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That's very true, and also there are those who demonize others who don't agree with them for whatever reason. I'm thinking of certain religious people, for example. There is just no way they are going to be convinced that there is another way that is correct other than theirs.
What is irksome is the propaganda that people take as gospel because they don't take the time to listen, reflect, seek out more, reflect again and perhaps see a different point of view. And God forbid, deal with relatives, friends and co-workers who expect them to believe a certain way. When they are proven wrong, instead of saying thanks I learned something they dig in and vehemently deny the truth and often engage in ad hominem attacks. At that point things have gone completely off the rails and it is so frustrating. Until we learn to take it in stride, of course.
Yes, I have dealt with that, i.e., at church. I get the distinct feeling that I'm supposed to fit their idea of what a Christian is, and a Catholic or a Protestant is. I'm very uncomfortable with that. I'm supposed to vote a certain way, behave a certain way, abhor certain cultural customs, strictly follow others, and so on.
Sometimes I laught to myself because I'm what I call a medium. All my life: medium shoe size, medium dress size, medium height. Medium, medium, medium! Always picked over at the department or shoe store. Got so tired of it!
Never occurred to me until now that that includes my belief system! I do have strong views and feelings but I'm not a mouth foamer.
Too many people subscribe to tribalism these days. It's as if the entire Enlightenment has been cleansed from our collective minds and we are only concerned with the groups and tribes with which we agree.
My question, which I've been thinking about for a while now refers to things that are a controversial subject nowadays - which is almost everything!
Do you ever feel like you don't belong to "either" group or side?
For example, I converted to Catholicism a few years ago, but was raised a Protestant (Presbyterian). I see value in both. I like both. I attend both churches when I feel like it and I don't discuss it with anyone. Not into debating about it. It's personal. Back when I was still discussing it, both my Catholic and Protestant friends expressed that what I am doing is wrong. They are entitled their opinion, but don't try to convince me!
I have other opinions on things like politics, pro-life/pro-choice, climate change, carnivore/vegan, welfare, children being raised as their opposite sex, education, etc. I have friends on both sides of the political and religious spectrum. I love them all, but often I feel like I don't belong to either group because I don't fit in on either side on every issue all of the time. Seems like that's the current general state of most people: being fully one way or the other. I could be wrong.
That's why I no longer like to get into conversations about these things. It's just too much of a hot button and it doesn't solve anything. I'd rather focus on other things. Thankfully, there are still some areas of life that are non-controversial and not polarized.
I am very conservative on some things, and very liberal on others. What happens for me is that I just end up nodding when I'm at a friend's house and a particular show is on, or a particular subject comes up in conversation. These things are highly subjective and personal to everyone and I just don't have the energy to get into debates.
Both sides think I agree with them, even when I don't.
I don't see any other way to handle this with friends, acquaintances and family except to keep on doing what I'm doing, but I'm certainly open to suggestions.
Anyone else feel like this?
Yes. There's always somebody trying to persuade me this way or that on some subject and there's people that get hot headed when I don't agree with them. I make no apologies for the views I hold. I don't claim to be superior than if people want to get upset they could get upset that's really their business. I tried to approaching the subjects as though you don't have any personal stake in them makes it easier even if you do just keep that out of it
George Carlin had a real gift, one that allowed the truth to come through his comedic observations.
“The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you.”
I've shunned most organized activities just because too many of the participants seem heavily invested in their notions of the collective power they represent. Politics, religion, education, and sports, are the most common bastions of absolute certainty, and within those facets of US life you'll find some of the most overbearing people who just know they're right--about everything. In that environment, giving one's voice to an opposing thought may just result in one's becoming a pariah to the rest.
We can have our own opinions, our own take on things, but seldom if ever within the group. It's very refreshing to realize that--to the extent that we ultimately leave the group in order to have peace in our lives.
If the majority in a group you're in believe you need to be a certain way and if you can't comfortably keep your opinions to yourself, then, yes, you either need to disband from that group or be open to do only any community service events they do only.
If there are only a few people, you know to keep your distance from said people.
I think you can find groups that you will be welcomed enough in- maybe just not the one(s) you are in currently.
Well, I keep a distance from people at my church because the minute they step out of the chapel they're b*tching about politics. You'd think they were at a restaurant or some other gathering they way they bang on about stuff. Why bother going to church at all? It's really off putting and I don't want to hear it. Totally breaks the mood. And I'm not going to go along with the majority just because I go to the same church.
Yeah, I know, stop going to that church... yada yada. Truth is, too many of them are like that nowadays. I don't actually have to go to church to worship or pray, so there's that.
I don't know how it started but I know by my Senior year in high school I never seemed to fit 100% anywhere, there was always SOMETHING I'd say or do that let everyone know I wasn't fully one of them. At the same time I fit enough that I was rarely challenged. As adult it's just an automatic thing if I'm talking with more than 3 people about something I always play devils advocate or the voice of reason. I like that people can't figure me out, and everyone who knows me has to deal with this quirk of mine because I'm so darn nice! LOL! It a really good tactic to shut down conversations that I already know won't go anywhere, especially with people who just repeat talking points or spew witty quips in an attempt to appear knowledgeable. That's the majority of people btw.
True. It's just that I don't hear people saying things like what I've said in this thread.
I would think more people feel like I do and outwardly express it.
Instead I experience people being vehemently, adamantly, violently for one side or the other with no middle ground, no leniency, no understanding.
You won't have heard that from me.
I'm Switzerland.
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