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Old 04-04-2021, 07:41 AM
 
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You can't change whats already been done in the past, but maybe in the future be a bit more cautious with this person. Shouldnt be that difficult to find out what this persons needs will be. Contacting their doctor is a good idea, to find out what after care will be needed for whatever the "illness/surgery of the week" is.

 
Old 04-04-2021, 08:15 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
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OP, the key is probably the "mental health/substance abuse" part. Assuming those conditions are real, it would explain the rest, wouldn't it? IOW, why would you expect rational, honest behavior from someone with mental health and substance abuse issues?

The other question is, why can't this individual pay for some part-time home health care for the 2-3 week recovery time? Why would he need to be driven around anywhere, during the first couple of weeks? Is this a culture, where relatives are expected to rally around and help out, rather than each person being self-sufficient to the extent possible? If so, that really opens the door to exactly the kind of thing you're experiencing.
 
Old 04-04-2021, 10:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
The other question is, why can't this individual pay for some part-time home health care for the 2-3 week recovery time? Why would he need to be driven around anywhere, during the first couple of weeks? Is this a culture, where relatives are expected to rally around and help out, rather than each person being self-sufficient to the extent possible? If so, that really opens the door to exactly the kind of thing you're experiencing.
Home health care is VERY expensive, and not even available in some areas. One of my first volunteer positions at our local hospital involved helping out the nurse who gave the pre-operative joint replacement seminar, and she was constantly lamenting the lack of options for such care in our area, which has a population of 175,000.

And as far as relatives helping out, my brother has had two heart valve replacements, and I've traveled to the other side of the country twice to help for a few days after he comes home from the hospital because his wife has what is probably a full-blown anxiety disorder, which renders her incapable of staying calm and doing things that need to be done. I am happy to help out to make his recoveries easier for both him AND her. I guess helping people is just in my nature, thus all the volunteer work I do at the hospital, including sitting with dying patients who have no relatives nearby or whose families need a break from being there all day. There is nothing wrong with needing support at difficult times - it's not always possible to be "self-sufficient."

However, if I had any inkling there was fake illness attention-seeking going on, I would withdraw my availability in a heartbeat.
 
Old 04-04-2021, 01:35 PM
 
17,386 posts, read 13,117,049 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Long story short we have a relative who seems to have a major medical issue annually. It ranges from mental health/substance abuse to things like a hip replacement. This person is in their 60s and appears fit. Runs, swims, not overweight. But there's always some kind of problem. Family narrative had been that this individual is just "unlucky."

Whenever these issues occur, lots of attention is paid to this individual and people try to help out and visit. In the case of the hip replacement another family member took a few weeks off of work expecting to drive this person around and help around the house. Instead the "immobile " individual was driving in 2.5 weeks and wanted to go out to restaurants and events. This incident prompted some digging into what had actually happened surgically that lead to the realization that several of the procedures the "sick" relative claimed to have on the last 5 years were either totally made up or a less extreme/elective version of what actually happened.

Several family members want to confront this individual about what is really going on. We have all rearranged plans or traveled to help on various occasions and it now looks like we have been had. There's a lot of anger. Clearly this is attention seeking behavior and definite mental health involvement.

Have you heard if anyone doing this? How would you handle the conversation going forward?

An attention seeking hypochondriac????


You might get some more insightful answers over in the Psychology Forum
 
Old 04-04-2021, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Dessert
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Any doctor who gives out health information about a patient could (and maybe should) lose their license.

So how are you finding out what she had done?
 
Old 04-04-2021, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
19,374 posts, read 27,616,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
You can't change whats already been done in the past, but maybe in the future be a bit more cautious with this person. Shouldnt be that difficult to find out what this persons needs will be. Contacting their doctor is a good idea, to find out what after care will be needed for whatever the "illness/surgery of the week" is.
Due to HIPPA restrictions, no doctor is going to discuss another person's medical treatment without a signed release from the patient.

Mod cut.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-04-2021 at 08:17 PM.. Reason: Rude and off-topic.
 
Old 04-04-2021, 02:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
Due to HIPPA restrictions, no doctor is going to discuss another person's medical treatment without a signed release from the patient.

That's also one of the reasons I'm finding this entire story hard to swallow.
Thats right. So get a signed release from the patient. If she isnt willing to do that, then they have their answer as to whether this is real or not.
 
Old 04-04-2021, 04:04 PM
 
6,503 posts, read 3,393,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
Any doctor who gives out health information about a patient could (and maybe should) lose their license.

So how are you finding out what she had done?
Your statements imply that punishments always deter violations of patient privacy laws
 
Old 04-04-2021, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Dessert
10,835 posts, read 7,224,770 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ddm2k View Post
Your statements imply that punishments always deter violations of patient privacy laws
No, I'm asking how OP (and one or two other posters) got the information.
 
Old 04-04-2021, 05:52 PM
 
50,192 posts, read 35,868,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
Thats right. So get a signed release from the patient. If she isnt willing to do that, then they have their answer as to whether this is real or not.
Why on earth would anyone be willing to do that??? Even if it was signed, they don't just hand over records, they'd have to go to the hospital business office and fill out a request for records then wait days or weeks for them. It seems ridiculous. Just ask to see her surgery scar if they don't believe her. But OP states they already "investigated" her health records and a number of us are skeptical that they would be able to do that, and thus skeptical that OP really has any evidence that the relative is making things up.
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