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I have a male roommate (I'm a girl) and our relationship is completely platonic. He's ten years younger than me and I don't think he likes women very much, anyhow. He mostly stays in his room, but when he comes out to the living room or kitchen where I am and it's after 8:00 pm or so, he's always stripped down to his very minimalist undies, sometimes topped by a T shirt. If he's letting his dog out to do her thing, he just plunks down on the sofa or leans against the door for 10 minutes or so until the dog returns, showing himself off in all his unglory.
I have asked him if he wouldn't mind throwing on a robe before he ventures out of his room, but he just ignores my requests.
I don't consider myself to be a prude by a long shot, but I feel rather uncomfortable to have a semi nude man parading around in front of me whether I like it or not. And I would never dream of wandering around dressed equivalently (say only panties and a bra) in front of him.
Plus, it just feels rude and disrespectful that he would keep this up even though he knows it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do? Is it common practice these days for people to act like they're living in a military barracks with others of the same gender even if they are actually living in a private home with one person of the opposite gender?
You aren't wrong to feel uncomfortable, but since he is ignoring your request to cover up, there isn't much recourse beyond looking for a new roommate. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, but I'm the only female in my household, and used to a short parade between bedrooms and the laundry room.
Maybe this is his subliminal way of saying he wants to hookup, have a roomie with benefits type of situation. Which is a very gross and immature way to go about it, if so.
He’s ignored your request to cover up and it makes you uncomfortable. I think you should start looking for a new roommate situation.
Maybe this is his subliminal way of saying he wants to hookup, have a roomie with benefits type of situation. Which is a very gross and immature way to go about it, if so.
He’s ignored your request to cover up and it makes you uncomfortable. I think you should start looking for a new roommate situation.
The OP is a senior and disabled, so it's more of a safety and personal boundary issue than a romantic issue.
Not that seniors and those with medical issues can't date, but based on her posts this isn't the most likely motive.
Instead of complaining, why don't you either, a: get another roommate (preferably female), -OR- b: move.
Both solutions would solve your problem. See how easy that is?
There may be a problem with either solution if a lease is involved and whose name is on it. Example: I have new upstairs neighbors as of October. They are extremely noisy and often interrupt my sleep with their loud behavior.
My solution? Yes, I plan on moving WHEN my lease is up the end of April. I'm not willing to jeopardize my good name and credibility by not complying with the lease. So I will live with this until the end of April. Thankfully I'm retired and can nap during the day.
Whoever holds the lease has the upper hand here. If it's a dual lease, there's not much she can do until it ends. Then she can move if that's the only solution.
Another thing she can do is buy him a pair of jogging pants and ask him to wear them when they are going to be in the same space. It may not work but it's worth a shot.
Yes, it will be money out of her pocket but, if it works, it would be money well spent.
I have asked him if he wouldn't mind throwing on a robe before he ventures out of his room, but he just ignores my requests.
I think you should be a little more direct and a little less polite about this.
"Please go put on a robe. I don't like it when you walk around the house half naked."
If that doesn't work, say the same thing the next time but with an angry tone.
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