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He told you he was "on his way" to the party. Is there a chance they were in the car already, and it just didn't occur to him???
Maybe he just doesn't think very fast on his feet. Even if I knew you were home, I would have thought you'd be too tired from traveling to come to the party.
Yes, he could have at least asked, but who here really knows why he didn't?
I think this is closest to what happened, and my wife thinks so too.
If I unexpectedly learned that a good friend was alone for NYE, and I was going to a very small (2 other couples...all good friends who socialize a lot), very casual get-together, I would 100% invite that friend. Not a question about it.
I do think it probably didn't compute that my wife and I wouldn't be together for the holiday and that we'd both still be out of town. But obviously the one friend that called DID know.
OK, so why do you think they acted as they did? That's what I'm getting at.
OK, so why do you think they acted as they did? That's what I'm getting at.
No one is going to be able to tell you why they acted the way they did. There could be many different reasons, some of which involve background information that we know nothing about.
Since you say you are "truly good friends", the best thing to do is ask them. Ask why you were not included in their NYE festivities, especially after " Bobby" called and found out that you were home that night.
Maybe the friend that stopped by to borrow something assumed you were going to the party. Did he wish you happy new year's or anything, during the day? Probably not, he probably thought he would see you at the party later.
I do think the party throwers just didn't realize you and your wife would be home, or available to go (not too tired from the trip, etc).
Unless there is something else going on with these two groups of friends, that would lead you to believe it was nothing more than an over sight?
It wasn’t the caller’s place to invite you to someone else’s house. And maybe their plan was to cook steaks or something similar where there would be specific portions based on numbers.
Is this really worth worrying over? If not being alone on NYE was so important to you (since you referenced “If I had a friend who was alone...) you should have coordinated something with your friends in advance.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 10 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,982,736 times
Reputation: 50671
Kem, I think when you are "totally against inviting yourself" to things, this kind of misunderstanding happens.
Since you're very close, it really wouldn't have been out of line for you to text the host, state that you are back in town unexpectedly and you spoke to the friend who mentioned the get together. And your wife isn't back in town yet, but would it be ok if you dropped in to ring in the new year?
You know they didn't purposely not invite you, there was no "hush hush don't mention this to Kem, they're not invited" because the other couple felt free to mention it.
But I understand it, if you don't feel free making your wishes known.
Next time you all get together, just ask how the get together went, and say something about just arriving back in town before the event and how your wife was still away so it was an unusual NYE for you. Allow them to say "oh you should have just come over" and then you can say I kind of thought about it but was still jet lagged and thought this might a be a year to just celebrate quietly. Done.
No one is going to be able to tell you why they acted the way they did. There could be many different reasons, some of which involve background information that we know nothing about.
Since you say you are "truly good friends", the best thing to do is ask them. Ask why you were not included
I know that. I am more interested in what the OP thought. Why did he immediately jump to being offended instead of assuming it was just a simple misunderstanding?
I am wondering why the OP doesn't seem to trust this friendship. OP, do you suspect you are not as close to these people as you believed?
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