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Start saving the money you should be paying in rent, every month, do not use it for anything else, except saving for a deposit. Life is full of choices, & as an adult, you will have to decide what your living choice is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bevv
Agree to start putting significant amounts of money away instead of spending it. Start learning now to live on a limited budget so that you can make the transition easier when you do move out.
Great points. Living at home can be great to pay off student loans and/or save for a down payment of a house and/or start saving for retirement. Or just save up extra for your living expenses when you are on your own.
I have several friends, in their mid -late 20s, who live with their parents. In all the cases it seriously impacts their dating life. In both cases, the parents have confided to me that they are concerned that their child/children will ever start dating regularly, get married and have an "adult life".
Don't end up like my 70 and 72 year old cousins who are still single and living at home (their parents are dead so it is now their home) in their childhood bedrooms.
Of course, everyone is different. Living at home may work out fine for you and you can get a great head start on your retirement fund or money for traveling or for future housing expenses.
Sometimes my mom and dad wakes up 5.00 / 6.00 o'clock in the morning which is too early for me, and I wake up because of the noises. Sometimes I'm low on energy because I didn't get a full night sleep. It's not their fault, it's their apartment so I can't really dictate when they should wake up - but it's really just those small things that are beginning to irritate me
This make it sounds as if you are a new tenant. Isn't this where you have lived for years? Why is it suddenly *their* apartment and not your childhood home where all of these things should be familiar to you?
Unless you cant because you are paying off student loans/debt or saving to buy a place, you should move out. Those don't seem to apply to you. It's intimidating, but it's part of growing up
Consenting adults should be able to do what they want, within the bounds of the law and morality. If the OP, and the OP's parents, are all fine with her living there in the apartment, then so be it.
That said, a crucial step in adulthood is moving out of your childhood home and living on your own. OP, you are chronologically an adult, but as long as you're living under the care of your parents, you're not quite yet a "full" adult. In some ways, you are still a dependent child.
In my opinion, it's well past time for you to strike out on your own. But if you want to cushion the blow, commit to yourself that you will leave in one year, and use that year to save up every single penny (euro?) that you possibly can. Having money at your disposal will make your independent life go a lot more smoothly.
In the meantime, say nothing to your parents about what time they awake. It's their apartment and they can get up whenever they choose. Try going to bed earlier so you'll get a sufficient night's sleep. This too, by the way, is a mark of adulthood. Unless you need to habitually stay up late due to your work hours, you should learn to go to bed earlier and get enough sleep before you have to get up the next morning.
Hi all
I am currently living with my parents. My mom and dad are very supportive, they don't let me pay for anything although I do help out sometimes, with grocery shopping or if they ever need something etc.
The thing is I'm 25 years old (female) and I am really beginning to feel like living with my parents is taking away my personal space and sometimes I really need to be alone, but then I can't cause the apartment is very small and I have a small bedroom.
Sometimes my mom and dad wakes up 5.00 / 6.00 o'clock in the morning which is too early for me, and I wake up because of the noises. Sometimes I'm low on energy because I didn't get a full night sleep. It's not their fault, it's their apartment so I can't really dictate when they should wake up - but it's really just those small things that are beginning to irritate me
Other than that, my parents are very nice and sweet and I love them <3
The thing is, I haven't moved out because I like the freedom I have now, no rent, no bills etc. I can save all my money and go out, buy the clothes I want, have a lot more money to spend than if I had an apartment.
I am so confused and IDK what to do. Should I keep living with my parents and save up or just move out but then my economy will be tight.
Although the thought of having my own space is heaven to me, and I am really into the idea... But the thought of having a strict economy just ruins it.
(In Europe the apartments are really expensive) so there is no option to move into a low rent apartment.
What should I do?
Do? Grow UP is what you need to do! You're irritated because your parents wake you out of your beauty sleep? Too bad. If they have to get up early because they work, they are doing it to provide your free living. This does not give you the right to complain about it. You want your own space? Earn the right to it yourself!! Your parents probably did and still are. Honestly, your parents are not doing you any favors by allowing you to live off them at this age. All three of you need to change something.
Your parents and your free living won't last forever. The tables will probably turn at some point...your parents could end up relying on YOU, not the other way around. Better get ready for it. Something will eventually change and you could be left in big trouble with no ability/skills to handle it. Time to learn the independence you WILL need at some point. Realizing that you need to budget your money to pay your own way has to happen some time. So sorry you don't like the idea. Do you want to remain a dependent child or do you want to be an adult? Even if your parents leave their apartment to you, you'll need to support it and pay the bills. Can you?
You don't need to do everything immediately. Start with small changes. Even if you don't move now, you should be learning how to distinguish between necessities and luxuries (doing whatever you want, buying whatever you want, entertaining yourself all the time are luxuries!!!). Learn how to save money you don't need to spend. One way to ease into all this is to insist on paying more of the utilities or day to day expenses of the apartment before you actually do move out. Set some deadlines, make some plans. They are enabling you and that isn't a good thing. You need to learn what things actually cost your parents and what they will eventually cost you.
BTW, living in "expensive" Europe is no excuse for living off someone else and then complaining about them. I'm sure you will think I am being mean. Well, life has a habit of being even meaner to those who don't learn to face it.
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-03-2020 at 02:57 PM..
My daughter moved out for college overseas. Her HS friends stayed here or went to other EU countries. One rents a room with use of kitchen, use of bathroom and use of laundry machine. Cost 400 euro a month in us dollars 446. The landlady and student cook each 3x times a week and split groceries bill. On sunday is eat outside of house.
Other friend rents a small house together with other student rent + utilities total 990 euro.There is severe shortage of affordable student housing and of affordable rent houses/flats for young adults wanting to live independently, recently divorced needful of moving out etc.
All 3 are good with finances and live within budgets.They do remember the carefree days of their teen years and going fun shopping. DD now talks about cost of laundry pods......
Of the 22 of her HS class is only 2 stayed home and later on they regret not moving out.
It is like they missed the moment of moving out and got cold feet and now is few months more and is 2 years ago since graduation.
I know several persons who never left parental home, they are now retirement age.
Start saving the money you should be paying in rent, every month, do not use it for anything else, except saving for a deposit. Life is full of choices, & as an adult, you will have to decide what your living choice is.
Ideally, the OP should save for rent, the deposits, along with what she expects she will need to spend on utilities and other expenses associated with the apartment like a council tax, renter’s insurance, etc. I think she should make a plan to move out at a set time. Most places have moving seasons of sorts and moving outside that season can yield some good discounts in rent. I know in my complex, the rents can vary by a couple hundred dollars a month between high and low season, so it is pretty significant. Waiting will allow the OP to keep an eye on the trends.
I know Europe can be expensive, but with no limit in the time the OP has to look, she should be able to find something- be it with a roommate or some other sort of flat share situation or a small studio/efficiency.
Save? The OP never mentions having a job or income. Will we ever find out?
I remember her from earlier threads that she started, albeit in other CD forums. She does work, but chooses to live with her parents so that her money is hers and their money is hers, so to speak--at least according to her original post on this thread.
Her reasons for remaining in the family home are not ones of economy, but so that she can have more disposable income to fritter away on clothing and going out, a.k.a. a prolonged adolescence.
In my opinion, if she wishes to have more personal space and alone time, it's time for her to put on her grown up pants and make sacrifices in order to have those intangible luxuries.
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