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OP. What is the key to enjoying yourself at a social gathering your never wanted to attend in the first place? As I have said before, "Bring a case of sparkling wine and several large glasses for sharing. Things get more enjoyable after 1/2 a bottle."
Here's the flip side of this scenario. I invited a new friend who recently moved to our area from out of state to our house for Christmas dinner tonight. I asked her well over a month ago if she'd like to join us and she accepted. I saw her two weeks ago in person, we did a little lunch and shopping together and she said she was still coming and asked what she could bring, and then offered to bring a dessert. I texted her later to find out what she likes to drink so that I could have a beverage on hand that she likes.
Fast forward to today. We bought two turkey roasts, an extra because she was coming and double the gree. Beans too. I did not make a dessert because she was bringing it. After we opened up our gifts this morning I immediately started cleaning the house and getting it ready for having a guest over, cleaned the guest bathroom etc.
At 10:30a.m.she texts and says she's so sorry but she can't make it, something came up. She's not sick, she didn't have some major calamity, she either had a better offer which is most likely, or maybe she just wanted to stay home, but if that was the case maybe she shouldn't have posted on Facebook minutes before herself all dolled up with makeup and looking ready to go out.
So I wasted money on extra food, I have no dessert for tonight, wasted time cleaning my house when I could have just hung out in my jammies and left the mess for tomorrow, and she hurt my feelings by waiting until the last minute to bail. She could have said something a few days ago, still would have been disappointed but I would have understood. What she did today was rude and I will not trust her word again. If you say you're going to go somewhere then you go, barring an emergency. Yes it's her holiday and she can do what she likes, but people who flake out like this hurt the people like me who just want to be kind and help others.
OP go to the function. You said you were going to go and to cancel now would be terrible. You can deal with an hour or so. Please don't be like my "friend".
Why should you feel obligated? Because you made a commitment to another person, that's why. They have prepared and planned for you to be there. Don't you honor other obligations you make? Don't you expect others to keep their commitments to you?
And, it being a co-worker makes this different. Not knowing what industry you work in, but could this show some doubts about you honoring some future work commitments, deadlines, meeting with a new client.... Are they going to wonder if you might back out last minute?
I would have said No to begin with, but since you said Yes, then you have to go, sorry. Just stay 1-2 hours. Not worth the awkwardness at work on Monday.
I've never backed out of plans once I said I would go. Unless I'm actually sick, I go even if on the day of the plans I suddenly don't feel like it. I usually have a good time and if not I don't stay all day or all evening. It's the golden rule for me and I wouldn't want someone to just cancel or not feel like showing up if I were the one extending an invite.
But, now you know for the future you don't say yes to an invite unless you mean it. Or you commit to nothing more than stopping by for a drink, or just not be available if you don't want to be available.
Hey, Crazy4Chickens..... I would never bail on an invitation if you invited me to dinner. No, not fishing for an invite...... I live far away from you. ;-)
I just think your friend was rude.
My take is, you should go if you made that commitment. However ...
If it was a casual invite to an open house sort of thing, then maybe you would have more wiggle room to decide not to go. I had a friend who used to do these and there was always a lot of people coming & going through the house. One person not showing up really wouldn't have had much, if any, impact.
If this was a sit-down dinner thing, then no, you really need to go.
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I would've gone even if it was a short visit, These days we spend more time being disconnected than connected.... You can't replace the time spent behind a screen than with people who care about you.
I would've gone even if it was a short visit, These days we spend more time being disconnected than connected.... You can't replace the time spent behind a screen than with people who care about you.
The notion of "caring" here is debatable. It looks like the OP got a courtesy invite: something done to be generous or kind, rather than with sincere enthusiasm, which is not a bad thing. Since the family planned on the OP coming, and if it was a sit-down dinner, the proper thing to do was to show up, awkwardness nonewithstanding. If it's a casual "come eat some snacks and watch 'Home Alone'" night, it'd be equally proper to politely back out, it being a courtesy invite and all. Also, who was at the event other than the OP? Just family and close friends, or a diverse mishmash of attendees?
OP, cone back and tell us. Did you go, and what kind of night was it?
I say OP went, stayed 3 hours, and had a "decent time"
I'll guess he didn't go AND he didn't even call to say he wouldn't be there.
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