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Old 04-23-2009, 08:14 AM
 
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Many people I know who have tons of friends are always telling me that they spend alot of time going to funerals and wakes (at Funeral Homes). I state that that must be miserable going to all those funerals. Many people give me a surprising answer. They say that they in fact like going to funeral homes, and the actual funeral at the church. They will miss the actual friend who has died but love the social aspect of their friends who die. They say it is the first chance that they have to gather so many people in one room and it is all like a big party.

If you are social do you like funerals and wakes?
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:34 AM
 
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i will go to funerals but i don't consider them fun
for a lot of people though, they are a big social occasion, chance to gossip, free food, so many people consider it just another occasion to party

i'm not in that category
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:44 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,227 posts, read 14,965,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
Many people I know who have tons of friends are always telling me that they spend alot of time going to funerals and wakes (at Funeral Homes). I state that that must be miserable going to all those funerals. Many people give me a surprising answer. They say that they in fact like going to funeral homes, and the actual funeral at the church. They will miss the actual friend who has died but love the social aspect of their friends who die. They say it is the first chance that they have to gather so many people in one room and it is all like a big party.


Quote:
If you are social do you like funerals and wakes?
No. Those who are actually social don't need funerals and wakes to be so.
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:52 AM
 
898 posts, read 1,390,606 times
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I'm finding that I'm one of those people. I just had two relatives die within a short distance of each other and both times the get together after the funeral was a joyous occasion. It's not about the food but about the mingling.
The first relative was my cousin who got married not too long ago and my family got to hang out with her husband's family for the first time since the wedding and this time we actually sat around and talked to each other instead of each family sticking together like at the wedding. This time, we actually got to know each other. It's sad that it took her death for that to finally happen but they lived very far so we never really saw her and her husband unless they came into town to visit.

The second relative was my grandmother and even at the funeral the crowd was very much alive with laughter. There were plenty of people who cried (almost everyone when they first came in) but once the initial shock of seeing her in the coffin passed, everyone enjoyed telling or hearing a funny story about her. I was glad that there was laughter there since my grandmother was an extremely fun (and funny) lady who loved to entertain. Just like in life, she brought the entire family together with her death. There were relatives there that I hadn't seen since I was a child. I got to say goodbye to her before she died so I guess that's why I was able to be cheerful at the funeral but that's not always the case.

For my wife's parents' funerals (they died within a couple of years of one another) there was only laughter at the get togethers and my wife and her siblings weren't too happy with the people who obviously showed up just for the food. There were even some people who missed the wakes and the funerals but somehow managed to make it to the event with the food. That's just rude IMO.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,582 posts, read 37,788,845 times
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Ummm, no. If I want to have a big get together with all my friends, I just throw a party. If there's no occasion, such as a holiday, birthday, anniversary, or whatever, then I make something up or just have a "Just Because" party. I actually like it when my friends are still living.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,582 posts, read 37,788,845 times
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Just as an aside - I think we have our new Dingler, folks!
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:18 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,227 posts, read 14,965,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatmancomics View Post
I'm finding that I'm one of those people. I just had two relatives die within a short distance of each other and both times the get together after the funeral was a joyous occasion. It's not about the food but about the mingling.
The first relative was my cousin who got married not too long ago and my family got to hang out with her husband's family for the first time since the wedding and this time we actually sat around and talked to each other instead of each family sticking together like at the wedding. This time, we actually got to know each other. It's sad that it took her death for that to finally happen but they lived very far so we never really saw her and her husband unless they came into town to visit.

The second relative was my grandmother and even at the funeral the crowd was very much alive with laughter. There were plenty of people who cried (almost everyone when they first came in) but once the initial shock of seeing her in the coffin passed, everyone enjoyed telling or hearing a funny story about her. I was glad that there was laughter there since my grandmother was an extremely fun (and funny) lady who loved to entertain. Just like in life, she brought the entire family together with her death. There were relatives there that I hadn't seen since I was a child. I got to say goodbye to her before she died so I guess that's why I was able to be cheerful at the funeral but that's not always the case.

For my wife's parents' funerals (they died within a couple of years of one another) there was only laughter at the get togethers and my wife and her siblings weren't too happy with the people who obviously showed up just for the food. There were even some people who missed the wakes and the funerals but somehow managed to make it to the event with the food. That's just rude IMO.
I think there is a big difference between someone who likes going to funerals and wakes and feeling gratitude for the positive, happier moments while you're there. I just can't wrap my head around it being a social "event".
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 17,891,887 times
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as someone who comes from a HUGE family, I can tell you I have been to my share of funerals and expect more to follow.
The socializing should be kept to a minimum at the funeral parlor and saved for the get-together afterwards.
Bugs me when people stand around the coffin laughing it up. Seems disrespectful to me.
I'm very spiritual and believe the afterlife will be a heck of a lot happier and better than this earth one; but the deceased are entitled to some respect while being viewed.
I did have an occasion though to attend a "Celebration of Life" for one of my high school friend's sons. he was a 19 year old college kid and killed on his way home for a week-end. My friend wanted to celebrate his life,rather than focus on his death. At least everyone had a heads up as to what was expected beforehand.
I don't want a funeral; plan to be cremated, then my friends and family can have a tell all partyfestthat celebrates my life.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,411 posts, read 18,708,991 times
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Wow, what kind of f***ed up social life do you need to have to enjoy funerals? I understand it's nice to see people you haven't seen in awhile (seems some friends and family you only see during weddings and funerals), but I can think of more upbeat occasions to get together and talk about the good old days. Can't tell you how many times I've seen long lost relatives at funerals with the promise that we must get together some time and then it never happens. I guess it was just meant to be that way because if you want to see someone badly enough you will.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,739 posts, read 32,827,904 times
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My Father died in 1999 in September. In early 2000, a friend of the family died and I went to the funeral. It was like reliving my Fathers funeral all over again.

I don't do funerals anymore.
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