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Old 04-20-2017, 07:19 AM
 
Location: NC
1,873 posts, read 2,074,111 times
Reputation: 1791

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkmax View Post
I'm turning 29 this month. I was born and raised in eastern North Carolina. I have traveled a lot but have never had an address outside of NC.

But...I just don't want to live here anymore.

I know this seems like a long rant, and it kinda is, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has or has had similar thoughts?
You probably need to live somewhere else, not just travel (it's just not the same), to be objective about NC. Every city, state, country has advantages and disadvantages, not just NC. Everyone knows the shortcomings where they live, no place is perfect.

I've lived in Europe, Asia and 6 US states, and every place I've lived I've known many people who have lived their entire lives in the area. They told me 'this is the greatest place on earth, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.' And I would ask if they'd lived anywhere else, and they reply "no." And then I'd ask 'then how could you know this is the greatest?' Never got an answer, not even once. If all you've ever eaten is vanilla ice cream, you can't know what you might like more, or not.

If you lived in other places, it wouldn't surprise me if you found the pros for NC far outweigh the cons for you. It usually comes down to family, friends and familiarity that keeps people from living somewhere else, nothing wrong with that. Or it's possible you will find someplace else that suits you better. But until you have something to compare with, you simply can't know.

Last edited by Midpack; 04-20-2017 at 07:29 AM..
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Old 04-20-2017, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Danville, VA
6,506 posts, read 4,909,173 times
Reputation: 4166
OP, I used to feel the same way about eastern NC. I grew up in Wayne County and really started to despise the place during my last couple of years there. I called it every name in the book. We moved there in the summer of 1995 and (minus a brief stint in Duplin County) stayed there until 2009. I'm 27, fixing to turn 28.

We moved to southern VA in 2009 so my grandmother could be closer to her brother. However, I was very happy about leaving. I was practically doing cartwheels. I never gave it a second thought. But I should've...

Fast forward 8 years later, I'm wishing that I was still there. I made a lot of good friends when I was there, some I still keep in touch with today. Guess how many friends I've made since I've been in southern VA? None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nyet. Negative. Negatory. Oh, there are acquaintences, but that's all. I've been in the Danville area since 2011, surrounded by neighbors, and I still couldn't tell you who the hell they are and it wasn't for lack of trying. I have no problem saying that southern VA is a lot worse than eastern NC, though the country scenery is much better, I'll give it that.

Goldsboro definitely has it's issues, particularly regarding crime. No argument there. But I was there last September and I was surprised by how it had grown since I lived in the area. Especially the renovation downtown on Center Street. It looks really good compared to what it used to look like. If the county and city council play their cards right, they could make chicken salad out of chicken ****. Same with Wilson and Greenville. Even Rocky Mount. Meanwhile, Danville is begging for someone to stick a fork in it because it's done.

I'm certainly not advising you to stay because I understand the sentiment. It's always good to get out and about. Just make sure moving away permanently is something you really want to do before you take the plunge. Same could be said for anybody that's lived in an area for many years.

Just some food for thought.
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Old 04-20-2017, 07:49 AM
 
2,760 posts, read 2,444,577 times
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i dont see how ENC is worse than gastonia, morganton, wilkesboro, hickory, avery county, roxboro, cherryville, lots of other small towns off and in the mountains

people post on the forums all the time where can "i get 3 acres" but the problem is then they turn around and say "30 minutes from downtown raleigh" or whatever. but you know out there if thats the lifestyle you want ENC is to place to get that for pretty cheap.

certainly the cultural life can be seen as lacking but really hands down the reason i cant live in one of these places is they're practicaly food deserts and its too easy to get fat
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Old 04-20-2017, 08:02 AM
 
6,601 posts, read 10,961,666 times
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Personally, I think 95% of NC is boring. However, that same statement can be made about most states. I like living in or visiting dense walkable areas with shops, dining, and history (think NYC, Philly, Boston, Chicago, New Orleans, Charleston, San Fran etc).

NC cities are new, therefore they lack the historic charm and character of many places. This is what the OP meant when she stated that Raleigh seems fake. Almost Disney-ish. Charlotte falls into that same category to be fair and honest.

On the other hand, fake and clean isn't always a bad thing. Just last week, I took Charlotte's light rail into uptown via Tyvola Station. The elevator at Tyvola has a strong stench of urine; you can't miss it unless your sinuses are clogged. When I arrived uptown, I could clearly smell the body odor of some homeless gentleman sleeping on a bench. While walking uptown I could smell the restaurant kitchens along with the smell of a horse's poop bag (carriage tours). And shortly after that, the carriage tour driver stopped to let the horse pee near a storm drain in the street.

I guess my point is that while NC cities lack the level of "flavor" that can be found in older cities; some of that flavor I can do without. As much as I'd LOVE to reside on the 40th floor of an apartment building in uptown Charlotte, I cringe at the thought of paying $2,000/month for a 1 bedroom unit. And to compare to markets like San Fran, Charlotte's price is a bargain!!!

Unlike our OP, I think many of us have "been there; done that" when it comes to places outside of NC. After weighing our options and past experiences, we made a decision based on lifestyle and income-to-debt ratios. I'd suggest that the OP go out and explore the world; find her place that fits. Life is too short to spend it in a place that simply doesn't suit you.
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Old 04-20-2017, 08:10 AM
 
2,760 posts, read 2,444,577 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
Personally, I think 95% of NC is boring. However, that same statement can be made about most states. I like living in or visiting dense walkable areas with shops, dining, and history (think NYC, Philly, Boston, Chicago, New Orleans, Charleston, San Fran etc).

NC cities are new, therefore they lack the historic charm and character of many places. This is what the OP meant when she stated that Raleigh seems fake. Almost Disney-ish. Charlotte falls into that same category to be fair and honest.

On the other hand, fake and clean isn't always a bad thing. Just last week, I took Charlotte's light rail into uptown via Tyvola Station. The elevator at Tyvola has a strong stench of urine; you can't miss it unless your sinuses are clogged. When I arrived uptown, I could clearly smell the body odor of some homeless gentleman sleeping on a bench. While walking uptown I could smell the restaurant kitchens along with the smell of a horse's poop bag (carriage tours). And shortly after that, the carriage tour driver stopped to let the horse pee near a storm drain in the street.

I guess my point is that while NC cities lack the level of "flavor" that can be found in older cities; some of that flavor I can do without. As much as I'd LOVE to reside on the 40th floor of an apartment building in uptown Charlotte, I cringe at the thought of paying $2,000/month for a 1 bedroom unit. And to compare to markets like San Fran, Charlotte's price is a bargain!!!

Unlike our OP, I think many of us have "been there; done that" when it comes to places outside of NC. After weighing our options and past experiences, we made a decision based on lifestyle and income-to-debt ratios. I'd suggest that the OP go out and explore the world; find her place that fits. Life is too short to spend it in a place that simply doesn't suit you.
Agreed NC really has no historical cities. So IMO a urban mindset isn't part of our historical
Context.
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:53 AM
 
123 posts, read 152,609 times
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OP, I just wanted to chime in and say as someone who now lives near the Rockies (in the plains below, that is) these mountains may be more impressive to look at through the window but let me tell you I miss the mountains in the east (from MA) because they are so much more lush, more green, and more approachable than the ones here who seem mostly to want to kill humans (I should admit I am afraid of heights here) with their size, their cliff faces, their lack of breathable air, their rattlers and cougars. Plus the east has real woods with actual water whereas here it is scrub and rock and some pines yes but nothing like the thick vibrant canopy in the east.

That said, I think it is time for you to move -- but just know (take it from a nomad!) that everywhere you move you will find something to dislike, that is ugly, that annoys, it is just part of being on this planet. Still, I am sure you will find someplace that draws you and in time you will look back on NC with more fondness, trust me on this.
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:58 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
625 posts, read 502,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poppydog View Post
No, not really, but inland eastern NC is my least favorite part of the state, so I can sympathize there. (Love the beaches, though.) My family is from SE NC, so I had my share of experience in eastern NC and I can appreciate a lot of things about it, but would never want to live there again. When I was 29 I had already left NC and spent a year living in Los Angeles and earlier than that a summer working in Yellowstone. But I came back to NC because it was home, just not eastern NC. Came back to Chapel Hill where I went to college and stayed like a lot of people do.

I don't really get what you're saying about Raleigh feeling "fake" or growth in Goldsboro feeling "fake".
The same for me as well in regards to inland eastern NC. I am born and raised in Greensboro, and spent a fair number of years stationed in Jacksonville, and now i am living in Los Angeles hopefully moving back to NC this year. I always used to hear from people I served with that they hated NC, and I used to say that they needed to actually go west of 95 to explore the best that NC has to offer. I have moved around the country and the world alot in the last 10 years so I have experience a fair number of things both good and bad. But to me NC is still my home and I want to move back there to my home, just no where east of the 95 except maybe Wilmington,Greenville, or Goldsboro(big maybe there).

Also this is coming from someone whose family roots go back to SE NC and my last name is very common there.
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Old 04-20-2017, 10:14 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
625 posts, read 502,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkmax View Post
I'm turning 29 this month. I was born and raised in eastern North Carolina. I have traveled a lot but have never had an address outside of NC.

My whole life, I liked it well enough. It was all I really knew, I guess. But now, I suppose since I've visited other places so much, I have just gotten to the point where I really do hate it here.
Sure, there are things that I love about NC. I'm a country girl at heart...I love my country music, and I love country cooking. My family is here. I love that our state has beaches and mountains.
But...I just don't want to live here anymore.
In some ways, this place feels like a total cesspool. So many people here don't value education. So many think "so-and-so is doing real good these days...she got her a job at Wal-Mart, and I guess the kids are staying with their deddy some while she's working now, I'm sure glad he stepped up a little bit since he got out of jail! She said he even got his GED!" So many rednecks with their stupid, noisy jacked-up trucks and Mossy Oak crap. So many hog houses and trailers. The smell of turkey ****. So many drugs...I know they are a problem everywhere, but my goodness.
And then you have places like Raleigh. Fewer rednecks, for sure. But Raleigh just feels like a "fake" city that was built to appease the North Carolina elite and the transplants who came here to work in the Triangle. Sure, there are places to go, places to shop and places to eat, but it still feels...well..."boring." Bland. Like everything got built because it kinda had to be, as a natural progression...I do know that tech and health care things are going on in the Triangle, so I'm not talking about that, but more like as a place to live in general...
And even the things that I love about our state are all, well, half-assed. Sure, I love our Southern food, but it doesn't have the same culture as, say, food from Louisiana. I love that we have beaches, but they're nothing compared to the beaches in Florida. Yes, we have mountains, and they're gorgeous...until you visit the Rockies.
I know this seems like a long rant, and it kinda is, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has or has had similar thoughts?
I can totally see where you are coming from with this rant and it is not unfounded at all. But my take is simple to get up and move somewhere else in the country/world, because then you can/will appreciate NC for what it is. It may not be the best state around but it is our state, and it is home.

The education problem I believe is getting better because people are seeing now that what was good previously back in the days of textile mills and furniture plants dotting the state, and only needing a GED or HS diploma for just does not work now. A large number of the mills and plants relocated to China leaving behind the economically depressed people/state. But I have seen that way of thinking especially with my x-wife's family from Davidson County. They thought that a good job was pulling in $500 a week, all the while having to worry about if the blade was going to cut your hand in the next minute.

I have to say this but Rednecks ARE EVERYWHERE, and not just in NC and not just white either. I personally love jacked up trucks but not too jacked up. But you see those here in Los Angeles as well.

The Rockies and Sierra Nevada Mountains are great and high, but they aren't as nice as our mountains. If you step off a trail in the mountains here you might not be able to find your back because of the Manzanita or sagebrush. Also it does not have all of the wildlife/plant life like the Smokies/Appalachians.

You just need to get out and live somewhere else because then you will be able to appreciate NC.
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Old 04-20-2017, 11:12 AM
 
Location: In a George Strait Song
7,503 posts, read 5,085,044 times
Reputation: 10891
No I don't hate NC. If you want to talk about boring landscapes, look at someplace like Kansas. Poorly educated, unambitious people are in all 50 states (all across the world, for that matter).

The real issue is you need to find your place in the world.

What is your job? What are your savings?
What have you done in order to move away?
What are your goals? Where do you see yourself living?
How about your husband? What does he do? Does he feel the same way?

You are only 29. It is not too late. You can change your situation.

It's a big beautiful world. Go find your place in it.
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Old 04-20-2017, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
42,844 posts, read 53,338,372 times
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It should be noted that EVERY state has vast wilderness that could be considered boring. Some, more than others. It kind of depends upon one's stage of life, whether or not a place is "boring".
We live in a suburb of Savannah. We can drive a short distance to culture, history and dining, or the beach.
We used to live in rural Ohio, with hardly anything to do. We liked this fine, because the trade off was the abundant wildlife, which we enjoyed.
What we couldn't tolerate was the gloomy winter...not the cold, but the lack of sunshine. Plenty of people live happily in every part of the country, so OP should just feel free to find their niche.
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