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One of my best friends was originally a coworker where I lived at the time in Indianapolis. At that point, we obviously saw each other every day. We worked together for about two years, then I found another job, and about six months after that, left that city to go back to my hometown. This was back between 2014-2016. He seemed a little ticked when I left the job and then left a town in a hurry, but I was likely to be fired and financially up against it. I didn't have much time or money. At that point, we were close enough to have keys to each other's house. He had me get a nearly $10,000 engagement ring from a jeweler before he proposed so his fiance wouldn't find it. Close stuff.
I went back to Indianapolis from Tennessee (420 miles) probably four to five times a year the first two years I was back here. I did a long weekend for his wedding back in 2017. I think I did my best coming up there to try and keep the friendship going. Nothing seemed "off" until back in 2019.
Keep in mind this is a guy that was on Facebook often and you could almost always hit him up on Messenger. His last Facebook post that he posted was a picture of him and his late father back in August. His wife and a few other people tagged him in a few things here or there.
I normally come up for a few Colts or Pacers games. No response on Messenger. The messages are delivered but never read. I've called - straight to VM. Texted - iMessages shows as delivered, but never a reply. Wife never responded.
A mutual friend and former colleague of ours was wanting to host a get-together at his farm south of Indy in a few weeks and tonight asked if I heard from Matt because he couldn't get a hold of him. That's what brought it back in my mind. I haven't and none of our mutual friends have.
I'm just befuddled. He's gone from daily Facebook posts a few years to tapering off to nothing. No kids that I know of. Wife has a big job, but no one ever responds.
My first thought since he isn't responding to anyone is illness.
How old is he? Dementia?
Divorce and he isn't ready to talk about it?
He turned 36 last year. Wife is a few years younger. Both have good jobs, but he makes less money and has a lot more flexibility.
I wouldn't be surprised if it's marital. Wife is a manager at a Big 4 accounting firm with a major, major client that she's responsible for. He's six figures himself, but she's well into that and he always complained about her work schedule. Doesn't explain the disappearance from friends and colleagues (all the rest of us are single), but I could see the frustration boiling over some days.
...... A mutual friend and former colleague of ours was wanting to host a get-together at his farm south of Indy in a few weeks and tonight asked if I heard from Matt because he couldn't get a hold of him. That's what brought it back in my mind. I haven't and none of our mutual friends have.
I'm just befuddled. He's gone from daily Facebook posts a few years to tapering off to nothing. No kids that I know of. Wife has a big job, but no one ever responds. .....
Did you or your other mutual friends check obituaries to see if he and/or his wife are still alive? Or check his or his wife's places of employment to find out if they still work there?
Did you or your other mutual friends check obituaries to see if he and/or his wife are still alive? Or check his or his wife's places of employment to find out if they still work there?
.
The husband-in-law is a damn sheriff. If anything happened to him, it would be plastered all over the local news. I read it daily.
I should contact our old boss. I owe him a few. He's been good to me. Last I heard, he is also my friend's boss.
One of my best friends was originally a coworker where I lived at the time in Indianapolis. At that point, we obviously saw each other every day. We worked together for about two years, then I found another job, and about six months after that, left that city to go back to my hometown. This was back between 2014-2016. He seemed a little ticked when I left the job and then left a town in a hurry, but I was likely to be fired and financially up against it. I didn't have much time or money. At that point, we were close enough to have keys to each other's house. He had me get a nearly $10,000 engagement ring from a jeweler before he proposed so his fiance wouldn't find it. Close stuff.
I went back to Indianapolis from Tennessee (420 miles) probably four to five times a year the first two years I was back here. I did a long weekend for his wedding back in 2017. I think I did my best coming up there to try and keep the friendship going. Nothing seemed "off" until back in 2019.
Keep in mind this is a guy that was on Facebook often and you could almost always hit him up on Messenger. His last Facebook post that he posted was a picture of him and his late father back in August. His wife and a few other people tagged him in a few things here or there.
I normally come up for a few Colts or Pacers games. No response on Messenger. The messages are delivered but never read. I've called - straight to VM. Texted - iMessages shows as delivered, but never a reply. Wife never responded.
A mutual friend and former colleague of ours was wanting to host a get-together at his farm south of Indy in a few weeks and tonight asked if I heard from Matt because he couldn't get a hold of him. That's what brought it back in my mind. I haven't and none of our mutual friends have.
I'm just befuddled. He's gone from daily Facebook posts a few years to tapering off to nothing. No kids that I know of. Wife has a big job, but no one ever responds.
Am I correct to read that you haven't seen or heard anything from him, or about him, since the Facebook post last August?
My first thought was maybe he passed away, but as you said, the sheriff would have announced it. So my second guess is he is depressed.... you did say the last post was of his late father.... and depressed people could definitely shy away from their social media.
Since you are/were such good friends, can you contact someone from his family, a person that you feel comfortable with, saying that - 'You were just concerned because you have sent Matt a few messages and had not heard back in several months and so you were just wondering if he was okay?'
To the OP this sounds very strange.
If it was only you then you can consider avoidance but multiple people who know him have had no contact so far?
Hmmm...
Or not feeling in good shape mentally so he is avoiding communication.
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