Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hey lovely people. I’m a lesbian. I work with a female, call her Beth. Beth and I were best friends for years, legitimately did everything together from trips to daily sleepovers. Batman and robin. Some red flags, however, including constant smack talking about everyone in our group of friends. She would just do very shady **** (never to me, only others) that I ignored because I loved her. She has a very hateful side that came out frequently (again, never to me)
Beth considered herself straight, however, admitted that she grew some feelings for me. Numerous phone calls at 3am confessing her feelings. I didn’t feel the same, but she continued to try. She eventually stopped trying and started dating other people, as did I (nothing serious though). We’d keep each other in the loop and laugh about our dating stories. Nothing changed between us and things were great, I figured she’s definitely over me.
2 years later, new female named Ashley joins our work and friend group. A few months into it, i realized I had feelings for Ashley and decided to pursue her. turns out, she had feelings for me too and we started dating (tried to keep it low key but our body language made it only too obvious to friends).
Beth picked up the vibes between us and turned into a complete monster, that I knew she was always capable of but ignored because it was never directed at me. First, she tried convincing me that Ashley is “whack”. Didn’t work. Then tried convincing Ashley that I’m whack and a “player” apparently and don’t take relationships seriously. Essentially she wanted to sabotage our relationship, that was more than obvious to me, but not to Ashley, who has severe insecurity issues.
Ashley distanced herself from me and got closer to Beth. Beth kept their friendship alive through constant “updates” and “advice” of what I’m doing and what I’m actually like (all bad). I read their messages, which tore me apart. I could not believe Beth would say those things about me to someone I had feelings for. Further, Beth made it a point to humiliate me in public every chance she got. I’m an introvert and feel awkward in social situations, she knew that. she became so hateful towards me, but tried to mask it as “I’m just kidding you’re being sensitive”.
Our friend group became awkward..Beth is very extroverted and was naturally closer to our friends than I was, so I felt weird. She turned on me and tried to convince others that I’m not good. I was still cool with the other friends but the vibe wasn’t the same. So I ended the friendship cold turkey. All ties cut, no looking back. Didn’t end on good terms but I was ready to move on. So be it, I thought. (This is my mindset now, at the time I was completely heartbroken and this whole thing really tore me apart).
3 months later (today), I spent a few months working at a different bureau and recently came back in the last month. Me and Ashley have been together for 3 months and are happy. She realized after hanging out with Beth what she is actually like, and cut all ties as well. I have no real problem working with Beth. She makes little chirps here and there directed at me, subliminally of course, because she doesn’t have the nuts to say anything to my face. I brush it off, I don’t let things affect my work. When she realized her tactics aren’t working, she became angry. If she’s talking to someone and I walk in the room, she walks out. So dramatic. People at work are noticing and have came up to me saying she’s being immature and childish, asked me to talk to her to bury the hatchet - Not a chance in hell. It’s not that I can’t get over what she did, it’s the place her actions came from - a very hateful, toxic mindset. Someone I need to stay away from.
Why is she acting like this? It’s been 7 months, move on.
2 years later, new female named Ashley joins our work and friend group. A few months into it, i realized I had feelings for Ashley and decided to pursue her. turns out, she had feelings for me too and we started dating (tried to keep it low key but our body language made it only too obvious to friends).
A couple of things come to mind. You were naive to think that Beth was hateful about everyone but you (or would be hateful toward others but not you). If anyone talks to me about other people in a negative way, the first thing I understand is that they're talking about me, as well. Any trust I had in them is lost at that point.
Second, she sounds possessive and jealous since everything changed once you went from going on casual dates to having a serious relationship. You already know this.
And last, but not least, don't ignore what previous posters are saying. A lot of drama starts at work as a result of people thinking they can be good friends with others. You're seeing that drama unfold now.
Beth is a narcissist. And no, she was never not hateful about you. You just didn't know it. Just like your other friends didn't know she was hateful about them.
And yeah, don't date co-workers. Friends group at work, cool. Dating them? It can work, but when it doesn't it makes work life weird and awkward. You don't need that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
