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Several posters seem to be overreacting. Note that the OP wrote:
"Kicking my roommate to the curb would be an extreme solution to what really is a minor problem."
It doesn't sound like the guy is dangerous, untrustworthy, or a horrible person. But he is being disrespectful to her by walking around in his underwear. I think she just needs to be a bit firmer in getting her point across.
Instead of complaining, why don't you either, a: get another roommate (preferably female), -OR- b: move.
Both solutions would solve your problem. See how easy that is?
Moving = easy? In what world? Not to mention usually requiring a fair amount of money upfront for deposits, etc. Just because some cretin has no respect for his roommate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler
After reading your and everyone else's replies, I think that I will take your advise and buy my roomie a cheap robe at Wally World and when I give it to him, I will firmly tell him that he needs to cover up.
While you're at it turn the thermostat down a few degrees to encourage him to wear the robe.
I have a male roommate (I'm a girl) and our relationship is completely platonic. He's ten years younger than me and I don't think he likes women very much, anyhow. He mostly stays in his room, but when he comes out to the living room or kitchen where I am and it's after 8:00 pm or so, he's always stripped down to his very minimalist undies, sometimes topped by a T shirt. If he's letting his dog out to do her thing, he just plunks down on the sofa or leans against the door for 10 minutes or so until the dog returns, showing himself off in all his unglory.
I have asked him if he wouldn't mind throwing on a robe before he ventures out of his room, but he just ignores my requests.
I don't consider myself to be a prude by a long shot, but I feel rather uncomfortable to have a semi nude man parading around in front of me whether I like it or not. And I would never dream of wandering around dressed equivalently (say only panties and a bra) in front of him.
Plus, it just feels rude and disrespectful that he would keep this up even though he knows it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do? Is it common practice these days for people to act like they're living in a military barracks with others of the same gender even if they are actually living in a private home with one person of the opposite gender?
Thoughts?
He wants to make you uncomfortable so you will move.
Especially when you're living with other people that you're not related to or sleeping with.
Yes and no.
It’s his house too, unless he’s only renting a room and doesn’t have access to any common areas OR it’s in black and white in the lease or house rules.
Should he put pants on? Yes, he should, but unless the OP made that point clear from day one, it’s going to hard to force him to do it.
Easy solution? Don’t renew the lease and find another roommate and be clear on all your expectations.
Buy a pair of lounging pajama bottoms and give it to him as an early Christmas present.
Explain that when he wanders around in his underwear your thoughts go to places they shouldn't.
If he's got a place to live out in the country, where the rent is affordable and he can keep his dog, he's got a good deal. Unless he wants to be on Craigslist again, if he's a reasonable person, he'll put on the lounging pajama bottoms.
You aren't wrong to feel uncomfortable, but since he is ignoring your request to cover up, there isn't much recourse beyond looking for a new roommate. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, but I'm the only female in my household, and used to a short parade between bedrooms and the laundry room.
lmao. if that aint the truth. I tell my kids "get dressed." they yell back "I am"
He's wrong to ignore your request. I would most definitely find another roommate. I am FAR from a prude, but I would not want my roommate running around in his underwear.
I'm assuming that both you and your roomie are fairly young -- age 40 or less. Those of us who came of age before (roughly) 1980, particularly if male, grew up at a time when less personal physical privacy was the norm. We were more likely to share shower facilities in gymnasiums and college dormitories, sometimes without even the aid of stalls and partitions. A guy walking from his room to the "head" in as little as his shorts didn't raise an eyebrow (and the practice probably persists in military barracks to the present day).
I share quarters with two housemates -- one male and one female, and both about twenty years my junior. (I'm seventy - b.1949) Recent changes in my physical mobility have made it necessary to avoid climbing the stairs, and the one sleeping room available on the ground floor is not fully enclosable, so we make do as best we can (I prefer to sleep in no more than I wear to swim -- in other words, without a top). Most of the time, we can time our sleep and dress patterns to avoid much conflict, but problems will arise occasionally, Just part of the process known as daily life.
Last edited by 2nd trick op; 11-16-2019 at 09:39 PM..
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