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I wouldn't tell the woman friend. She has enough to deal with. Besides, Johnny already told her that he thinks she may not have been really raped. It'll probably get back to her later that Johnny is continuing to spread this around. Also, it's likely that other people don't listen to what Johnny says, anyway, if he's the kind of person you say he is. Finally, he's giving his opinion. It's an ugly and all too common opinion, but he's not saying he was there & it wasn't rape. He's just giving his opinion about something he knows nothing about. So it's not that important.
It's not uncommon for rape victims not to be believed.
He sounds like a jerk. Don’t get involved. Either she will see that he is a jerk for herself, and it sounds like she has, or she needs him for some sick reason. The last thing she needs is you throwing gas on the fire. Let this die out and her sort it out by herself. The bearer of bad news is rarely appreciated.
He sounds like a jerk. Don’t get involved. Either she will see that he is a jerk for herself, and it sounds like she has, or she needs him for some sick reason. The last thing she needs is you throwing gas on the fire. Let this die out and her sort it out by herself. The bearer of bad news is rarely appreciated.
There might be a couple of things you don't know. First of all, Frimpter is openly gay. So that sexual tension you allude to isn't part of the dynamics of this friend group. Also, I'm pretty sure the other guy is gay as well...although I'm not sure Frimpter said that for sure or not?
And some people ARE able to observe boundaries in friendships between the sexes. Your observation doesn't equate fact.
Didn't say all friendship.. I said "BEST FRIEND" which is very specific, and often a source of drama.
It could be 100% platonic between a guy and girl, but as soon as that other person dates someone, that other new person will be extremely guarded against the potential of that boundary crossing between 'best' friends.
Thus it isn't just physical, there's a social component that prevents this. You can find rare exceptions, but posting such on open forums that reflects the masses, most won't understand the exact stress one has created with that attachment to 'best friend' status, and thus advice will be ignored or not as useful.
I've let too many toxic people in my life. I tend to make friends very easily, but what I need to work on is who I choose to be my friends. Several of my best friends are from when I was a kid and high school and those are all healthy sane people and I have no issues. Even newer friends are like that. I never write about them on these forums because they are positive people to be around. So I definitely know what a healthy solid friendship looks like.
I came out 6 years ago, and so I was thrust into the gay world, where there are a lot of unstable and damaged guys. I think this has been a learning experience for me, of who I let in my life and who I don't. I tend to be a pretty empathetic and friendly person, so people who tend to be lonely, or narcissistic, or need someone else to help fulfill, I fit in perfectly for them. I realized I was not cut out for the mainstream gay world. Believe it or not, there are a ton of people like Johnny in that community. Part of this is my fault, but I am learning. Part of it too is, like this friend Johnny, he really hasn't done anything to me, but at the same time I have turned the other cheek and not said anything when he behaves badly, which is enabling, which is just as bad on my part. So I realize I have things I need to work on. TBH most of my unstable friendships are primarily all my gay ones.
So this has actually been a New Year's resolution of cutting out the more toxic and unhealthy people in my life.
Didn't say all friendship.. I said "BEST FRIEND" which is very specific, and often a source of drama.
It could be 100% platonic between a guy and girl, but as soon as that other person dates someone, that other new person will be extremely guarded against the potential of that boundary crossing between 'best' friends.
Thus it isn't just physical, there's a social component that prevents this. You can find rare exceptions, but posting such on open forums that reflects the masses, most won't understand the exact stress one has created with that attachment to 'best friend' status, and thus advice will be ignored or not as useful.
I don't think this true. If they are really are not attracted to each other at all, emotionally or physically, I don't think there is an issue at all.
Yeah, I am not going to say anything. I am going to be seeing her on Friday, so I will keep my mouth shut.
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