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Naw, just not felt close to anyone since I was an elementary school kid. Would it be rude to just block her from my phone as my own way of moving on? I rather be honest with her and tell her I am moving on but after she said she's going through an emotional time I can't. BTW what are the signs you're seeing that show she's being polite and trying to distance herself from me? just curious, not trying to start something. I'm not good at seeing those signs.
Why would you block her? If she really is going through something right now and you are being clingy/needy, that is not at all helpful to her state of mind. The last thing someone needs when they are going through something is a friend who complains that they are not getting enough visits and calls. My guess is that she might not be as busy as it seems, but with your particular issues (no car, living so far away, wanting a commitment for a phone call at regular intervals), it is just too high maintenance for her.
Texting less, not making actual plans to spend time with you, and blaming it on something vague like "being busy."
Back off. No need to block her. What would warrant that? If you are truly a friend, as you claim, then why block her?
Work on your own compulsive tendencies so that you don't NEED to block her.
Thanks, seems pretty logical. She mostly keeps busy with her career and upgrading it and her man and talking to her mom. I ask if she can keep me updated on things in her life and says she will but doesn't anymore although last phone call she told me she's building a yurt with the guy and goes out with him and hangs out with her neighbor and friends she never sees. Says her calendar is so full it's not even funny. I just never knew a friendship could end so...easily? Thought it was strong but it's so weak and I can't do anything to fix this and feel so useless and I know deep down it's over.
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Why would you block her? If she really is going through something right now and you are being clingy/needy, that is not at all helpful to her state of mind. The last thing someone needs when they are going through something is a friend who complains that they are not getting enough visits and calls. My guess is that she might not be as busy as it seems, but with your particular issues (no car, living so far away, wanting a commitment for a phone call at regular intervals), it is just too high maintenance for her.
Oh she likes the calls, this was the first one she's ever said no to. She used to get excited about me calling as nobody else used to call her. I don't know her problem, all I could do is let her know I am here if she needs someone to talk to. I just said block because it would be easier knowing she wont ever reach out again, not that I expect her to. She has friends she has had since high school still they talk yearly, but that isn't me. I just can't do 1 time a year friendships. IMO you either wanna be around someone or you don't, it's simple.
OP Sometimes you need to put some friendships on a backburner and let it sit for a while.
Obviously she has gone through some changes and you sound hurt that you aren't part of the process of helping her deal with her issues. Life is like that and people change so just let her know that you are there for her whenever she wants.
...I really don't like her boyfriend for changing things between us.
The boyfriend didn't change things. It just changed. Friendships can be seasonal, they are not always forever. It is sad when it ends. I have been on both sides.
The boyfriend didn't change things. It just changed. Friendships can be seasonal, they are not always forever. It is sad when it ends. I have been on both sides.
I disagree. The boyfriend probably doesn't want her talking or hanging out with other guys. That's why she's been trying to push the OP away.
The boyfriend didn't change things. It just changed. Friendships can be seasonal, they are not always forever. It is sad when it ends. I have been on both sides.
That's true. From Dec to March I saw her all the time, we would talk on the phone all the time and I thought it was great that things were taking off, she even told me we are always going to be together getting through everything together and for the first time I am like "holy ****, this friendship is taking off and it feels awesome!!! first time since I was little I finally have a close friend and life does not seem like such a drag." Then splatt, out of nowhere things change just like that because this new guy she had just met, took me by surprise and I been feeling depressed feeling like I am back to square 1 and I am going to have to go out searching for that amazing friend again somehow. But hey, I can't be that upset if she's happy because like I told her, all I want is for her to be happy and free no matter what. I am not an open person and don't say these things without feeling like an idiot but it's pretty natural with her telling her this stuff and how proud I am of her, even her new career did not get between the friendship, once she found a man things changed, got worse when she moved away. Told her I am happy for her but it's going to suck when you move and I never see you again.
If I knew she was going through some stuff I would not have took things so personally. I understand she has other friends and wants to see them, I do and I am not trying to take all her time away for myself, I just miss seeing her. I don't have romantic feelings for her, I just really enjoy hanging around her (she knows, told her), she is a great woman and cares about everyone, is the most compassionate person I know and wanna see her thrive in the world. But things have changed and it's probably best I move on. I already told her if she ever needs someone to talk to she can call me anytime. But as mentioned already, i'll let her reach out to me if she wants to continue things. I am sure she will text eventually, she just has a lot of things happening right now career wise and boyfriend wise and those friends she rarely ever gets a chance to see.
That's true. From Dec to March I saw her all the time, we would talk on the phone all the time and I thought it was great that things were taking off, she even told me we are always going to be together getting through everything together and for the first time I am like "holy ****, this friendship is taking off and it feels awesome!!! first time since I was little I finally have a close friend and life does not seem like such a drag." Then splatt, out of nowhere things change just like that because this new guy she had just met, took me by surprise and I been feeling depressed feeling like I am back to square 1 and I am going to have to go out searching for that amazing friend again somehow. But hey, I can't be that upset if she's happy because like I told her, all I want is for her to be happy and free no matter what. I am not an open person and don't say these things without feeling like an idiot but it's pretty natural with her telling her this stuff and how proud I am of her, even her new career did not get between the friendship, once she found a man things changed, got worse when she moved away. Told her I am happy for her but it's going to suck when you move and I never see you again.
If I knew she was going through some stuff I would not have took things so personally. I understand she has other friends and wants to see them, I do and I am not trying to take all her time away for myself, I just miss seeing her. I don't have romantic feelings for her, I just really enjoy hanging around her (she knows, told her), she is a great woman and cares about everyone, is the most compassionate person I know and wanna see her thrive in the world. But things have changed and it's probably best I move on. I already told her if she ever needs someone to talk to she can call me anytime. But as mentioned already, i'll let her reach out to me if she wants to continue things. I am sure she will text eventually, she just has a lot of things happening right now career wise and boyfriend wise and those friends she rarely ever gets a chance to see.
What's different about you and the friend or friends she still sees? Are they female? I still say her BF doesn't want her talking to other guy friends.
What's different about you and the friend or friends she still sees? Are they female? I still say her BF doesn't want her talking to other guy friends.
This has already been explained. The OP has no car and lives an hour away on the highway. Presumably the other friends live closer and/or have cars and can meet somewhere in the middle or drive to the OP’s neighborhood. It is not uncommon to see friends who live closer more often. It is not uncommon to see friends with transportation more often. If someone has to do all the work to come see you every time, it’s not uncommon to have very little contact if the person isn’t just right down the road or 10-15 minutes away.
What's different about you and the friend or friends she still sees? Are they female? I still say her BF doesn't want her talking to other guy friends.
Most are female, she's more of a "female only" type of person and does everything revolving around them but thinks of me as "different" then most guys and more nice then most. She does not like males that much but her friends also drive. It's lame if he's the reason why things changed and forced her to end things between us, would not be the first time that's happened either. One time the boyfriend of a girl I once knew wanted to fight me for some reason. But I am sure it's also a distance thing, I really need my motorbike license. I've been wanting one since I was a little boy, go on those sweet sweet adventures anywhere at any time.
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