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Old 05-28-2008, 09:41 PM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,656,049 times
Reputation: 1464

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
This seems to be as common of a diagnose as the flu nowadays. I'm pretty sure that half of us can get it should we care to go see a good Doc... It's very much like that ADD BS. Let's stuff the kids with Ritalin because they dare be kids...
I do agree with you and it is very frustrating. Truth is only 1% of the population have BP disorder.
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:46 PM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,656,049 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roaddog View Post
I wouldn't walk on egg shells for them, in only encourages them to act out even more, you can be a friend but I would show her you will stand up for yourself and won't accept attacks. You only make her worst if you let her get away with it.
Yes, I think you are right. I have let her get away with a lot and stuff I wouldn't even let a guy get away with (we all know how some women have a tendency to cut men slack, for whatever reason).

I've issued invitations that have gone without any response thinking oh she is just depressed, yet she always had time for her BF. I think I will issue one more and if she blows me off again or doesn't answer "because she is too depressed" then I will have to move on, as it were.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:20 AM
 
2,546 posts, read 6,330,797 times
Reputation: 1996
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
I am wondering how to deal with this friend I have who suffers from severe depression. I find myself taking the things she does personally, which may or may not be true. At any rate, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells lest she go off on me. I do try to understand but sometimes I really feel like she uses the depression to be irresponsible, cancel at the last minute or just be rude. Thoughts?
I know how your friend feels- I have severe depression myself.
I'm always late to everything.
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Old 04-15-2016, 04:45 PM
 
Location: South Yorkshire, UK
6 posts, read 3,958 times
Reputation: 10
To Hatetheheat01

I couldnt agree more - depression will, in its darkest days (we all get them) make you do and say things that you instantly regret, but cannot help. In less dark days we all remember what we said but feel awkward trying to appologise because we may do and say similar things on our darker days. True friends just accept that we are what we are and know that we love them its just that depression will get in the way. Hang in there, when we are in a good place we will try to make up for what we have said or done.
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Old 04-15-2016, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
11,072 posts, read 9,378,113 times
Reputation: 16109
I say tough love. Help them work out a therapy schedule and stick to it, or get them out of your life. If one is not willing to help themselves, get them out of your life.
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Old 04-15-2016, 05:14 PM
 
13,618 posts, read 22,188,999 times
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The OP was written 8 years ago.
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Old 04-16-2016, 06:31 AM
 
1,046 posts, read 1,240,423 times
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If she is on medication she may not be responsible for her actions.

I have a friend on medication who is a zombie, literally he is the walking dead. Doesn't speak, cannot answer a simple question.
it is very sad.
but the only way he would get better would be to get off the brain-damaging drugs he is taking, and he is not about to do that.

I stayed with him, supporting him, asking him out for walks, etc, for a few years, but I no longer can.
I cannot abide to see a human being reduced to such a state.



Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Yes, she is on medication but isn't very good at keeping appts with therapists. She does have insurance. Again, I end up thinking she is using the depression as an excuse, which is probably not fair of me. I just don't cancel Dr. appts at the last minute, as she does. It seems disrespectful to me to not give a therapist or Dr. 24 hours notice - at least.
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Old 04-16-2016, 06:44 AM
 
1,046 posts, read 1,240,423 times
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yeah...bec. these "diagnoses" mean anything.


Quote:
Originally Posted by newbie too View Post
Are you sure she isn't bipolar? The "walking on eggshells" and her sudden snaps at you sound bipolar. If so, antidepressants can make it worse. my soon to be ex was misdiagnosed with depression and now they say he's bipolar.
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Old 04-16-2016, 06:45 AM
 
99 posts, read 71,350 times
Reputation: 305
I think with mentally ill people the best thing to do is set boundaries and stick to them. Don't let her drama and personal issues drag you down. Know when you've had enough, and don't let her mistreat you. You have to protect yourself.
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:18 AM
Status: "Tell your loved ones you love them." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Wonderland
54,474 posts, read 42,652,770 times
Reputation: 75936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
If a friendship isn't satisfying for whatever reason, don't feel guilty about cutting back on it, or dropping it. Just because someone's ill (mentally or physically) doesn't mean you have to put up with more crap than you would from any other friendship.

Also be honest about your own behavior and attitudes towards your friend: if you're trying to fix her, or change her, or cure her, or trying to get her to get help, or to get well, that is care-taking and not healthy behavior on your part. It is useful information for you though to watch and observe and take note of how you do relationship.
We have a winner.

There's a difference between being mentally ill and acting crazy. A person who is mentally ill isn't responsible for their illness, but they ARE responsible for their treatment and their own actions. I mean, think about it - if a person has, say, cystic fibrosis - they didn't cause this but they are still responsible for taking their own meds, and keeping their own appointments, and living a lifestyle that is healthy rather than unhealthy.

Your friend has those responsibilities as well. I know mentally ill people who don't act "crazy," and it's because they take their meds and keep their appointments with their therapists, and they accept responsibility for their actions and the relationships in their lives.

In spite of her mental illness, you have the right and responsibility to establish healthy parameters and for there to be consequences when she oversteps your healthy boundaries. You do not "owe" her the right to mistreat you or the friendship.

Also, as the above poster stated - you can't fix her, change her or cure her so don't even try. And if you find yourself giving her advice that she never takes, then pull back. Way back.
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