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poppydog, I cannot verify for myself that the children are being neglected. I was aware that reporting possible child neglect would be disruptive to the family's life; it's one of the reasons I came here to ask for recommendations and appreciate what you said about this. Balancing the protection of the children against the disruption of the family's life is a major consideration.
I can see that I cannot report this possible case myself without knowing for certain that the children are being left alone, but I can go back to the person who has reported that the children MAY be left alone sometimes and give him the information that I am learning on this site. He is in a position to verify whether the children are in fact being left alone.
I cannot take care of the children myself, even for short periods of time, and would be interested in hearing of possible North Raleigh resources that could provide relief childcare. I have considered introducing the mother to some other mothers within this community in hopes that they can share childcare. That would give me a chance to meet the mother and children. Thanks for your response, poppydog.
TarHeelNick, it's really terrible that CPS has not responded to your reports. It's really terrible that children who need protection aren't getting it. Do you think there is value in getting your reports on record with CPS even if they do nothing? For example, do you think these reports could play a role in future legal actions and court cases?
My case is hearsay at this point. And the original source is not even sure the children are being left alone, but he apparently has some reason for suspecting it. Thanks for telling me that hearsay alone will get it thrown out by CPS. I appreciate all knowledgeable input as I decide what to do.
Thank you for making several reports.
I am an After School and Summer Camp Director and thus document every CPS report through my employer's insurer and legal dept.
As a previous poster said; CPS caseloads are insane. As sad as it is; they typically take only the most severe cases where abuse is beyond much reasonable doubt and reported by more than one person or through law enforcement.
The reports I have filed have all generally been based on things that kids have told their counselors.
But what could the mother say that would make it ok to leave them unattended???
Report asap.
QUOTE=Sue at the Rock;50430932]All NC citizens are mandatory reporters, so, per law, you should report. I understand how uncomfortable it is. How reliable is the person reporting it to you?
I agree that the safety of the children is paramount. If talking to the mother first seems right, do that first. But I say do it soon.[/quote]
I think you need to verify if this is true. What are the reasons this man even suspects this?
Involving any authorities at this point, when you don't even know anything about this woman, her children....or even if there is cause for concern is ludicrous. This could turn their lives upside down for no reason.
Believe me, I would certainly be concerned about the rumor....but I would certainly want to verify this asap. Yes, even if it meant going up to her apartment and introducing myself....it is certainly worth any embarrassment this may cause you. And, it is the best alternative.
The only other way would be to report to a policeman that you heard a rumor. And, then let them take it from there. But, in this day and age, before I sent authorities to someone's home unexpectedly....I'd want much more info.
I have to wonder why this man is telling you? Are you a HOA member or something? Is he basing this assumption on not seeing her cart the kids in and out when he assumes she is leaving? Is he positive that her mom doesn't live with her? Or that her husband isn't home? Or, since it is a big building that a neighbor is watching them. It really doesn't sound like he has much factual information imo.
Maybe that the kids are 12 and 9? They don’t even know how old they are!
My nine year old sister used to watch me when I was three. She was practically an adult! It was never for a very long time. Usually when mom had to pick up a few groceries. I think it depends on the kids, the ages, and the length of time.
I agree with doing a welfare check through the Police Department. CPS shouldn't be called until there are facts of what you are reporting. I wouldn't want the Mother knowing I had anything to do with the situation, not knowing the Mother or what kind of person she is things could turn bad real fast.
When you put your nose in to someone's private life (especially if you don't even know them) they can become very angry so I would leave it up to the Police Department to handle.
nobodysbusiness asked “What, exactly, did you hear?” I heard that the mother may be leaving her children alone sometimes and that they are small. That’s it. I did not have a chance to follow up for more information at the time.
JanND, I am a HOA resident and somewhat active in the community. Perhaps that is why he told me. Additionally, he is new here and I may be one of the few residents he knows.
Also, I want everyone to know I received a private message stating that if the mother is overwhelmed, then my community needs to gather around to support her. I want to record all suggestions here in case they also can help someone else in the future.
It seems that some of you were frustrated that I posted here and asked what to do when I know so very little about the situation, e.g., I do not even know the children’s ages beyond the fact that they are “small.” I strongly agree with all of you that I need to know much more about the mother, children, and the entire situation before I do anything.
But I also wanted to know about options for responding to a situation in which a mother MAY be leaving her small children alone sometimes before I took any step whatsoever, including gathering more information from the original source. Before I posted here I had very limited knowledge about handling this situation, the resources (including their pros and cons) and others’ thoughts on what is best to do.
Thanks to all of you I can be much more effective when I talk with the original source of the information about the situation and then in deciding my role in responding to whatever I learn from him.
Thanks to each of you for giving your time and energy to post your response.
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It was never for a very long time. Usually when mom had to pick up a few groceries. I think it depends on the kids, the ages, and the length of time.
