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Sci1, I am fascinated by someone who would make such a huge move, change his/her mind and then go back to where they came from. Other than moves for jobs (first with my dad, then my husband) I have stayed where I was planted. That will change for the first time when my husband and I retire and move to North Carolina. I have been researching this prospective move for years because I can't even conceive of changing my mind once we get settled in a new home. There won't be much about our new city/town that I don't know by the time we make the move so I have to ask what manner of research did you do before making this move? Did you make several visits there to get the feel of the community or did you just move...? We are visiting at different times of the year to get a sense of the climate and we are seeking out opportunities to get to meet the "natives" by looking for and attending events, eating in a variety of restaurants, going to church (so sue me, I go), visiting wine stores and talking to employees and customers because that is a biggie for us and even staying in bed and breakfasts to get a real personal look from the inside. All these things have helped us form a pretty clear picture of what we can expect so this will be a very informed move for us. Did you do any of these things or similar ones to know what you were getting yourselves into? I am not being critical but only thinking that you would have saved yourselves a lot of grief and money by doing the research. I wish you well in your return to the west but it may just be true that you can't go home again...
We actually are not going to Oregon but AZ, my husband has recieved a great job offer, we were not going to move before he got this offer, but when we had talked about the kids not being happy it seemed like the right thing to do. We visited the state several times and he even moved before we did, we did internet research which is a poor substitute for living anywhere for any length of time. We we visited but we didnt really have a chance to drive up to neighborhoods knock on peoples doors and ask how they would recieve us, we did the resturant thing while visiting and met a few people,but you dont really get a feel of living anywhere just by visits alone, it takes time to make discoveries, we did it for 2 years. I had no problem with the climate and understood it is higher cost of living tax wise, all this we knew and understood, it is the complete change of lifestyle you think you want and dont realize you dont want after you have settled in, some people do some dont. I wasnt being trying to be rude about the church thing ( so sue me I dont go) just that not everyone goes and people shouldnt treat you differntly because we dont. People really need to not get their panties in a bunch when people want to leave a place they want to move to, it is just the differences in people, which I happen to believe is a good thing. I am not bashing NC it is a great place for many people but not all, I believe it is a beautiful state.
Sorry it didn't work out for you in NC. It's a shame you were treated so poorly by your neighbors, especially for your 13-year old. I hope he doesn't think those people represent all Christians.
Good luck with the move!
I did not mean to imply that your lack of church attendance in any way was a part of this issue. Most of our friends and even my daughter and sister do not go so that is a non-issue for me. I am just trying to understand what it was that disappointed you or just wasn't what you expected.
It was just the way some ( not all) treated us, mostly my kids, other kids excluding them from things, not inviting us to the neighborhood summer parties, not all people were like this though, it was also alot slower paced than we liked, my kids just were not happy, so we decided it is time to go, I dont resent anyone
it is just the way some people are, we did make some friends, funny though they are from california, texas and Minnesota, that are considering leaving as well, and some that had to stay. Although my next door neighbors were natives and they were very nice.
If you truly want to change your lifestyle-get to know your neighbors, smile at people in the street, have conversation with people you meet at the store, get involved in your community, in your church, in your children's schools-then this might very well be the place for you...
One more thing-do not let anyone tell you differently. Religion is HUGE here. Most people are very involved in church and you will be asked on more than a few occasions if you've found a place of worship yet. If do attend church regularly, you'll find the transition to be easier...
Hope that input helps just a little! I've only been here for a little over 2 months, but I feel like it's always been home. Good luck to anyone making the decision!
NCMom - you did a terrific job with your description of life in NC! I learned so much. NC is a place I've wanted to check out for a long time, mostly the Raleigh suburbs, and frankly your description enhances my interest! NC does sound like a place I'd enjoy.
Finding a church will be tops on my list when we settle into a new home someday. I would welcome someone offering to point me to the United Methodist Church (me), and the Catholic Church (DH). I don't hold someone's church attendance to be a criteria for whether or not I like a person, I just like church!
Congratulations to you for finding a place that "feels like home!" That is wonderful, and I hope to feel that way someday too!
Hi Adream!
You won't have a problem finding a place to worship. You could pretty much "church shop" for 6 months and not run out of churches to visit! I sent you a pm.
[quote=Prichard;108064]
I would add that Southern children are much better behaved and far more respectful than Northern children. It is true, parents do not discipline their children by screaming at them from across the store in public.
This reminded me of the time we were in Southport with our 4 young kids, eating in a "nice" restaurant. All through the meal, I was saying VERY softly,"Stop kicking your brother;close your mouth when you chew;keep your hands to yourselves" etc.etc. An elderly southern gentleman approached my husband and said something in his ear, then left. He told my husband we had such well-behaved children, better than his own grandchildren!
My 6 year old son turned to me and said, very seriously," Mom, we must be better behaved than you think, or else the kids in North Carolina are really bad!!"
You are right Pritchard--in all our years of visiting NC (since 1988) we have never heard mother's screaming at their children in public nor have we had to endure the filthy language that is so common here (in CT).
NCMom---glad you're happy there--we would be too, if we didn't have to leave our now grown kids and 2 granddaughters. We like Union county and also the Southport/Oak Island area. Perhaps someday.......
Carol
This is a bit off-topic, but what's going on in NC is really a stinging indictment of the state of New York, or rather the entire Tri-state area, as it seems that a lot people from NJ and CT are moving there, too.
What has gone so horribly wrong that families are deserting these states in droves for another state and culture so very different from their own? My father is from NYC and I grew up in upstate NY, and neither of us can fathom how anyone from NY would want to move to the South to begin with. Not that there's anything wrong with NC, but it's just so different. Florida is an exception, as it became a vacation haven for NYers long ago, and ended up catering to tourists and out-of-staters. My dad said that when he decided to move to Syracuse, his friends acted like he was going to another planet! Granted, that was a long time ago, but I just can't understand how people think they are going to be fine with all the differences between South and North. Are people that desperate to get out of these states that they are willing to uproot their families, and blindly follow those that have gone before them?
This is a bit off-topic, but what's going on in NC is really a stinging indictment of the state of New York, or rather the entire Tri-state area, as it seems that a lot people from NJ and CT are moving there, too.
What has gone so horribly wrong that families are deserting these states in droves for another state and culture so very different from their own? My father is from NYC and I grew up in upstate NY, and neither of us can fathom how anyone from NY would want to move to the South to begin with. Not that there's anything wrong with NC, but it's just so different. Florida is an exception, as it became a vacation haven for NYers long ago, and ended up catering to tourists and out-of-staters. My dad said that when he decided to move to Syracuse, his friends acted like he was going to another planet! Granted, that was a long time ago, but I just can't understand how people think they are going to be fine with all the differences between South and North. Are people that desperate to get out of these states that they are willing to uproot their families, and blindly follow those that have gone before them?
Some people will move down here and blend right in like they have been here all their lives. Others cannot deal with the differences. I suppose it all depends on you. I lived up in New England for over 30 years and moved here with no problems. In fact this lifestyle seems to fit me and my family much better than the high pace of New England. For us it was a very wise move. If you just pack up and move without really researching, the changes may be a bit of a shock. Some folks come down here with preconcieved notions of how southerners are. Those are the ones that usually don't make it here. Its all in what you make it.
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We like Union county and also the Southport/Oak Island area. Perhaps someday.......
