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Or like last Saturday, bunch of bros came over, we played a few hours of video games then one of them said something about putt-putt and we all thought it was a great idea and we just all hopped in my car and off we went, after that I suggested some bowling and we did that, then all went home.
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yep, you're right NOT all women.
I find it weird that you think women wouldn't spontaneously go hop in the car and go do something.
To start, I know not ALL women are like this, but nevertheless, I have noticed something and would appreciate input. I have noticed that, for the most part, when women get together they will usually just sit around talking but really don't get together to do activities. Now sure that's fine and all, but I find it curious why that is, as in for example, with me and my guy friends we get together to do all sorts of things; play video games, go bowling (part of a bowling league), putt-putt, camping etc. etc. And while we all have jobs and some are married with kids, we can still call each other up and say "hey, want to get together and do x, y and z?" and usually don't have a problem finding guys to do so.
Or like last Saturday, bunch of bros came over, we played a few hours of video games then one of them said something about putt-putt and we all thought it was a great idea and we just all hopped in my car and off we went, after that I suggested some bowling and we did that, then all went home.
Yet it really doesn't seem as if it's really the same with women. Now, again, if they just want to talk that's well and good, but you look at say when women have girl's night out, they may go to a nice restaurant or something but still, they're really not doing that much different than when they're hanging out at home. Perhaps it's just me, but doesn't seem as if it happens as often among women where kind of like my example where say women get together, talk and then one might say "Hey, let's all go bowling, or play putt-putt" and they all just get into a car together and go out for some different physical activities.
Again, not saying it's bad, just an observation I find interesting.
I'm a woman and I pretty much ONLY get together with people to DO things.
Same with a lot of the women I know. Playing sports mostly.
My brother plays golf with his friends or they go drinking/to restaurants. Bunch of guys. Like literally all they do. Same with my dad. Either golf or just eating with buddies.
Meanwhile, my mom plays canasta and bridge and goes to the gym with friends. She also has a prayer group and goes with friends to a local lecture series.
Sitting around chatting while watching tv or playing video games (like in your example) is not much different than just sitting around talking at home or a restaurant, btw.
A lot of it has to just do how we're wired. Most women just want to sit and chat, don't really go out and do things, I know I'll get some backlash for saying it, but stereotypes come about for a reason. Not bashing men, but any woman trying to say "Most women don't want to just sit and talk and talk" is like trying to say "Most violence isn't committed by men". Sorry, just how it is.
I was on a ladies' pool league, and I've gone out with one of my female work friends to shoot pool. I've invited some friends to meet up at this one coffee shop that has board games, and we played giant magnetic Scrabble on the wall. I've gotten together with another woman friend and we've sat with henna on our hair and watched movies together. Other things I've done with her...escape rooms, zip lining, hikes.
And I have experienced with my fiance that we get in long talks (that distract us from other things we planned to do) sometimes. And he's got a friend who calls him or wants to get together just so that dude can vent about his many problems to my fiance. I think some people just like to talk, some people prefer to get together over activities, and most are probably somewhat flexible and would do either thing, depending on what others might want to do.
One thing that I can say about myself as a woman, but I don't know that it would be fair to say it's a thing many/most women struggle with... I can be indecisive as all hell. I often get restless and want to do SOMETHING but can't think of what activity sounds interesting. Or I'm vaguely sort of hungry, but anything or nothing sounds appetizing and I cannot choose what to eat. So if someone else is willing to suggest an activity or food or whatever I am very grateful for that. Hell, I often will include others in my plans to go to a concert or something that I was originally thinking I'd just go to on my own, because I will waffle back and forth on whether I really want to go, or maybe I could just stay home...but if I know that so-and-so is expecting me to be there, I'll feel a nudge of obligation, and I'll go and I'll have a good time. I don't understand why a plan can sound really fun one second, and like a total hassle the next, but that's my brain. *shrug* Very often on a day off, even with dozens of possible things (both responsible things, and recreational things) I could do, I cannot choose a thing and just take a nap instead and do nothing much at all. Executive dysfunction sucks.
A lot of it has to just do how we're wired. Most women just want to sit and chat, don't really go out and do things, I know I'll get some backlash for saying it, but stereotypes come about for a reason. Not bashing men, but any woman trying to say "Most women don't want to just sit and talk and talk" is like trying to say "Most violence isn't committed by men". Sorry, just how it is.
It's fascinating how you can come to this conclusion about women? What are you basing it on?
Talking is how I connect with my friends and share our lives. In the limited time we have, I need meaningful connections that doing an activity doesn't offer me. We are more inclined to activities when husbands are along.
Good points.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan
I think some women do, do, do and go, go, go that when they get together with their girlfriends they just want to sit and have a nice dinner/drinks and some QT.
I agree. I think this is especially true (for many couples) when your are married with children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4
I wonder if the reason could be that men see just sitting around talking to be somehow not manly, and that they feel more comfortable sharing their feelings with each other if there is some kind of physical activity involved so that there's something external to focus on.
IMHO, that is a good point.
Of course, it is hard to generalize. Some of my female friends mostly get together with other women to golf or exercise or hike or bowl. Some of my female friends mostly get together to run errands and shop. Some of my female friends mostly get together over meals. Some of my female friends mostly get together doing activities with their children/grandchildren.
I have a close female friend where we do a variety of activities. Several times a year we volunteer at sporting events. Sometimes we go to events (community events, plays, fairs). Sometimes we do something active such as swim or hike. Sometimes we go shopping or run errands together and then have lunch. Sometimes we do things with our children/grandchildren. I think that is pretty typical.
One thing that I can say about myself as a woman, but I don't know that it would be fair to say it's a thing many/most women struggle with... I can be indecisive as all hell.
Yep, wouldn't be fair Not something I've witnessed with the groups of friends I've had over the years, and not something I struggle with.
I agree. I think this is especially true (for many couples) when your are married with children.
IMHO, that is a good point.
Of course, it is hard to generalize. Some of my female friends mostly get together with other women to golf or exercise or hike or bowl. Some of my female friends mostly get together to run errands and shop. Some of my female friends mostly get together over meals. Some of my female friends mostly get together doing activities with their children/grandchildren.
I have a close female friend where we do a variety of activities. Several times a year we volunteer at sporting events. Sometimes we go to events (community events, plays, fairs). Sometimes we do something active such as swim or hike. Sometimes we go shopping or run errands together and then have lunch. Sometimes we do things with our children/grandchildren. I think that is pretty typical.
really depends on the age of the women too, the economic circumstances, whether they have children, grandchildren, obligations to care for elderly parent/s. Seems you have a diverse group of friends with different needs. My social circle was pretty wide and varied, some are lunch buddies, some were thrifting buddies, some activity centered, some volunteer buddies, some scrabble pals, and some were drinking/shooting pool buddies at the local. I really find the one dimensional view of women's social life very strange?
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Not something I've witnessed with the groups of friends I've had over the years, and not something I struggle with.
