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My younger sister, myself, and our respective spouses and children went on our first family vacation a few days ago. She lost a lot of weight and looks amazing. I've gained some weight and although I'm not fat by any means, I could stand to lose 20 pounds. Once we arrived, she approached me with a three pack of granny panties saying, "I bought these and they are way too big for me. You want them? I tried on a pair but I'm not sure which one but I washed them so they are clean. Here."
I took them, pretended to be grateful, and immediately decided to throw them away. So many thoughts raced through my mind in that millisecond. Not only was I grossed out, I was insulted. First of all, she implied that I was fat which I'm not. Then there's the gross factor. Who wears someone else's used panties? Then she implied that I'm poor and although she is now better off financially than me, I can certainly afford my own panties! Lastly, granny panties aren't my style. I have always worn thongs and G-strings. We have had detailed conversations about that. So apparently she either doesn't remember my style or doesn't care. Grrr
I wouldn't consider them used.
What's missing from your post is what you said to her, when she gave you the panties. You could have made a joke about it. You could have said "no thanks." You could have said thank you, and taken them. You could have pointed out that they're too big for you, too, but thanks for the thought. What did you say?
I don't know if you should be offended or not, since I don't know your sister, her personality, or your relationship w/her. She might have meant well, or she was just trying to do something with them so as not to throw them away, or maybe it was an insult. I have no way of knowing.
But in the scheme of things, this is a very small thing to be concerned with, IMO.
BTW, if anyone has purchased panties from Victoria's Secret or any other store with "panty tables" or any other display method that's not in a sealed package, there's a very good chance they've been tried on. Yes, I know this from experience because I used to work at VS in college.
That's what I always figure. And I doubt everyone tries underwear on over another pair of underwear, so they always get washed in hot water before being worn.
I actually find it weird to try on underwear, so it's not something Ive ever done. I know my size and I know what brands fit me, so that's what I buy.
There is a lot of background behind my hurt feelings, part of which involved my distress over my quarantine related weight gain and my wife and I going on furlough. We were only able to get the condo through a rock bottom veteran's discount. Her husband is doing very well with his business which has caused her to flaunt their newfound wealth. I'm happy for her, truly, but it's the attitude of smug superiority and the bragging about her money that is bothering me.
Throw them out. If she tries to offer you some other castoff, tell her no thanks.
My younger sister, myself, and our respective spouses and children went on our first family vacation a few days ago. She lost a lot of weight and looks amazing. I've gained some weight and although I'm not fat by any means, I could stand to lose 20 pounds. Once we arrived, she approached me with a three pack of granny panties saying, "I bought these and they are way too big for me. You want them? I tried on a pair but I'm not sure which one but I washed them so they are clean. Here."
I took them, pretended to be grateful, and immediately decided to throw them away. So many thoughts raced through my mind in that millisecond. Not only was I grossed out, I was insulted. First of all, she implied that I was fat which I'm not. Then there's the gross factor. Who wears someone else's used panties? Then she implied that I'm poor and although she is now better off financially than me, I can certainly afford my own panties! Lastly, granny panties aren't my style. I have always worn thongs and G-strings. We have had detailed conversations about that. So apparently she either doesn't remember my style or doesn't care. Grrr
Why didn't you just tell her you don't wear that type and be done with it? That's what I would have done.
Sounds like they were still in the package. I would have donated them to a women's shelter, church or other local charity. I'm sure that someone else could have used them.
Loose weight and then offer her a pack of g strings. Seriously, if it bothered you why didn't you just say "Thanks but they're not my style".
That does seem like the simplest and most obvious response, doesn't it? However, there's some emotional baggage packed up in the situation IRT the OP's pandemic pounds and her sister's "flaunting" of her newfound wealth.
That's pretty gross OP. The only thing I would've done differently was to immediately tell her "Um, no thanks. I'm sure the underwear are fine, but I'm not wearing your underwear sis. I don't care if they're new or not!" and then laugh at her, walk away shaking your head.
Instead of taking offense at her crap, just laugh it off. It's unsettling for the other person especially if they had mean intentions. It does sound like there's a bit of rivalry between you two.
My younger sister, myself, and our respective spouses and children went on our first family vacation a few days ago. She lost a lot of weight and looks amazing. I've gained some weight and although I'm not fat by any means, I could stand to lose 20 pounds. Once we arrived, she approached me with a three pack of granny panties saying, "I bought these and they are way too big for me. You want them? I tried on a pair but I'm not sure which one but I washed them so they are clean. Here."
I took them, pretended to be grateful, and immediately decided to throw them away. So many thoughts raced through my mind in that millisecond. Not only was I grossed out, I was insulted. First of all, she implied that I was fat which I'm not. Then there's the gross factor. Who wears someone else's used panties? Then she implied that I'm poor and although she is now better off financially than me, I can certainly afford my own panties! Lastly, granny panties aren't my style. I have always worn thongs and G-strings. We have had detailed conversations about that. So apparently she either doesn't remember my style or doesn't care. Grrr
Rather than stew about it here, why didn't you simply laugh it off at the moment and say, "What? I don't want your used underwear" and then change the subject?
Second, you're insulted because you are choosing to be insulted.
I just don't understand some of these questions on here. Things like this just aren't that hard.
Rather than stew about it here, why didn't you simply laugh it off at the moment and say, "What? I don't want your used underwear" and then change the subject?
Second, you're insulted because you are choosing to be insulted.
I just don't understand some of these questions on here. Things like this just aren't that hard.
I'm baffled by many of the questions on here, as well. You're in a relationship with this person - you know what you're feeling - find your words and use them.
How do people navigate life without being able to handle simple communication with those closest to them?
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