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Sometimes people just don't get the message, no matter how many times you tell them, so you end up being rude when you shouldn't have to be.
I don't like sports. Never have and never will. However, this doesn't stop my husband trying to tell me about them anyway. I have told him:
-I don't like sports
-I don't care about sports
-Stop telling me about sports
When he starts in on some story about sports, or something he just saw watching it, I will even interrupt him while he's talking with "I don't care", "don't tell me about this", etc. He continues to do it anyway. I think maybe he just likes to hear himself talk and doesn't care that I don't want to hear it.
Awe. I did this to my Mom. Who I dearly loved. But I didn't care about sports!
People like the OP's example are easily handled by social conventions rather than truth/rudeness: "I'm busy right now" "I'm in the middle of something I need to concentrate on" etc. Why start something negative? If they persist then you persist with emphasis "I'm BUSY and don't have time for this" and move away even if you are sitting at your desk.
Being rude can cause a whole other set of interactions that are worse. Unless you want to be rude on purpose, like a power thing. Like driving a car, identify object in the way and go around, not over.
Yes this.
Quote:
I have this annoying coworker who will approach me to tell me some boring story or opinion she has, and I couldn't care less. If not that she is asking nosy questions.
She is too stupid to take hints. I have my back turned to her and give minimal replies. Would this response be warranted
What you describe and how you propose to respond crosses the line from being rude to being mean and personal. It would say more about you than about her if you cannot find a firm yet diplomatic way to handle it.
For the people who care about their work done well and dislike chitchatting so much about non-work related will agree with you that that coworker is a busybody, annoying, insensitive and rude because you are busy with your work and she does not care about you, but to intrude herself and tell you story and opinion that you are not interested in. She does not care about you. She just cares about herself and wants to seek attentions.
For the people who are social butterflies or like to talk constantly would say you are rude and insensitive because you don’t care about another human being. They think and say people should socialize with each other all the times even when you are busy with work, you just have to drop your work and talk to them to make them feel better. That’s “humanâ€. That’s how you bond with each other and show you care for others.
If you don’t bond with another human, you’re a robot, and you’re an outcast. You know that now with high technology, humans hate robots or AI’s because those are taking humans’ jobs. So those humans who like to socialize have to stick together to fight with robots or "inhuman" people.
Well, nowadays, if you don’t want to be in trouble at work, you need to play games, you need to be a “team playerâ€. You need to talk more instead of working hard. You need to smile all the times and say all the words people like to hear, and then you will be okay. You need to go along to get along.
For the people who care about their work done well and dislike chitchatting so much about non-work related will agree with you that that coworker is a busybody, annoying, insensitive and rude because you are busy with your work and she does not care about you, but to intrude herself and tell you story and opinion that you are not interested in. She does not care about you. She just cares about herself and wants to seek attentions.
For the people who are social butterflies or like to talk constantly would say you are rude and insensitive because you don’t care about another human being. They think and say people should socialize with each other all the times even when you are busy with work, you just have to drop your work and talk to them to make them feel better. That’s “humanâ€. That’s how you bond with each other and show you care for others.
If you don’t bond with another human, you’re a robot, and you’re an outcast. You know that now with high technology, humans hate robots or AI’s because those are taking humans’ jobs. So those humans who like to socialize have to stick together to fight with robots or inhuman people.
Well, nowadays, if you don’t want to be in trouble at work, you need to play games, you need to be a “team playerâ€. You need to talk more instead of working hard. You need to smile all the times and say all the words people like to hear, and then you will be okay. You need to go along to get along.
Practice, practice, practice, make “perfectâ€.
Hogwash.
You present only extremes. As with most everything in life - it's mostly gray. The key is in the balance.
It's hogwash to you or some others. It's not hogwash to many others, I believe. Remember that there are always two sides for every story.
Of course there are 2 sides, but what you presented as the 2 sides were the 2 extremes. One can work hard, care about doing good work without much chitchat without being rude. One can also be reasonably social at work while understanding when, how and how much to be social while still working hard and well. It isn't "either/or".
If the OP doesn't care to converse or deal with this person in any way,, that's his or her prerogative. Find a way to be firm without being rude or mean. If all else fails speak with a supervisor for help in accomplishing it.
Of course there are 2 sides, but what you presented as the 2 sides were the 2 extremes. One can work hard, care about doing good work without much chitchat without being rude. One can also be reasonably social at work while understanding when, how and how much to be social while still working hard and well. It isn't "either/or".
If the OP doesn't care to converse or deal with this person in any way,, that's his or her prerogative. Find a way to be firm without being rude or mean. If all else fails speak with a supervisor for help in accomplishing it.
Of course there are all kinds of people at the workplaces and in society. There are people on the extreme sides (great and so bad) and people in between.
I was once phoned by a woman friend who eventually turned the conversation towards a recent shoe shopping trip. At that point, I interrupted her and told her there was something very important on the internet she needed to see, and I directed her to this video clip:
She fully grasped my meaning, and she's never again regaled me with another shoe shopping story.
OP, could you try something like this?
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