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Old 06-26-2009, 01:30 PM
 
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Old Friends from years past tend to drift apart as we move to new cities or change, but with email and FaceBook, etc, lots of people re connect. Have you ever reconnected with someone who you use to be really close with after 10-15-20 or more years? Maybe they live out of town and finally make the trip to your town and stay at your house.

How was the experience? Was the chemistry and magic you once had gone? How do you handle it if they plan to stay a long time and you determine right away there is no connection, no magic, no chemistry?
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Old 06-26-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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I was in the other person's position. I hadn't seen my friend in over a year. Finally went out to visit and it wasn't what I had hoped for. The chemistry wasn't right. My friend was acting different than I remembered. But the trip was short. I never saw that friend ever again and now no longer talk. People change and sometimes when you haven't seen someone in a long time, you get your hopes up only to end up disappointed.
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Old 06-26-2009, 02:15 PM
 
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That has happened to me making friends with people from overseas that came to work here in the USA and that I worked with and lived with for a winter or several winters. Visiting them overseas when they are back in their local environment I've always found them to be very different and sometimes the chemistry is gone. I've had that happen with girls I've casually dated as well.

I've had very few friends where the relationship has stayed constant whether separated by new jobs or across oceans.
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Old 06-26-2009, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Fiji
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yeah, I've had that happen before with old high school friends. I guess myself and they both have changed and developed over the years and just don't have as much in common or value the same things anymore. Or, we're at different points in our lives and have trouble relating.

As for me, I am NOT the same person I was in high school.
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Old 06-26-2009, 10:36 PM
 
3,440 posts, read 7,507,474 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
Old Friends from years past tend to drift apart as we move to new cities or change, but with email and FaceBook, etc, lots of people re connect. Have you ever reconnected with someone who you use to be really close with after 10-15-20 or more years? Maybe they live out of town and finally make the trip to your town and stay at your house.

How was the experience? Was the chemistry and magic you once had gone? How do you handle it if they plan to stay a long time and you determine right away there is no connection, no magic, no chemistry?


Yes, I have tried to connect with people who I once knew but it's not the same so I have officially given up on trying to reconnect with these people who are now in fact zombies.

As far as I'm concerned, I find that the most inner and innocent part of people is systemically striped away relative to the amount of time they spend in the dog eat dog world.

Also, once people operate in the dog eat dog world I find that people allow there complete value system to be changed. For example, in the old days, if I saw somebody who I haven't seen in a while it was as simple as "whats up, lets hang out!" and it was real, versus today, it's "so what do you do for a living?" "Where do you live?" "How is business?" which are all standard procedures to size me up in there mind to see how much I'm worth and to figure out if they are ahead or behind relative to my position in life.

http://theurbanloft.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/rk-028-the-food-chain.jpg (broken link)
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Old 06-27-2009, 03:15 AM
 
11,510 posts, read 12,086,057 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
How do you handle it if they plan to stay a long time and you determine right away there is no connection, no magic, no chemistry?
You could tell them that theres a hotel down the road.

Its your house, so you would basically thank them for visiting and tell them you have family coming in and that you need them to be gone by yesterday. They are practically strangers and they're using you anyway, so you might as well lay it on the line . They have been rude to you and they need to go. Otherwise they will stay and make your life miserable slowly.
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Old 02-03-2014, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Missouri
592 posts, read 713,034 times
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Been through this before. It kinda sucks, because you always remember the good times..but life goes on.
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
7,926 posts, read 6,283,889 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
You could tell them that theres a hotel down the road.

Its your house, so you would basically thank them for visiting and tell them you have family coming in and that you need them to be gone by yesterday. They are practically strangers and they're using you anyway, so you might as well lay it on the line . They have been rude to you and they need to go. Otherwise they will stay and make your life miserable slowly.
No one said they were rude. And if they've made a long trip to visit YOU, it would be pretty rude to send them away after you've told them they could stay with you. Unless they really act rude or strange (walking around naked, or getting black out drunk, for example), I am not going to kick them out.
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:13 AM
 
5,699 posts, read 17,410,168 times
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Yes, this happened after I moved away. I actually started to feel it 6 months after I left. I didnt move that far away so I have the option to go home and visit often. I met a friend for lunch and it felt awkward right away. Just in that 6 months so much of our lives had changed. I was trying to get used to where I moved to and I guess she got used to me not being there anymore. She wasn't very supportive of my move in the first place so she didnt really want to here what was going on in my life anymore.

She changed jobs and never mentioned it. I already started to feel cut out even though we talked on the phone, have each other on FB etc. Now I've been gone much longer and most of the people I used to talk to back home have faded away. Not sure how it would feel if I moved back. Some can pick up where they left off and others felt moving back home was a huge mistake.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:11 PM
 
Location: CO
2,454 posts, read 2,963,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
No one said they were rude. And if they've made a long trip to visit YOU, it would be pretty rude to send them away after you've told them they could stay with you. Unless they really act rude or strange (walking around naked, or getting black out drunk, for example), I am not going to kick them out.

Blackout drunk, ha ha! Yeah, that would be a good reason!
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