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I see the OP has had a very shallow observation, or he wanted to start a thread to bash women.
I'm a lady. I hate to gather together to chitchat and talk about this person that person. I stay away from somebody likes that. At my workplace, there are many gatherings (usually organized by women) for everyone to join (we don't separate genders to make our workplace a friendly environment) for exercising, yoga, walking, bowling, painting, crocheting, knitting, cooking, hiking, camping, picnic and movies… lots of activities.
On the other hand, I did see some men just wanted to go to restaurants or bars to eat, drink beer or alcohol and gossip too.
There are all kinds of men and women.
I don't get together with my friends to gossip. It's genuine conversation, not superficial and meaningless.
Meh. Yeah sometimes we just get together have drinks and food, but it's not like guys don't get together at bars.
We do stuff, not that I think anyone would take note (why?), we've gone paddle boarding, camping, paint ball, horseback riding... all kinds of stuff, gasp.. even shopping!
Never crossed my mind that someone would be noticing.
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I think the OP has the one dimensional view of women's social life because he's a man and he's not a participant of women's social life, he is excluded from it. Since he isn't there he doesn't actually know anything about what they are doing, what their interests are, what they are talking about and what kind of activities they get involved with. Some things they may keep to themselves as secrets and not ever, ever tell men about. He has no personal experience of it and is only surmising and jumping to conclusions based on the very brief glimpses he may get of groups of women socializing in public, or from things he hears other people telling him about women's social life. He's in no factual position to come to the conclusions that he has formed.
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Yep! If the OP is not a participant in women’s social life and had no personal experience then he can’t possibly draw any conclusions.
To start, I know not ALL women are like this, but nevertheless, I have noticed something and would appreciate input. I have noticed that, for the most part, when women get together they will usually just sit around talking but really don't get together to do activities. Now sure that's fine and all, but I find it curious why that is, as in for example, with me and my guy friends we get together to do all sorts of things; play video games, go bowling (part of a bowling league), putt-putt, camping etc. etc. And while we all have jobs and some are married with kids, we can still call each other up and say "hey, want to get together and do x, y and z?" and usually don't have a problem finding guys to do so.
Or like last Saturday, bunch of bros came over, we played a few hours of video games then one of them said something about putt-putt and we all thought it was a great idea and we just all hopped in my car and off we went, after that I suggested some bowling and we did that, then all went home.
Yet it really doesn't seem as if it's really the same with women. Now, again, if they just want to talk that's well and good, but you look at say when women have girl's night out, they may go to a nice restaurant or something but still, they're really not doing that much different than when they're hanging out at home. Perhaps it's just me, but doesn't seem as if it happens as often among women where kind of like my example where say women get together, talk and then one might say "Hey, let's all go bowling, or play putt-putt" and they all just get into a car together and go out for some different physical activities.
Again, not saying it's bad, just an observation I find interesting.
I think your observation is correct, for the most part. It's also been documented that men bond over engaging in activities. Golf, bowling, going to a game, shooting hoops, playing pool, corn hole, playing video games etc. This appears to start in later childhood and continue into adolescence, young adulthood and maturity.
Women take a different road to bonding and relationship formation. Starting in late childhood, sleepovers, one on one, and pajama parties were important in girlhood bonding. This was true when I grew up, and when my daughter was growing up. Sleep overs were not activity focused. They were conversation focused. Talk was the main activity, and the point of being together, not a by product. Young girls are conversation driven. The conversation appears to be two main types - self revelation about family and friends, including crushes, and gossip.
Girls and teenagers also like to eat and cook as an activity,not as a means to an end. Sleep overs or after school get togethers often involve baking or ordering food that can be delivered - pizza, chicken eyc.
Later in young adulthood, this morphs into girls night's out - meeting for dinner and drinks. Talk is the main reason for meeting and the way women get closer. Food and drink the "side dish" if you will. "Talk" is how women and girls bond.
With boys and men, the activity is the main event. Talk, conversation and self revelation is a by product of the activity.
Bottom line, men do not get together to talk. Talk usually occurs after getting together. With women, the bonding occurs in reverse.
I think it really all depends on the demographic of women you're dealing with, IF younger odds are they'll be more into pop-culture, gossip etc. and will do typical girly things such as going shopping, doing their nails/hair etc. I will agree with what you say i often don't see the younger women 18-25 really go out ie; hiking with friends, road-trips etc. or maybe perhaps i'm just not that alert on their whereabouts.
I think it really all depends on the demographic of women you're dealing with, IF younger odds are they'll be more into pop-culture, gossip etc. and will do typical girly things such as going shopping, doing their nails/hair etc. I will agree with what you say i often don't see the younger women 18-25 really go out ie; hiking with friends, road-trips etc. or maybe perhaps i'm just not that alert on their whereabouts.
Not all women are girly girls. I never had female friends who did typical girly things, because I’m not really a girly girl. We would meet for shopping occasionally when my friends had kids because it was easy, but when we were in our 20s, we usually had retro game nights and played old Nintendo games or board games. I think we didn’t do that many expensive things due to money, but that didn’t mean that we didn’t actually do *anything*. I can’t say I ever had any of those chat and gossip friendships. I am just not that type of person.
I think your observation is correct, for the most part. It's also been documented that men bond over engaging in activities. Golf, bowling, going to a game, shooting hoops, playing pool, corn hole, playing video games etc. This appears to start in later childhood and continue into adolescence, young adulthood and maturity.
Women take a different road to bonding and relationship formation. Starting in late childhood, sleepovers, one on one, and pajama parties were important in girlhood bonding. This was true when I grew up, and when my daughter was growing up. Sleep overs were not activity focused. They were conversation focused. Talk was the main activity, and the point of being together, not a by product. Young girls are conversation driven. The conversation appears to be two main types - self revelation about family and friends, including crushes, and gossip.
Girls and teenagers also like to eat and cook as an activity,not as a means to an end. Sleep overs or after school get togethers often involve baking or ordering food that can be delivered - pizza, chicken eyc.
Later in young adulthood, this morphs into girls night's out - meeting for dinner and drinks. Talk is the main reason for meeting and the way women get closer. Food and drink the "side dish" if you will. "Talk" is how women and girls bond.
With boys and men, the activity is the main event. Talk, conversation and self revelation is a by product of the activity.
Bottom line, men do not get together to talk. Talk usually occurs after getting together. With women, the bonding occurs in reverse.
Yep, nailed it.
The way women bond serves them throughout life, and in old age they tend to have stronger support systems then older men do. Same with trying times like illness and divorce, women can lean emotionally on their female friends while often men feel isolated.
Women tend to like to talk and relate to each other to feel connected. Men tend to prefer action, as opposed to sharing feelings.
There was a paper making the rounds a few years ago that found that women generally communicate to create interpersonal bonds, and men communicate to create interpersonal status.
But couldn't you do that while engaging in an activity? Like when my friends and I get together we can be playing video games or bowling and still we chat, catch up, discuss things etc. They don't need to be mutually exclusive.
No. Because we'd be distracted by the activity. We wouldn't be able to be as focussed. These aren't superficial chats; they're pretty deep and intense. Or thinking about some of the great conversations I have in Russia, where the "art of conversation" is still thankfully alive and kicking, as is the custom of "going visiting'--dropping in on friends for an afternoon or evening visit; I can't imagine discussing archaeology or ethnic politics over some activity, like bowling (if such existed), or whatever, lol. Really? Or discussing our respective projects and endeavors in detail. There's nothing like the kitchen-table discussion over tea, for a good, meaty exchange. Men do this, too, in Russia. It's a cultural thing. Bless them!
For lighter discussions, I guess you could fit the conversation in around other activities.
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I don't get together with my friends to gossip. It's genuine conversation, not superficial and meaningless.
