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Because his father will say idiotic and bothersome things. The OP would be inviting his father to criticize his masculinity. No way I would ask that.
I think what is bothering the OP is that his father is questioning his masculinity based on some version of his own masculinity. He is basically saying that he does not like certain parts about his son. Yeah, that is bothersome.
OP should just say: Yo Pops I was in the kitchen with the women because I was trying to get some.
This. His father isn’t going to give real suggestions, but will rather reinforce his own biases.
I’m bisexual. I don’t think I give off “gay vibes,” but I’m a heavier set guy who has also lifted weights for years. I’ve had women just assume that I’m gay in the past. I also tend to attract gay men more than women.
If his father is “picking it up,” it is likely the guy is at least bisexual subconsciously.
Some of you are a really tough crowd.
Dad's comment doesn't say anything about the OP, it says something about dad.
My interpretation is the bully curmudgeon that is ticked off that his son didn't follow in his footsteps and watch football and slap each other on the thigh, swear, drink beer, burp and fart.
Dad felt rejected, as simple as that.
Everyone was pretty much split into three groups. The women were all gossiping in the kitchen, the men were in the living room watching football, and the kids were all playing down in the basement. I didn't want to go in the basement because I didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of obnoxious screaming children, and I didn't go into the living room for the same reason. I settled on going into the kitchen with the women and in a matter of minutes, I was completely hooked and 100% on board with their gossip.
Sorry you are having to deal with this.
Hopefully your dad can get over his erroneous stereotypes about what it means to be a man, and how important it is to love your child. It may take time and patience.
This past Sunday, me and my family went to my aunt and uncle's house to celebrate my great grandpa's 99th birthday. A whole bunch of people from my dad's side of the family arrived and after all of the usual birthday festivities, there was some downtime for everyone to just hang out around the house. I'm more intoverted than most people in my family, so I just sat outside on the back porch. But I did feel a little awkward about just sitting out there by myself, so I decided to go inside and mingle.
Everyone was pretty much split into three groups. The women were all gossiping in the kitchen, the men were in the living room watching football, and the kids were all playing down in the basement. I didn't want to go in the basement because I didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of obnoxious screaming children, and I didn't go into the living room for the same reason. I settled on going into the kitchen with the women and in a matter of minutes, I was completely hooked and 100% on board with their gossip.
These women knew all of the juicy info on people in town. They knew who the cheaters were, which relationships had the most drama, and which people had shady criminal backgrounds. One of my cousins had just started talking about her emotionally abusive boyfriend and my dad walked in right as I said to my cousin "Girl, you can do so much better than him." To him, it probably looked really weird to see his 23 year old son holding a glass of wine and gossiping with a group of women.
In the past few days since then, my dad has been on me about my sexuality. He's been randomly asking me what I think of women and I don't know how to respond to that. On Monday, he kept pressing me to name which female celebrities I think are the most attractive, and yesterday he barged into my room and asked me if I'm gay. When I told him no, I could see it in his face that he didn't believe me and then he left without another word.
I can't help but worry about this. My dad isn't exactly the most progressive guy in the world and I fear that he may even kick me out if he genuinely thinks that I'm gay. He once grounded me when I told him that I don't like sports, so I can only imagine what he'll do if he thinks I'm gay. How do I handle this?
Get some porno and scatter it around your bedroom. Then move out of the damn house. You're 23 grow up.
Some of you are a really tough crowd.
Dad's comment doesn't say anything about the OP, it says something about dad.
My interpretation is the bully curmudgeon that is ticked off that his son didn't follow in his footsteps and watch football and slap each other on the thigh, swear, drink beer, burp and fart.
Dad felt rejected, as simple as that.
That's how I'm reading it. It's all about his dad. I still stand by that his dad is a closeted gay man, but something in his childhood (doesn't have to be his dad, but it could have been his mom or grandfather or society at the time) made him not accept himself as he is. His macho behaviour, ie watching football, grunting with other men, is very stereotypical of men. People who are unhappy with their sexuality or inner core often mimic the stereotypes.
OP, your grandparents might not have given off a vibe because grandparents treat their grandchildren differently than how they treated their children. It could also have been society at the time - my mom has one gay friend in Illinois and he never felt comfortable with coming out, he doesn't date either. Although he's never come out, people just know who he is. Society is more accepting of LGBTQ, sometimes the A (though acephobia is a thing still) than it was even 30 years ago.
Hopefully your dad can get over his erroneous stereotypes about what it means to be a man, and how important it is to love your child. It may take time and patience.
I don't know a lot of straight men that would be sipping wine in the kitchen gossiping with the women. Most men would think it was a stupid thing to be doing and literally could not care less about what people they have never met were doing (gossip).
Kinda like saying going to a gay bar doesn't mean you're gay. But ... why else would the MAJORITY of the folks be going? Because they are gay and they want to go to a gay bar.
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