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To start, I know not ALL women are like this, but nevertheless, I have noticed something and would appreciate input. I have noticed that, for the most part, when women get together they will usually just sit around talking but really don't get together to do activities. Now sure that's fine and all, but I find it curious why that is, as in for example, with me and my guy friends we get together to do all sorts of things; play video games, go bowling (part of a bowling league), putt-putt, camping etc. etc. And while we all have jobs and some are married with kids, we can still call each other up and say "hey, want to get together and do x, y and z?" and usually don't have a problem finding guys to do so.
Or like last Saturday, bunch of bros came over, we played a few hours of video games then one of them said something about putt-putt and we all thought it was a great idea and we just all hopped in my car and off we went, after that I suggested some bowling and we did that, then all went home.
Yet it really doesn't seem as if it's really the same with women. Now, again, if they just want to talk that's well and good, but you look at say when women have girl's night out, they may go to a nice restaurant or something but still, they're really not doing that much different than when they're hanging out at home. Perhaps it's just me, but doesn't seem as if it happens as often among women where kind of like my example where say women get together, talk and then one might say "Hey, let's all go bowling, or play putt-putt" and they all just get into a car together and go out for some different physical activities.
Again, not saying it's bad, just an observation I find interesting.
Very true. I'm a rather unusual woman (heterosexual, attracted to men, but not at all "girly" or typical) and I hate just sitting around talking about nothing or "shopping" or "eating out" which are just excuses to sit around talking about nothing and wasting money besides. I'm active and athletic and prefer to be doing something. If I'm going to talk to people, I want it to be about something meaningful and not just chit-chat or, worse, gossip. I've always preferred male friends because they're less b*tchy and fake. I find Meetup groups to be a Godsend because they're (for the most part) about getting together with like-minded people to actually do something and are also usually co-ed; I can hang out and talk with men with no drama. Staying friends with attached men is difficult!
Oh yay, yet another woman bashing thread under the pretense of "why do they do this thing xyz". Funny how there aren't nearly as many "why do men do xyz" threads, in spite of all the "men under attack" accusations.
Men don't talk as much... baloney. The guys at my office spend tons of time standing around chatting, not doing anything else. Sports, food, non-work topics, re-hashing some work thing that happened 20 years ago, you name it. I've never actually witnessed this 2-men-in-a-room-not-talking thing I keep hearing about. Every time I'm out in public, if there are 2+ guys, I swear they turn up the volume and the intensity of the conversation when they notice someone else is around (I had to ask a server to switch tables once over this, I couldn't hear myself think).
Anyway, add me to the bandwagon of #notallwomen. I see and have been part of a mix. Sometimes there's an activity (bowling, scrapbooking, dancing, etc), but I'm also content to just sit around and shoot the breeze. It's a nice break from scurrying around all the time.
Oh yay, yet another woman bashing thread under the pretense of "why do they do this thing xyz". Funny how there aren't nearly as many "why do men do xyz" threads, in spite of all the "men under attack" accusations.
Men don't talk as much... baloney. The guys at my office spend tons of time standing around chatting, not doing anything else. Sports, food, non-work topics, re-hashing some work thing that happened 20 years ago, you name it. I've never actually witnessed this 2-men-in-a-room-not-talking thing I keep hearing about. Every time I'm out in public, if there are 2+ guys, I swear they turn up the volume and the intensity of the conversation when they notice someone else is around (I had to ask a server to switch tables once over this, I couldn't hear myself think).
Anyway, add me to the bandwagon of #notallwomen. I see and have been part of a mix. Sometimes there's an activity (bowling, scrapbooking, dancing, etc), but I'm also content to just sit around and shoot the breeze. It's a nice break from scurrying around all the time.
It's not bashing women, it's a question. The OP even stated he realized 'not all women' are like this. It's curiosity.
A woman-bashing thread complete with the arrival of the misogynist women. Guess what ladies, my friends and I aren’t talking about trivial things or other people - we are a community who care about each other. We talk about things that are important to us from family matters to work to politics (not my personal favorite topic), and we help each other when we need it.
I’m sorry you’ve known some bitchy women, but it’s absurd and hateful to assume that all groups of women friends do is sit around and gossip unproductively.
I don't think that I find the OP to be woman-bashing, but knowing how predictable threads can go on this site, it wasn't hard to see a likelihood of some taking it in that direction.
I've never been super girly, and did not really fit in with most girls in high school. Back then I used to speak like otterhere, because I'd actually been treated badly by other girls throughout school. I was an ugly duckling until puberty eased up a bit, and while I did become attractive, it was never in a makeup-and-scrunchies kind of way. I went all dark and goth and spooky. And frankly, back then, there were more male persons in the "social outcasts" friend groups I was in. Goths, stoners, skaters, metalheads, punks...it was mostly guys. I didn't learn to relate to other women until I was well into adulthood, and developed some social flexibility and general friendliness. And I had to move to the Midwest to really evolve in that direction. The me who grew up in northern Virginia would have complained about the vapid pointlessness of female gossip, small talk, and fake friendliness, too. But regional attitudes shaped mine, and while I do value a certain level of authenticity, I also appreciate good manners and a more positive way of interacting with the world more now. It seems fake to someone from a more negative place, but it's...not.
But I think that the mental image of the women all gathering to talk, and the guys off doing an activity together, reminds me a lot of family reunions when I was growing up. Southern people, many of them conservative and traditional...the women would be talking about all the latest news and gossip, though cooking and cleaning and so on was still going on, when it needed done... The men would go outside to throw horseshoes and drink beer, and wouldn't really care to discuss much other than certain "approved" manly subjects like sports and cars and hunting. As far as I knew. Yet in other social groups, that dynamic is not there. And when I've been close to a man, whether as a partner or a friend, if we talk one-on-one, they seem to want a lot of emotional labor and in-depth talks about how they feel and stuff.
So I guess I feel like there are social conventions that guide these interactions in some groups and settings, but I don't think it's just a matter of how we are wired, or any kind of inevitability.
I don't think that I find the OP to be woman-bashing, but knowing how predictable threads can go on this site, it wasn't hard to see a likelihood of some taking it in that direction.
I've never been super girly, and did not really fit in with most girls in high school. Back then I used to speak like otterhere, because I'd actually been treated badly by other girls throughout school. I was an ugly duckling until puberty eased up a bit, and while I did become attractive, it was never in a makeup-and-scrunchies kind of way. I went all dark and goth and spooky. And frankly, back then, there were more male persons in the "social outcasts" friend groups I was in. Goths, stoners, skaters, metalheads, punks...it was mostly guys. I didn't learn to relate to other women until I was well into adulthood, and developed some social flexibility and general friendliness. And I had to move to the Midwest to really evolve in that direction. The me who grew up in northern Virginia would have complained about the vapid pointlessness of female gossip, small talk, and fake friendliness, too. But regional attitudes shaped mine, and while I do value a certain level of authenticity, I also appreciate good manners and a more positive way of interacting with the world more now. It seems fake to someone from a more negative place, but it's...not.
But I think that the mental image of the women all gathering to talk, and the guys off doing an activity together, reminds me a lot of family reunions when I was growing up. Southern people, many of them conservative and traditional...the women would be talking about all the latest news and gossip, though cooking and cleaning and so on was still going on, when it needed done... The men would go outside to throw horseshoes and drink beer, and wouldn't really care to discuss much other than certain "approved" manly subjects like sports and cars and hunting. As far as I knew. Yet in other social groups, that dynamic is not there. And when I've been close to a man, whether as a partner or a friend, if we talk one-on-one, they seem to want a lot of emotional labor and in-depth talks about how they feel and stuff.
So I guess I feel like there are social conventions that guide these interactions in some groups and settings, but I don't think it's just a matter of how we are wired, or any kind of inevitability.
I wasn't treated badly, and I wasn't unattractive (more attractive than most, actually). I just find the typical girly activities and topics of conversation to be of little interest to me and always have. As for "supporting/helping each other," I'm probably also more independent and self-sufficient than most women, so maybe I don't feel that need to bond for this reason. Again, not to generalize...
Nah. He knew what he was starting. And he hasn't been back since he got called out on it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Do we women REALLY need to defend how we spend our down time?
Because that's what this thread has devolved to.
All of this. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" - all the caveat in the OP, right after the observation about women "just" talking. It slipped through in spite of the attempted cover.
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