Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's a bit sad to face the reality that I am really alone now. I don't have a boyfriend/husband and no one knows about my story only a therapist. People think I'm this polished, polite and educated go-getter (which I am), but they have no clue what's going on inside. I cry as soon as I get home these days. It's a bit of a rough patch, but I think I needed this to finally realize that I can only rely on myself and push myself towards my goals (once I've recovered from this low). Hopefully, this episode is a way for me to shed the dead skin left with their imprint and resurface with my own identity. I'm really hoping I will go back to my confident bubbly self soon.
You can't pick your relatives, but you can pick your friends. Talk to your therapist about building healthy relationships. With your background it will be hard, but if you don't move on you will never be free. Good luck.
There are online groups for adult children of narcissists and dysfunctional toxic families, if you want to also share with a group of people in your type of situation.
If they are all religious nuts, tell them you are sending thoughts and prayers, and God will provide. If that doesn't work, they need to contact your financial manager, Helen Hunt. If they want money, they should go to Helen Hunt for it.
Read that aloud if it doesn't make sense.
Demanding money is just one more form of abuse.
She’s the cousin of the credit manager of my old mechanic. His sign read “My credit manager is Helen Wait, so if you want credit, go to Helen Wait.”
It just occurred to me that the timing of their unreasonable request (or demand) is odd. When, exactly, did this loan-request drama begin, OP? Seems it came in awfully close to Thanksgiving, and the beginning of the holiday season.
It seems, that Thanksgiving, etc. mean nothing to your family, at least in the context of their relationship with you. It's a very inappropriate time to be demanding thousands of dollars from a younger family member. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but the timing of it seems to underscore the notion, that you mean nothing to them. The holidays are a time for family to come together and (ideally) enjoy each other's company, and share warm and fuzzy feelings. They've stood that on its head, and seem to be using the season to crassly try to extort money from you.
This is not how true family behaves.
You have our support and best wishes for a happy season, and a happy life. Dump this aggravation from your life, that's only weighing you down. It's a sad situation, but you seem to be able to do well on your own, all things considered. That's impressive! ((( Hugs ))). for the holidays!
It just occurred to me that the timing of their unreasonable request (or demand) is odd. When, exactly, did this loan-request drama begin, OP? Seems it came in awfully close to Thanksgiving, and the beginning of the holiday season.
It seems, that Thanksgiving, etc. mean nothing to your family, at least in the context of their relationship with you. It's a very inappropriate time to be demanding thousands of dollars from a younger family member. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but the timing of it seems to underscore the notion, that you mean nothing to them. The holidays are a time for family to come together and (ideally) enjoy each other's company, and share warm and fuzzy feelings. They've stood that on its head, and seem to be using the season to crassly try to extort money from you.
This is not how true family behaves.
You have our support and best wishes for a happy season, and a happy life. Dump this aggravation from your life, that's only weighing you down. It's a sad situation, but you seem to be able to do well on your own, all things considered. That's impressive! ((( Hugs ))). for the holidays!
Thank you, Ruth. I really appreciate it.
My birthday was on November 5th. Two days prior, my brother sent me a follow request on Instagram and wished me happy birthday on the 5th as well as my sisters (and parents through her).
Then last Thursday, my sister sent me a message to tell me my father had something to tell me. I responded on Friday asking her what it was about. I waited to days to weigh the pros and the cons and sent my response and well wishes on Sunday. My brother sent me his hateful message on Monday evening when I was at work.
I think they wanted to utilize my birthday as an excuse to reach out and fool me into the idea that they actually "care". Seemingly, my birthday didn't seem to matter last year or the year prior.
To the bolded part: I wholeheartedly agree. Parents love their children unconditionally and selflessly. Their love is clearly conditional on me providing them with money. The sole fact that they asked me for money right after sending me birthday wishes (after 4 years of no contact) is telling. As far as my brother's hate goes - he doesn't realize that I stopped caring what they think 4 years ago and when I cut them off then, I never intended on re-opening the door in the first place. They departed my life 4 years ago.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Solly says — Be nice!
