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That's one of the main reasons I'm saving more money.
As for my bf demanding respect, isn't that the least you would want if haven't wronged the person in any manner and did nothing to deserve their negative behavior and ill treatment? Isn't treating others how you would like to be treated the basic logic?
Even my grandmother (mom's mother) thinks my mom shares most of the blame. She said it herself that her daughter (mom) isn't an easy person and makes things difficult for her and others sometimes.
You’re 30 years old and still live at home. This ‘issue’ with the bf wouldn’t be an issue if you lived on your own.
Guess what? Your mother doesn’t have to like your bf and your bf doesn’t have to like your mother and you ness to stop playing the both of them like a fiddle
My mom and bf haven't had the best relationship in the past. He had issues with her. Then again, my mom is prone to arguing with others so it's not new. Some people don't get along with her.
Recently I've been angry about several things; my parents' constant arguments and dysfunctional marriage, my mom lying in her promise ''I'm gonna start to like him (my bf)'' just because I was recovering from a surgery and things in the past.
My bf was previously hurt by my mother's awful treatment in the past but I elaborated the version and added things never said. I made her believe:
- Him saying: I only have your mom on my fb because of you, otherwise I hate her.
- That he really wanted to call her the b word and has said it to me.
- That he would be happy if she got excluded in our wedding.
At the moment the goal was to successfully have him all to myself if we get married (only have my grandma included, whom always liked him), expose her dislike towards him and her fake promise/truce and basically add more fuel to the fire. It was basically a ''screw it all, you don't have to fake it anymore and I don't care if you're not in my wedding, don't even come'' moment.
A person who lies about small things will lie about big things.
A person who lies about small things will lie about big things.
That's what my mother thinks now. She's more disappointed.
She thinks I might have some sociopathic traits; a mild-moderate version. I've lost track of how many times that word have been thrown; first by a couple posters here on one of my previous posts, on another site and now by my mother.
I just fail to believe it. It can't be. While it's true I was initially able to proceed with the lies without too much guilt (enjoying the drama at first), eventually I did ended up regretting it later on. If I'm capable of feeling empathy and guilt some-most of the times (except the time I once made my former HS French teacher cried at night) then that disorder wouldn't be accurate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL
You’re 30 years old and still live at home. This ‘issue’ with the bf wouldn’t be an issue if you lived on your own.
Guess what? Your mother doesn’t have to like your bf and your bf doesn’t have to like your mother and you ness to stop playing the both of them like a fiddle
It's actually common for some adults to live with their parents in our culture. I want to live on my own soon though. I will make sure that happens anytime this year. I did vowed that 2020 would be the year of changes and improvements.
That's what my mother thinks now. She's more disappointed.
She thinks I might have some sociopathic traits; a mild-moderate version. I've lost track of how many times that word have been thrown; first by a couple posters here on one of my previous posts, on another site and now by my mother.
I just fail to believe it. It can't be. While it's true I was initially able to proceed with the lies without too much guilt (enjoying the drama at first), eventually I did ended up regretting it later on. If I'm capable of feeling empathy and guilt some-most of the times (except the time I once made my former HS French teacher cried at night) then that disorder wouldn't be accurate.
You're right on that point. Beware of pop psychology diagnoses. But nevertheless you have undermined your mother's trust and now it's time to win it back.
First, tell the truth. Second, tell the truth. As I tell my children, it's better to tell the truth than lie, because the lie is always worse than anything else you've done. For trust is the essential element of any relationship, whether parental, romantic, friendship, or work. And while people are willing to forgive a mistake, they will never forget a lie. For they never know if they can trust anything else you say again.
What's more, most people who lie habitually think they're getting away with it. Yet in truth, they just haven't had their lies disproved. People might give you a pass on a lie for no other reason than that they don't have the energy, resources, or time to disprove your untruth. Yet they will always be watching.
If I'm capable of feeling empathy and guilt some-most of the times (except the time I once made my former HS French teacher cried at night) then that disorder wouldn't be accurate.
.
That is called self delusional logic.
By your own admission you lie and sometimes feel guilt, that certainly does not dismiss that you have a problem that possibly requires some professional help.
That's what my mother thinks now. She's more disappointed.
She thinks I might have some sociopathic traits; a mild-moderate version. I've lost track of how many times that word have been thrown; first by a couple posters here on one of my previous posts, on another site and now by my mother.
I just fail to believe it. It can't be. While it's true I was initially able to proceed with the lies without too much guilt (enjoying the drama at first), eventually I did ended up regretting it later on. If I'm capable of feeling empathy and guilt some-most of the times (except the time I once made my former HS French teacher cried at night) then that disorder wouldn't be accurate.
Some people with anti-social personality disorder can feel guilt - they just don't feel it strongly enough to stop them from doing anti-social things.
I've noticed that people who don't seem to feel guilt, or don't feel guilt strongly, sometimes use the word "guilt" when what they're really describing is "regret." As in, "I do feel guilty that I killed those women, because it caused a lot of problems." Which makes sense, as how would one accurately identify an emotion they're not capable of?
Some people with anti-social personality disorder can feel guilt - they just don't feel it strongly enough to stop them from doing anti-social things.
I've noticed that people who don't seem to feel guilt, or don't feel guilt strongly, sometimes use the word "guilt" when what they're really describing is "regret." As in, "I do feel guilty that I killed those women, because it caused a lot of problems." Which makes sense, as how would one accurately identify an emotion they're not capable of?
Interesting. I'll get myself analyzed with a shrink anytime this year.
I would like to believe that I'm capable of being a loving mother in the near future. I want to have one child at least. That would be part of my happiness.
That's what my mother thinks now. She's more disappointed.
She thinks I might have some sociopathic traits; a mild-moderate version. I've lost track of how many times that word have been thrown; first by a couple posters here on one of my previous posts, on another site and now by my mother.
I just fail to believe it. It can't be. While it's true I was initially able to proceed with the lies without too much guilt (enjoying the drama at first), eventually I did ended up regretting it later on. If I'm capable of feeling empathy and guilt some-most of the times (except the time I once made my former HS French teacher cried at night) then that disorder wouldn't be accurate.
It's actually common for some adults to live with their parents in our culture. I want to live on my own soon though. I will make sure that happens anytime this year. I did vowed that 2020 would be the year of changes and improvements.
Living with your parents as an adult is one thing.. living with your parents as an adult, but acting like a child is another.
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