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I'm basically an adult orphan (minus any living relatives) and had stated to a co-worker that I would be home alone on Christmas. I was invited to attend their family gathering and accepted, but am not really in the frame of mind of wanting to go and not really into large gatherings with lots of kids either. I've grappled with ways to back out but can't think of anything compelling enough. I want to tell the truth that I'd be happier at this point with a quiet day at home, but don't want to hurt feelings. It's not like they'll "miss me" ....but don't want to seem ungrateful, which I'm not. Ideas?
Ordinarily I'm not a fan of fibbing, but at this last minute it seems to me that the only way to gracefully back out is to invent a headache or the perceived onset of a cold. In fact the latter is good because then you can honestly say that you don't want to transmit any viruses to their family. (It's true that you don't want to transmit any viruses -- you never want to transmit viruses -- but the fact that you may not have any viruses at the moment doesn't need to be revealed.)
And of course express your unhappiness at not being able to attend, and thank them for the invitation.
"Thank you so much for your invitation. I always use Christmas as a time to relax and for some self-reflection, so I prefer not to attend any gatherings. I really appreciate you thinking of me, though."
As long as you express gratitude and say something about benefiting yourself by staying alone, what other excuse do you need? No lying necessary.
After having accepted the very kind and generous invitation, I think it would be really rude to cancel at the very last minute by saying that that their their company is just not appealing. That rejection is a slap in the face. So if you really don’t want to go, be kind and feign a headache or illness.
The problem with inventing a cold is that coworker will see you tomorrow at work and notice you aren't sick. But I agree a polite excuse of illness is best or suck it up and go.
After having accepted the very kind and generous invitation, I think it would be really rude to cancel at the very last minute by saying that that their their company is just not appealing. That rejection is a slap in the face. So if you really don’t want to go, be kind and feign a headache or illness.
I agree with this. You can't back out the day of without being extremely rude, even if you're sure they won't really care. Your coworker might hold it against you forever and could have unpleasant repercussions in the work place.
It's too late to cancel, so just go for a couple hours and you can always make an excuse to leave early by saying you promised to call your relatives at XX time.
If you've already accepted, I would say you should go. It would be rude to bail at the last minute.
The same thing happens to me, and my response is always the same. "I really appreciate the invitation, but I actually enjoy my solo Christmas. I've developed a number of traditions that I look forward to each year."
It's not lying. I enjoy a quiet day of pajamas, jigsaw puzzles, cooking, and classic musicals.
At this late time... go for a short visit, you don't have to stay long.
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