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There's a reason a 50 year old man is still renting a room, and it likely has something to do with poor judgement and choices, this being one of them.
Yes, but more. This is someone who doesn't care about relationships with anyone else. Not saying thank you, not cleaning up after himself, not being civil, not honoring an understandable request to cover up...these are just symptoms of a bigger issue. A self-centered man-baby. If this has gone one a while, it may be a matter of too little too late in terms of ground rules. You either have to put up with it or tell him the lease won't be renewed and start advertising.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-17-2019 at 03:23 PM..
I hope you warn your guests how unsanitary your home is.
Maybe all his furniture is impermeable plastic like an elementary school classroom. A wipe down with Lysol and you're good to go. Might be chilly on those nether regions in winter and sticky in summer however.
I'm assuming that both you and your roomie are fairly young -- age 40 or less. Those of us who came of age before (roughly) 1980, particularly if male, grew up at a time when less personal physical privacy was the norm. We were more likely to share shower facilities in gymnasiums and college dormitories, sometimes without even the aid of stalls and partitions. A guy walking from his room to the "head" in as little as his shorts didn't raise an eyebrow (and the practice probably persists in military barracks to the present day).
I share quarters with two housemates -- one male and one female, and both about twenty years my junior. (I'm seventy - b.1949) Recent changes in my physical mobility have made it necessary to avoid climbing the stairs, and the one sleeping room available on the ground floor is not fully enclosable, so we make do as best we can (I prefer to sleep in no more than I wear to swim -- in other words, without a top). Most of the time, we can time our sleep and dress patterns to avoid much conflict, but problems will arise occasionally, Just part of the process known as daily life.
Oh, my! If only. I am 68 and he is almost 60. I was never in the military and when I went off to college at age 17, dorms were NOT co-ed the way they are now. Women dorm residents (not the men, however) were even required to sign in and out if they left the women's dormitory after 10:00 pm. If a woman decided to stay out all night and party or - gasp! - spend the night at her boyfriend's place - we were given demerits. My dorm even had that old "at least one foot on the floor" rule. How stupid was that? Ah, memories...
Anyhow, by time my roomie hit college 10 years or so later, the fifties type rules that I had been subjected to had already been thrown out the window for years. Maybe this explains his casual attitudes - I've never asked.
I suspect that he wants to be left alone, so that brings up the possibility that he walks around in his skivvies, knowing that it bothers you, as his way of getting you to leave him alone. He appears to not have any of the social graces so perhaps is not aware that his solution isn't really acceptable.
In this, I think that you have hit the nail on the head. Even a 6 year old has a higher social/emotional IQ than he does. He needs to figure out that I have no interest in forcing him to spend even a minute in my presence if he doesn't feel like it. The skivvies are overkill.
In this, I think that you have hit the nail on the head. Even a 6 year old has a higher social/emotional IQ than he does. He needs to figure out that I have no interest in forcing him to spend even a minute in my presence if he doesn't feel like it. The skivvies are overkill.
As long as you don't feel he is a danger to you, and he wants to be left alone and stays in his room, I'd say that he's a pretty good housemate, and one lacking in courtesy or empathy whatsoever. I think, again, if you don't feel he's a danger, that you should either endeavor to replace him if possible, or just ignore the underwear parade. Buying him a cover-up would just give him another chance to ignore your wishes. Surely he can be ignored on those occasions.
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