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Not sure of where to post on this forum but serious question here.
In every single place I have lived, many people have called attention to my looks. Apparently, I'm just not attractive enough to fit in with communities where all the at least minimally attractive people live, and that seems to be just about everywhere these days unless the on the streets, jails, hospitals, and extremely dangerous low-income areas where I don't fit in either. So my question is where in the U.S. do more "homely" (not obese, just plain-jane, loner, awkward and uncoordinated) people live a decent life without being constantly criticized and pushed to move somewhere else by neighbors because most would rather not be forced to see me in public?
This has happened to me in every city and town I have lived since childhood and now once again is starting to make me think about giving up altogether. I like where I am right now - more than anywhere else - yet it's just another place to live. Everyone around me seems to either not understand what I'm doing here, appear offended or suspicious of my presence, and those that do talk to me keep pushing the idea that I should move out to some desert or some cold and rainy part of the country where I don't want to go and unfamiliar with, or places I've been but stayed sick and did not fit in either. It's come to the point that I just can't figure out what about me makes other people so uncomfortable, especially since I'm not bothering anyone, keep mostly to myself and do my own thing.
You may be sending a vibe or you don’t set boundaries. Are people telling you these things or are you perceiving these things. Either case perhaps a few visits to a counselor might nail down what’s really going on.
What, if anything, have your friends said about it in the past? What about family members (parents, siblings, cousins); have any of them experienced something similar? What's the situation at your workplace; do you like your job, and do you get along with co-workers (or rather, do they get along with you)?
You may be sending a vibe or you don’t set boundaries. Are people telling you these things or are you perceiving these things. Either case perhaps a few visits to a counselor might nail down what’s really going on.
People have actually sat me down to have a conversation about my looks and why I don't seem to fit in wherever I am at the moment. I do think a lot of this comes from my growing up on military bases without siblings, other family, and because I have always been so unusual, have not made even one lasting close friendship. I have had friends, but never one I would consider best or closest, not would anyone consider me their closest friend. I am literally in this life alone. It just doesn't help at all when everyone seems to find something wrong with who I am, and I can't figure out what it is about me that makes so many people want me to just go away as if my existence is hurting them in some way.
What, if anything, have your friends said about it in the past? What about family members (parents, siblings, cousins); have any of them experienced something similar? What's the situation at your workplace; do you like your job, and do you get along with co-workers (or rather, do they get along with you)?
The friends (none close) and not-so-close family either refuse to discuss things any further than their opinion (my thoughts are always wrong) or stop taking to me altogether. I don't have much need to talk with coworkers since my job is as an independent operator. I talk business when at work and that's it. Everyone around me does the same. They don't care where I'm from, just so the business is taken care of.
People have actually sat me down to have a conversation about my looks and why I don't seem to fit in wherever I am at the moment. I do think a lot of this comes from my growing up on military bases without siblings, other family, and because I have always been so unusual, have not made even one lasting close friendship. I have had friends, but never one I would consider best or closest, not would anyone consider me their closest friend. I am literally in this life alone. It just doesn't help at all when everyone seems to find something wrong with who I am, and I can't figure out what it is about me that makes so many people want me to just go away as if my existence is hurting them in some way.
When they "sat you down" what did they say? Maybe what you perceive as people "finding something wrong" is their effort to offer you advice since you seem so unhappy. Maybe instead of just trying to criticize you, they are actually trying to help you overcome your own insecurities. It's hard for us to judge if you don't tell us what they say to you.
When they "sat you down" what did they say? Maybe what you perceive as people "finding something wrong" is their effort to offer you advice since you seem so unhappy. Maybe instead of just trying to criticize you, they are actually trying to help you overcome your own insecurities. It's hard for us to judge if you don't tell us what they say to you.
They say where I am now: "It's your looks. You don't look or act like other people here," "You're not a "---" person." "What's another good place for you... the desert towns... or Northwest... or the South..."
Or when I was in the Midwest and Southwest: "You look and talk funny. You need to go back where you came from."
This came from both children and adults.
Or when in The South: "Your skin tone is odd. You're not like us. Why are you here? Go back to wherever you came from?"
This comes from everyone - and I mean everyone.
Never yet lived in the East or Northern states but figure those people in those places would be the same. Plus, I am ailing in health and could not handle those climates.
I'm not unhappy with myself or my choice to live where I am now or anywhere I have lived in the past. It has always been the people around me who find something wrong with my being wherever I am at the time.
I can't imagine any place like how you describe. But I come from NYC where you have every kind of person possible. But I have lived in NH and MA since. I just can't picture what you're describing.
OP, it doesn't sound like you have very nice friends. What have you done to try and meet new people? What are your interests?
I can't imagine any place like how you describe. But I come from NYC where you have every kind of person possible. But I have lived in NH and MA since. I just can't picture what you're describing.
OP, it doesn't sound like you have very nice friends. What have you done to try and meet new people? What are your interests?
yea - i can't imagine people coming up to you and telling you to move away?
need more details. What are you trying to do? Start up a satanic cult or something like that?
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