person or different ones?
It's easy to bully and provoke someone, then turn around and act like a victim when they put their foot down in defense.
A coworker spends weeks insulting you and/or discrediting your work, making you look like an employee that needs to be fired. You stand up to the coworker in defense-- either calmly, sternly with your chest out, or you really chew them out-- no matter what, the coworker pulls the violence card and acts intimidated, further harming your career.
I've been in a number of similar situations, at times my supervisor witnessed the abuse, then I was treated as a threatening person when I verbally confroned the bully. Then I'm branded as violent or unstable, while the one who instigated everything gets away clean.
Think of what allegedly happened to Terry Crews. Is he trapped in a no-win situation where his retaliation seriously harms his entertainment career and livelihood, or he's forced to stand there and do nothing?
Is there another way? Or is that just the way of the world now?
I've always been able to be assertive without coming across as violent or threatening so I really don't understand this issue. Please tell us what you said specifically and to whom.
Or how did you say it? Were you moving closer and closer to them? Were you standing close to them at all? Were you pointing or gesturing toward them? Were you standing over them?
It's easy to bully and provoke someone, then turn around and act like a victim when they put their foot down in defense.
A coworker spends weeks insulting you and/or discrediting your work, making you look like an employee that needs to be fired. You stand up to the coworker in defense-- either calmly, sternly with your chest out, or you really chew them out-- no matter what, the coworker pulls the violence card and acts intimidated, further harming your career.
I've been in a number of similar situations, at times my supervisor witnessed the abuse, then I was treated as a threatening person when I verbally confronted the bully. Then I'm branded as violent or unstable, while the one who instigated everything gets away clean.
Think of what allegedly happened to Terry Crews. Is he trapped in a no-win situation where his retaliation seriously harms his entertainment career and livelihood, or he's forced to stand there and do nothing?
Is there another way? Or is that just the way of the world now?
You verbally confronted a bully and then you're "branded as violent or unstable"????
There's a huge difference between being assertive and being perceived as violent or unstable. You need to take a close look at your reactions and figure out why others have this perception of you.
I've been in a number of similar situations, at times my supervisor witnessed the abuse, then I was treated as a threatening person when I verbally confronted the bully. Then I'm branded as violent or unstable, while the one who instigated everything gets away clean.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 15 days ago)
35,657 posts, read 18,015,765 times
Reputation: 50698
NC, since this has happened to you a "number of times" I think you're missing something here.
If the supervisor has witnessed the "abuse" you're getting and hasn't reacted, but does react to your reaction of sticking up for yourself, can I suggest you're not seeing this clearly?
It sounds like you may be aggressively snapping at co-workers who are just doing their jobs and are a little frustrated by your mistakes.
Since it's happened a number of times.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
