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you aren't wrong to feel uncomfortable, but since he is ignoring your request to cover up, there isn't much recourse beyond looking for a new roommate. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, but i'm the only female in my household, and used to a short parade between bedrooms and the laundry room.
If you two are roommates, it is as much his home as it is yours. He's rude, but he can wear what he wants to wear in the privacy of his own home.
If you are on the lease and he is not, give him proper written notice to vacate. Find a different roommate.
seven miles out of town is nothing in the Western states. No one would blink an eye at that. Unless your roommate is expected to provide care for you, no one is going to care if you are handicapped unless you can't take care of yourself or do your own dishes.
You are on a ranch. Is there room for a horse? If so, advertise for a new roommate who has a horse and you can get some female horse person who will be delighted to drive 7 miles on a gravel road to live where their horse is right there with them.
My experience with horse people is that they tend to be very responsible. Screen really carefully, just in case.
Well, first of all, he is renting a room; not the entire house. He has the largest room in this house and seems to prefer spending most of his time in it. Like in the past when I was fixing a meal for myself, I would sometimes make enough for two since I like to cook and it's easier to cook for two rather than one. Each time he would take his plate of food into his room and shut the door. He prefers to sit in his room watching a Patriots game or whatever over hanging out with me in the living room (which also has a TV) for even 15 minutes in order to share a meal that I had prepared for us both. About half the time, he wouldn't even say a polite "thank you" before vanishing
This behavior of his got pretty old, pretty quick and I went back to just fixing enough food for myself and he went back to heating up cans of spaghettios to eat in front of ESPN. His share of the housework is washing the dishes and taking out the trash. He won't mop the kitchen or vacuum the living room or anything like that. I think most folks would agree that his room is where he lives, not the entire house.
Plus, even if he was renting the entire house, he's not renting it by himself. If he wants to be able to parade around in anything he pleases in the privacy of his own home, he needs to come up with twice the rent he is now paying so that he can rent a home all by himself and wander around in skimpy costumes that would be appropriate for a gay pride parade if that's what he feels like. Instead, he chooses to save on living expenses by sharing a house and the rent with another person. He can't just throw common courtesy by the wayside. I certainly don't.
It's true that distance takes on an entire new meaning if you happen to live out West - especially in the rural West. Unfortunately, the seven miles between my place and town is one of those exceptions that prove the rule. The state highway that intersects with the only turnoff to my place was once named "State Highway 666." I don't have any hangups about that number, but I did think it was pretty funny and very fitting. Highway 666 is the only paved way to travel from one place to another for hundreds of miles. It badly needs to be made four lanes, but no one seems to care much for infrastructure these days, so 666 remains dangerously overcrowded - heavily used by every trucking company and lone semi driver you can imagine with everyone driving bumper to bumper at 80 mph. In addition, 666 goes through the heart of Indian country - the Navajo and Ute Nations are maybe 10 miles from where I live. Unfortunately, many Native Americans are afflicted by alcoholism, so there are plenty of drunk drivers to make things even more interesting than they already would be.
Just last Sunday a drunk driver had a headon with a semi right at the intersection with my little country road. The drunk's car went right under the semi and the drunk was killed instantly. I watched a helicopter land to take the body off to the morgue for the State Medical Examiner to do the autopsy. It took a good three hours for traffic to get going normally again. Incidents like this happen all the time. Small wonder that many folks would prefer to live in town rather than take their chances on 666 everyday (I'm using the old name 666 instead of the new official name in order to preserve a little privacy).
Finally, my disability can be a problem for people besides myself and life with me can take a little time for some to get used to. Things are never as simple as some want to think.
Oh, and horses. In my experience some horse people are terrific and others should be put in jail for the way they treat their animals. I knew one woman who was completely obsessed with horses. She was a good rider and a good trainer, but she couldn't resist buying more and more horses - it was like she was one of those hoarders you see on TV, only for horses not household junk. Finally, she ended up with so many horses that she didn't have the money to buy hay for them all and they ended up half starved. You really can't tell all that much about someone from just one trait.
I don't know why you seem to always follow me around the board since you don't seem to care for me much, but I hope my replies have been satisfactory for you.
I have a male roommate (I'm a girl) and our relationship is completely platonic. He's ten years younger than me and I don't think he likes women very much, anyhow. He mostly stays in his room, but when he comes out to the living room or kitchen where I am and it's after 8:00 pm or so, he's always stripped down to his very minimalist undies, sometimes topped by a T shirt. If he's letting his dog out to do her thing, he just plunks down on the sofa or leans against the door for 10 minutes or so until the dog returns, showing himself off in all his unglory.
I have asked him if he wouldn't mind throwing on a robe before he ventures out of his room, but he just ignores my requests.
I don't consider myself to be a prude by a long shot, but I feel rather uncomfortable to have a semi nude man parading around in front of me whether I like it or not. And I would never dream of wandering around dressed equivalently (say only panties and a bra) in front of him.
Plus, it just feels rude and disrespectful that he would keep this up even though he knows it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do? Is it common practice these days for people to act like they're living in a military barracks with others of the same gender even if they are actually living in a private home with one person of the opposite gender?
Thoughts?
If that is the only thing he does that bothers you I would just pretend it doesn't bother me anymore and just learn to live with it. Pretend you don't even notice.
I am assuming he is clean and quite and you said he spends most of his time in his room, sounds pretty good to me, things could be so much worse.
He seems pretty tame compared to some "roommate from hell" stories out there.
A) Just deal with it
B) Move out/get a new roommate
C) Purchase a water gun from the toy section at Wal-Mart or another store, and use progressively colder and colder water for each subsequent offense
Option A requires the least amount of action on your part, but keeps you in an unpleasant situation, while option C is very assertive but requires a lot of effort from you. Option B is a potential middle ground, with some risk of "retaliation".
When you chose a roommate of the opposite sex, what were you expecting exactly?
Then again, who is to say a female roommate wouldn't be even sloppier, dirtier or more disturbing in some other way...
The solution is unfortunately universally to simply get another roommate. Although we all know it's not simple as it sounds.
What does being the opposite sex have to do with with being disrespectful?
I would think most people would expect a certain level of courtesy and common sense from ANY roommate. I think it's a sad state of affairs when people have to spell out exactly what it takes to be a considerate roommate. Be polite and respectful, respect boundaries, clean up after yourself, keep up with your shared financial obligations, these are all just basic rules that shouldn't need to be explained.
It's not courteous to keep running around in skivvies when you've been told it makes your roommate uncomfortable, and for the record I very much doubt that particular practice is very common in shared housing situations. My son had various roommates for years, none of them ever made a practice of running around in their underwear in the common areas.
OP, if you need the rent money and don't want to go through the trouble of getting a new tenant, and your primary complaints are that he keeps to himself other than when he wanders around in his skivvies, then your only solution is to just deal with it.
Disrespectful or not, he knows he doesn't have to put on a robe, so he doesn't.
There's a reason a 50 year old man is still renting a room, and it likely has something to do with poor judgement and choices, this being one of them.
There's a reason a 50 year old man is still renting a room, and it likely has something to do with poor judgement and choices, this being one of them.
Agreed. If your target market is middle aged single men reduced to renting a room from a stranger in an undesirable part of town, you are going to attract people from a pool of homeless weirdos and losers. It could be a lot worse!
........... He prefers to sit in his room watching a Patriots game or whatever over hanging out with me in the living room (which also has a TV) for even 15 minutes in order to share a meal that I had prepared for us both. About half the time, he wouldn't even say a polite "thank you" before vanishing.......
I suspect that he wants to be left alone, so that brings up the possibility that he walks around in his skivvies, knowing that it bothers you, as his way of getting you to leave him alone. He appears to not have any of the social graces so perhaps is not aware that his solution isn't really acceptable.
A couple of years ago, I spent a lot of time where OP lives. Yes, it would be hard to find a roommate. OP, I'm afraid a lot of roommates do run around in their skivvies now, just how it is. Since he knows you hate it, he is being rude though. I don't have a good answer for you, afraid you are going to have to live with it, for now anyway.
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