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Look the person in the eye and give them three examples of their unreliability, and how that affected you.
There is no need to beat around the bush.
Wait for response, which I imagine will be excuses. How the person responds, should dictate whether you decide to spend time with him or her. Excuses made in defense of bad behavior would tell you a lot about this person’s maturity.
IMO, I think telling him or her directly could lead to reflection and change. Probably it won’t, but you could give them that chance.
Look the person in the eye and give them three examples of their unreliability, and how that affected you.
There is no need to beat around the bush.
Wait for response, which I imagine will be excuses. How the person responds, should dictate whether you decide to spend time with him or her. Excuses made in defense of bad behavior would tell you a lot about this person’s maturity.
IMO, I think telling him or her directly could lead to reflection and change. Probably it won’t, but you could give them that chance.
Well I wish I had just confronted them directly, at least I would have had a cathartic moment. Instead I just told them I was backing out of our agreement because I wasn't agreeable to the unexpected situation that I was never informed about. I didn't accuse, I didn't say they were unreliable or inconsiderate, I didn't tell them how much trouble they caused me, I just told them I was going to find an alternative.
Well I wish I had just confronted them directly, at least I would have had a cathartic moment. Instead I just told them I was backing out of our agreement because I wasn't agreeable to the unexpected situation that I was never informed about. I didn't accuse, I didn't say they were unreliable or inconsiderate, I didn't tell them how much trouble they caused me, I just told them I was going to find an alternative.
Crickets. No reply.
Do not be surprised if your unreliable friend resurfaces when convenient for them. I hope you have a long memory then.
...that they are unreliable, in a hopefully constructive way, that does not offend them. Too much.
That's too vague. I wish you'd been more specific. There are many ways to be unreliable, and often people are unreliable in one way (like always being late) while being very reliable in other areas (being there for you in a crisis).
The best way is usually to put it in terms of how you feel:
"I find I get impatient when you..."
"It's so discouraging for me when you..."
"it makes me feel insecure that you..."
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