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Oh, ok. I didn't know one could get into a really involved topic, while doing sports or games. Seems like the activity would be too distracting.
Bowling has an amazing amount of downtime... it's painful if you can't find something to distract you.
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To start, I know not ALL women are like this, but nevertheless, I have noticed something and would appreciate input. I have noticed that, for the most part, when women get together they will usually just sit around talking but really don't get together to do activities. Now sure that's fine and all, but I find it curious why that is, as in for example, with me and my guy friends we get together to do all sorts of things; play video games, go bowling (part of a bowling league), putt-putt, camping etc. etc. And while we all have jobs and some are married with kids, we can still call each other up and say "hey, want to get together and do x, y and z?" and usually don't have a problem finding guys to do so.
Or like last Saturday, bunch of bros came over, we played a few hours of video games then one of them said something about putt-putt and we all thought it was a great idea and we just all hopped in my car and off we went, after that I suggested some bowling and we did that, then all went home.
Yet it really doesn't seem as if it's really the same with women. Now, again, if they just want to talk that's well and good, but you look at say when women have girl's night out, they may go to a nice restaurant or something but still, they're really not doing that much different than when they're hanging out at home. Perhaps it's just me, but doesn't seem as if it happens as often among women where kind of like my example where say women get together, talk and then one might say "Hey, let's all go bowling, or play putt-putt" and they all just get into a car together and go out for some different physical activities.
Again, not saying it's bad, just an observation I find interesting.
When women get together to talk they really talk and don't want the distraction of other things. Most of the time we talk about completely different things than men would talk about, usually deeper conversations (not always) where men feel they have to put some sort of activity into getting together so it doesn't feel weird. That's my take on it.
Read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". It explains a lot about the differences in the sexes.
Interesting observation, and very true when it comes to me and my friends. We usually go out to dinner or drinks for our GNO. Rarely we do an activity, and when we do, it is so much more fun. I think the challenge with my group of friends is finding something that interests all of us.
Yupp... my wife and I joke about this. She says it's because women are generally more practical goal oriented. So when they meet, there's a purpose which is to catch-up, talk about stuff with purpose.
We're around 40, have young kids (i.e. around 5 years old). My good high school buds (about 8 of us), most have wives (6 of them) with kids of a similar age. When they've had a girl's getaway, it was to a spa, winery (close to Niagara on the Lake so is a popular spot). They might not necessarily go somewhere fancy, but quaint for dinner, and it's usually with wine. And then they all open about certain issues they're having where tears will often flow out and there's alot of empathy. Like a therapy talking session. Then she comes back with all this info, what ppl are going through, but with a thoughtful bend to it (not gossip).
Us guys haven't planned a getaway like that, though we talk about it often. Usually it's talking about a remote cabin so we can drink, play poker, get a firepit going. Or camping to do similar. Though did a guys getaway where we did stuff like Archery, driving range, swimming, etc. We come back not knowing much more about their family life, but with smiles due to all the joking and stuff like that. Sometimes conversations go into certain debates, philosophy that would cause eye-rolling. Or talk about tech, developments. Human nature. But may get of pulse of "yeaa, I think he's going through a stressful time" and that's about it.
I also have a couple of friends, where we'll just go to the local watering hole, and watch sports. A chill bud where there's no expectations to talk about something. We'll be relaxed, but get really into talking about what's going on the tv then it might diverge into a different conversation. Beer I find is best for lightening the mood.
"When women get together to talk they really talk and don't want the distraction of other things."
Actually, I've had many of my most intimate, complex, and rewarding conversations while hiking with others. There's something about being out in the fresh air that focuses your mind, having to look down at the trail while you're talking that frees you from inhibition, and getting those endorphins flowing while you think and share that leads to very satisfying exchanges. Also, I would rather burn calories for free while talking than sit in a restaurant to do it and in the process spend money and pack on more pounds.
This sounds childish to me. I hope the married guys with kids don’t spend their Saturdays like this. They should spend at least some time with their own kids.
Agreed. I'm divorced with kids--I cannot imagine myself and my friends or my ex-husband and his friends doing this. We both do things w/ our friends such as play tennis(him)/golf(me), go to sporting events, church, out to dinner. Or we do activities w/ other divorced parents and their kids (sports, movies, festivals). But playing video games or putt-putt with just adult friends-- Huh? Maybe this has to do w/ the age of the OP or the part of the country he lives in. It has nothing to do w/ gender.
We live in an area where lots of people mountain bike. It is not unusual to see all-women groups of mtn bikers or hikers or runners or paddleboarders or or or or ad infinitum. In fact, on some days my husband and I have noticed that we saw nothing BUT women, and these sometimes are difficult trails.
The stereotype of women only wanting to do sedentary and domestic things is BS. Plenty of men gather to sit on couches and stuff their faces while watching TV, regularly.
Playing putt-putt, no thanks! Too sedentary.
The real divide is not so much female vs male, but physically active or not. And even then, a stranger is only seeing a snapshot from another person’s life.
Yupp... my wife and I joke about this. She says it's because women are generally more practical goal oriented. So when they meet, there's a purpose which is to catch-up, talk about stuff with purpose.
We're around 40, have young kids (i.e. around 5 years old). My good high school buds (about 8 of us), most have wives (6 of them) with kids of a similar age. When they've had a girl's getaway, it was to a spa, winery (close to Niagara on the Lake so is a popular spot). They might not necessarily go somewhere fancy, but quaint for dinner, and it's usually with wine. And then they all open about certain issues they're having where tears will often flow out and there's alot of empathy. Like a therapy talking session. Then she comes back with all this info, what ppl are going through, but with a thoughtful bend to it (not gossip).
Us guys haven't planned a getaway like that, though we talk about it often. Usually it's talking about a remote cabin so we can drink, play poker, get a firepit going. Or camping to do similar. Though did a guys getaway where we did stuff like Archery, driving range, swimming, etc. We come back not knowing much more about their family life, but with smiles due to all the joking and stuff like that. Sometimes conversations go into certain debates, philosophy that would cause eye-rolling. Or talk about tech, developments. Human nature. But may get of pulse of "yeaa, I think he's going through a stressful time" and that's about it.
I also have a couple of friends, where we'll just go to the local watering hole, and watch sports. A chill bud where there's no expectations to talk about something. We'll be relaxed, but get really into talking about what's going on the tv then it might diverge into a different conversation. Beer I find is best for lightening the mood.
This post seems very realistic. I don't think men discuss their marriage or their personal problems or thoughts. Most men's talk seems to be sports or hobbies. Maybe an update on friends who are unable to attend. No offense, but men are not all that "deep," in general.
This post seems very realistic. I don't think men discuss their marriage or their personal problems or thoughts. Most men's talk seems to be sports or hobbies. Maybe an update on friends who are unable to attend. No offense, but men are not all that "deep," in general.
That's fine, but really looking at it, I think it's kind of funny how guys, say, get made of fun of for spending some hours playing video games, saying "Oh, they could be doing so much more productive things". Like, would me spending 3 hours playing video games really be any less "productive" than women that just sit around talking for 3 hours? Seems as if it could be argued just as much that they could be doing more "productive" things.
Maybe because women do do it everyday or instead of doing something productive.
I'm thinking married women and/or mothers. Who has time to play video games for 3 hours.
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