Mutual acquaintance threatens to call police bc I kindly told her stop taking advantage of my boyfriend (definition, websites)

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

Now that she's trying to go back and defend her relationship, I'm thinking maybe Happyfarm exaggerated and overplayed how bad her boyfriend is.

BUT her problem in her O.P. is still really about the boyfriend & their relationship.........not some 3rd party IMO..........

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

BUT her problem in her O.P. is still really about the boyfriend & their relationship.........not some 3rd party IMO..........

Completely agree. Especially seeing as her title and then her first post are so divergent. Her issue isn't REALLY with this chica, it's with her boyfriend.


But now she's defending her relationship...so I'm thinking she exaggerated somewhat.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

Completely agree. Especially seeing as her title and then her first post are so divergent. Her issue isn't REALLY with this chica, it's with her boyfriend.


But now she's defending her relationship...so I'm thinking she exaggerated somewhat.

If she exaggerated about her boyfriend.....which is really lying in a post.....then maybe the problem is O.P. & not her boyfriend IMO........shrugs........what makes you think she is doing that?????

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by Nik4me

You are right about everything above.
So go deeper- why all this is happening to you?
A lot of questions need to be answered.
Maybe it is not you, who does not see the future in this relationship?
Have you ever thought of that?
You two need to talk it over honestly- none of you owe anything to anyone yet.
Why does your BF feel the need to care so much for other people vs his own? And you?

It could be that you are not a good match if your relationship is based on physical intimacy mostly.
What is about each of you long term goals in life? Do they match?
If one removes physical aspect of the relationship - can you even stand each other?- that would be your test.
Obviously- a lot of things wrong here- on both parts- try to figure it out.
Sometimes, clean break is better than trying to change each other.

P.S. Ease up on your FB interaction with people.
Another test: if the only way you interact is on a FB,WhatsApp, etc- those relationships are better being dropped off completely ( don’t use as a harassment tool either)
Life is too short for fake “friendships”,”relationships”
Thank you for sharing and letting us to chime in. Hopefully, it is helpful to you

Great advice my friend. To answer your question why my boyfriend cares so much about other people before his taking care of himself first, probably has to do with his religious upbringing and his Father financially enabling him on big purchases & sometimes home repairs. It's nice of his Dad to help him out but I think it's done more harm than good. He has told me about having compassion for others. That's great but anyone can show compassion without opening their wallet. Being compassionate is one of his great qualities but sometimes he doesn't understand boundaries need to be set that's it's okay to say no.

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

BUT her problem in her O.P. is still really about the boyfriend & their relationship.........not some 3rd party IMO..........

I was in the wrong, I should of gone to my boyfriend 1st instead of getting upset with the woman mooching money off of him

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

If she exaggerated about her boyfriend.....which is really lying in a post.....then maybe the problem is O.P. & not her boyfriend IMO........shrugs........what makes you think she is doing that?????

Well, at first, she was saying how she'd never marry him. And then she was saying how everyone he knows takes advantage of him because he's a soft touch. Her language about him was rather harsh, and she got called out on it. She kind of made him sound like a border-line idiot.


Now, she's trying to present herself in a more 'lovey' way. That she DOES have loving feelings toward him. That she DOES like being with him. That she DOES have affection for him. She's being defensive with us.


So...I think her original harshness regarding him was...exaggerated. Could be wrong though, of course.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Showing love & affection & kissing........is for if you feel love & affection IMO. How can you feel love & affection for a man that isn't acting very manly or good to you....& that you are complaining about?

How do you guys live if you don't support him & he doesn't have any money?

We don't live together. We don't believe in cohabitation before marriage. I know how to cook up a good meal at his place. We stay home a lot.

I don't withdraw love & affection just because I'm upset with him about something.

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

Well, at first, she was saying how she'd never marry him. And then she was saying how everyone he knows takes advantage of him because he's a soft touch. Her language about him was rather harsh, and she got called out on it. She kind of made him sound like a border-line idiot.


Now, she's trying to present herself in a more 'lovey' way. That she DOES have loving feelings toward him. That she DOES like being with him. That she DOES have affection for him. She's being defensive with us.


So...I think her original harshness regarding him was...exaggerated. Could be wrong though, of course.

Well, who wants to stay in a loveless & cold relationship. That doesn't sound fun. Humans are meant to touch each other within consent of course.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

We don't live together. We don't believe in cohabitation before marriage. I know how to cook up a good meal at his place. We stay home a lot.

I dunno how you can be serious about a man without living with him IMO........but I also dunno how you can be serious about a man that has no money or gives away money he doesn't have........or that never takes you anywhere. Why on earth do you stay?

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

I dunno how you can be serious about a man without living with him IMO........but I also dunno how you can be serious about a man that has no money or gives away money he doesn't have........or that never takes you anywhere. Why on earth do you stay?

Some couples do stay home a lot. It may not fit for everyone. They called homebodies lol. At home, we watch a lot of movies together.

We do go out occasionally, including Church related events. Sometimes there's free events going on around town. If we go out to eat, it's usually something cheap. There's tons of restaurants in our area and found some good ones at low-cost.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

Some couples do stay home a lot. It may not fit for everyone. They called homebodies lol. At home, we watch a lot of movies together.

We do go out occasionally, including Church related events. Sometimes there's free events going on around town. If we go out to eat, it's usually something cheap. There's tons of restaurants in our area and found some good ones at low-cost.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Oh.......this explains lots.......................BUT you never did say why do you stay with somebody that doesn't act like a man.....or gives people $ he doesn't have???????????

IMO if either person has no $..........that's a warning sign for a failed relationship.........

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

We don't live together. We don't believe in cohabitation before marriage. I know how to cook up a good meal at his place. We stay home a lot.

I don't withdraw love & affection just because I'm upset with him about something.




Well, who wants to stay in a loveless & cold relationship. That doesn't sound fun. Humans are meant to touch each other within consent of course.

Won't argue that. However, you DID make him seem like an idiot.