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I understand that your gossipy posts are endlessly fascinating to you, but for others it's just tedious back story that holds no interest or point.
We get it. You love to collect and share the private details of people's lives. Some folks find that repugnant though.
If it's so repugnant then why even bother wasting your time reading through it and responding? Seems like you enjoy it. It must entertain you or else you wouldn't be here pages later responding. If you didn't find this discussion interesting you would be long gone by now. Because when there is a topic I could care less of, I wouldn't even waste a second investing my time in partaking in the discussion.
Your participation means this "gossip" is entertaining to you. Seriously, take a step back and think about it. I mean think about it, you are in a forum that is about "non-romantic relationships" where people, or better yet complete strangers, give details of their lives and what's going on, so people like you can give their opinion, discuss their lives and the lives of others, because at the end of the day what these forums are, people just meddling in the business of others. At least I don't act all high an mighty about these things.
I come on these forums as way to vent, complain and seek advice. It's cheaper than a therapist when the issue is not a serious one, and it's better than talking about my issues with certain friends to other friends, which could lead to drama. This forum for me is a place I can air my challenges, get the insight of others. Yes sometimes it's obnoxious and sometimes I can be repetitive but if you don't like it you can ignore it.
If it's so repugnant then why even bother wasting your time reading through it and responding? Seems like you enjoy it. It must entertain you or else you wouldn't be here pages later responding. If you didn't find this discussion interesting you would be long gone by now. Because when there is a topic I could care less of, I wouldn't even waste a second investing my time in partaking in the discussion.
Your participation means this "gossip" is entertaining to you. Seriously, take a step back and think about it. I mean think about it, you are in a forum that is about "non-romantic relationships" where people, or better yet complete strangers, give details of their lives and what's going on, so people like you can give their opinion, discuss their lives and the lives of others, because at the end of the day what these forums are, people just meddling in the business of others. At least I don't act all high an mighty about these things.
Have a happy new year.
Trust me, I am not reading your pages of posts but I certainly am reading the thoughtful responses. Are you?
I know you're not reading mine though as you seem to think I find your posts repugnant. I don't. But I find your habit of gossiping about others to be silly and mean.
Trust me, I am not reading your pages of posts but I certainly am reading the thoughtful responses. Are you?
I know you're not reading mine though as you seem to think I find your posts repugnant. I don't. But I find your habit of gossiping about others to be silly.
Yes I am reading them. Read #34 to see that I am starting to see what part of my issue is.
Take care and have a happy New Year! I am off of here until 2020.
You have a lot of odd friends and drama in your life. I suggest to find a more calm circle of friends and also work on yourself to not contribute to so much unnecessary drama. It sounds like highschool.
You have a lot of odd friends and drama in your life. I suggest to find a more calm circle of friends and also work on yourself to not contribute to so much unnecessary drama. It sounds like highschool.
You have a lot of odd friends and drama in your life. I suggest to find a more calm circle of friends and also work on yourself to not contribute to so much unnecessary drama. It sounds like highschool.
That's actually one of my New Year's resolution. Surround myself with folks who are healthy. I already spread myself to thin as it is, so it's time to cut off the unhealthy relationships.
That's actually one of my New Year's resolution. Surround myself with folks who are healthy. I already spread myself to thin as it is, so it's time to cut off the unhealthy relationships.
I think that is wise. See, when reading your posts it becomes evident that a great many of the friends you surround yourself with fall into the category of "b*tchy gay drama queen game players who aren't living in a real world" and people like that are mentally unstable, unrealistic and unable to have healthy relationships because they have a tendency to be truly vicious in the head games they play and they treat their victims like they're no better than sh*t.
Your friend that this topic is about, from what you have just finished describing about him and the way he plays nasty head games and treats other men so poorly, he fits 100% into that unrealistic "b*tchy gay drama queen game player" category. And he is playing his head games with you too and cruelly using you to hurt other people. He is not your friend.
So if those are mainly the kind of people you associate with, then what does that say about you? Why are you associating with people like that? What do you get out of it? Does it mean that you are like that too and that birds of a feather flock together? Is that why you are driven to go online to vent and gossip about your friends?
Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your own character and determine how you really want to be perceived for the rest of your life by other people that you choose as friends. Right now your track record isn't looking so good.
Yes, I agree with you that it is time for you to cut off the unhealthy relationships and if you have to spread yourself thin amongst friends then do it with friends who are more mentally stable, genuine and normal in their interactions and affections with their friends and loved ones.
That's actually one of my New Year's resolution. Surround myself with folks who are healthy. I already spread myself to thin as it is, so it's time to cut off the unhealthy relationships.
This guy is a drain. And I remember from another thread that you wanted to help him. Which is admirable. IF he could BE helped, but there is no help for narcissists. You could be helping someone who is capable of being helped. Or just doing something more pleasant.
Don't you with you had gone with someone else to that Temple, as an example?
I would say he is one of my closest friends, but at the same time I am careful with him as he is a bit of a narcissist and he needs A LOT of validation. But overall our friendship is fine in regards to conflicts or anything like that.
I write this because this friend loves texting me "I miss you". He started doing this a year ago, and I didn't take it as anything too serious, and I would say "I miss you too! Looking forward to seeing you!". The thing is he keeps doing it a lot lately. I see him maybe once every two weeks, but if it's been a week and I don't see him or talk to him, he will text me "I miss you." The thing is he is starting to text me that a lot which it's starting to annoy me a little. I could understand if we hadn't seen each other in over a month, but like I said on average I see him every other week. But I think what bothers me it's about HIM. He doesn't text me, "Hey how's your week going?" or anything like that. It's about him, and what he wants, his needs, when he says "I miss you." It almost feels like he just wants me to validate him in my response? These "I miss you" texts have been coming in every other week for some time now.
So I have started to ignore him when he says "I miss you." But the thing when we try to coordinate something, and set a time and date, he will finish it off saying "I miss you".
The thing is I don't really miss him, so I am not going to say it in my response. The second thing is I don't know if it's genuine. Sometimes I feel it's part of his narcissism, of having someone validate him in that sense. That someone out there is "missing" him too. But then when I ignore it then I feel guilty, thinking that if he does truly miss me I am coming off like an ass for not responding and ignoring it.
If he sent me a message like that once every few months, would totally respond to it. But when I get a "miss you" every other week, I kind of just roll my eyes. Either it's not genuine and he wants to feed his narcissism methinks or he's just become needy.
I think that is wise. See, when reading your posts it becomes evident that a great many of the friends you surround yourself with fall into the category of "b*tchy gay drama queen game players who aren't living in a real world" and people like that are mentally unstable, unrealistic and unable to have healthy relationships because they have a tendency to be truly vicious in the head games they play and they treat their victims like they're no better than sh*t.
Your friend that this topic is about, from what you have just finished describing about him and the way he plays nasty head games and treats other men so poorly, he fits 100% into that unrealistic "b*tchy gay drama queen game player" category. And he is playing his head games with you too and cruelly using you to hurt other people. He is not your friend.
So if those are mainly the kind of people you associate with, then what does that say about you? Why are you associating with people like that? What do you get out of it? Does it mean that you are like that too and that birds of a feather flock together? Is that why you are driven to go online to vent and gossip about your friends?
Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your own character and determine how you really want to be perceived for the rest of your life by other people that you choose as friends. Right now your track record isn't looking so good.
Yes, I agree with you that it is time for you to cut off the unhealthy relationships and if you have to spread yourself thin amongst friends then do it with friends who are more mentally stable, genuine and normal in their interactions and affections with their friends and loved ones.
.
Yes, what is says about me is I tend to put up with too much and look the other way. Yes, there were flags there from the beginning which I think I ignored, but now it's impossible to ignore them. I have some a few friends that I have been friends with them since I was 7 years old and when I compare, I can really see what a healthy friendship compared to one that is just for "fun". I need to stop just the "fun" relationships, because what keeps happens I keep getting to close to people that aren't the healthiest to be around. Then I get closer to them and it becomes harder to cut things off.
I need to pick my friends more wisely because I am not respecting myself by surrounding myself with people who are like that. I don't think it's insecurity, just that I tend to let way too much go when I should be more respect for myself. I think I get that a lot from my dad. He surrounds himself not by the best company and has lots of friends who have issues.
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