Mixed Couple - racism?

[bichonandon]

Another vote for there is NO issue. I did expect to have problems when I moved to NC, but nothing. Frankly, the only problems have been from people of the same race as my minority partner. White people have been welcoming and polite, which is the opposite of what we expected due to whatever stereotypes the South has, I can only assume.

[grad_student200]

Originally Posted by tracyalexa

Hello all - I posted recently about moving to NC. We are open to which part. A few friends who've lived there in the past and one who lives in Asheville now said that in the smaller towns there seems to be racism. My husband is mixed black/white and I am white. Both kids look white. Husband looks maybe Hispanic or Black - idk because I don't really pay attention to this topic much. Boston has every race and tons of mixed relationships.

In your experience - is the racism blatant? Even if it isn't in your face - is it well known?

My experience in the "Deep South" as a brown Native American has been that harsh blatant racism is infrequent but subtle racism is common.

Examples of harsh blatant racism (these are infrequent in my experience but can happen):
* KKK rallies
* Blatant racial slurs and aggressive, threatening behavior
* An extreme example - Dylan Roof

The far more common racism is subtle (behavioral or institutional)
* subtly, segregated churches - some whites have a "give-the-run-around" persona against minorities joining their church - Sunday masses tend to be segregated
* whites locking the door at the sight of a black man in broad daylight at a Publix supermarket (this is common - very common)
* Workplace favoritism - I saw a young white woman favored at work over darker minorities with far more experience and skills.
* Social ostracization and ridicule: white college students may seemingly accept interracial couples on campus and act indifferent - but on the internet college boards and comment sections derogatory comments can be found where interracial couples are ostracized badly (see "Anonymous College Board" which was shut down a few years ago). Subtle racism tends to be more covert - usually whites are oblivious to it but it is very obvious to minorities. Just google "subtle racism" and see the links.
* Colorism - minorities discriminate against each other based on skin color. This pattern goes back to the days of colonial plantations when mixed offspring were favored as "house slaves" over darker African Americans on the plantations. In this scenario, the blonde white woman was placed on the pedestal of ideal Eurocentric beauty. This racism persists, and hence successful black athletes often reject dark black women to be with blonde white women. See the documentary "Dark Girls" - Atlanta has a very large population of unmarried professional black women partially for this reason.

But there is reverse racism - it goes like this.
* Whites are slow. A "dual threat" quarterback is code for "we don't want a slow white guy running an SEC or ACC offense".

Honestly, you most likely won't deal with harsh blatant racism very much but likely see subtle racism daily.
The pattern of harsh blatant racism is worse in the midwest in Chicago and surrounding areas. I saw an interracial couple get attacked in an Indiana mall during a busy hour by Klansmen. I never saw that in the "Deep South". Rural AZ of the 1970s and 1980s was far worse for racism in my opinion. See the classic film "Billy Jack" about a half-white Native American green beret battling racism in a bigoted reservation border town.

[hey_guy]

Originally Posted by grad_student200

My experience in the "Deep South" as a brown Native American has been that harsh blatant racism is infrequent but subtle racism is common.

Examples of harsh blatant racism (these are infrequent in my experience but can happen):
* KKK rallies
* Blatant racial slurs and aggressive, threatening behavior
* An extreme example - Dylan Roof

The far more common racism is subtle (behavioral or institutional)
* subtly, segregated churches - some whites have a "give-the-run-around" persona against minorities joining their church - Sunday masses tend to be segregated
* whites locking the door at the sight of a black man in broad daylight at a Publix supermarket (this is common - very common)
* Workplace favoritism - I saw a young white woman favored at work over darker minorities with far more experience and skills.
* Social ostracization and ridicule: white college students may seemingly accept interracial couples on campus and act indifferent - but on the internet college boards and comment sections derogatory comments can be found where interracial couples are ostracized badly (see "Anonymous College Board" which was shut down a few years ago). Subtle racism tends to be more covert - usually whites are oblivious to it but it is very obvious to minorities. Just google "subtle racism" and see the links.
* Colorism - minorities discriminate against each other based on skin color. This pattern goes back to the days of colonial plantations when mixed offspring were favored as "house slaves" over darker African Americans on the plantations. In this scenario, the blonde white woman was placed on the pedestal of ideal Eurocentric beauty. This racism persists, and hence successful black athletes often reject dark black women to be with blonde white women. See the documentary "Dark Girls" - Atlanta has a very large population of unmarried professional black women partially for this reason.

But there is reverse racism - it goes like this.
* Whites are slow. A "dual threat" quarterback is code for "we don't want a slow white guy running an SEC or ACC offense".

Honestly, you most likely won't deal with harsh blatant racism very much but likely see subtle racism daily.
The pattern of harsh blatant racism is worse in the midwest in Chicago and surrounding areas. I saw an interracial couple get attacked in an Indiana mall during a busy hour by Klansmen. I never saw that in the "Deep South". Rural AZ of the 1970s and 1980s was far worse for racism in my opinion. See the classic film "Billy Jack" about a half-white Native American green beret battling racism in a bigoted reservation border town.

At this level we are talking about things fundamental to the human condition

[Odenwald]

OP, my father is a black native North Carolinean. He lives together with his white wife in an extremely small, black town in eastern North Carolina. They regularly go to white churches at which the odd other black person may attend. They also own business. There are zero issues for them with racist white people.

When I lived there, I did notice racism. Young people there can sometimes have stupid or curious ideas about race and not keep that to themselves. I noticed that with both black and white people in their teens or early twenties. There were also some rare occurences with very old folk. This was about ten years ago.

Overall, I didn't feel racism in North Carolina had a negative effect on my daily life there. You really only notice it occasionally from people who don't matter. I would move there without worries with my white girlfriend.

North Carolineans, in general, always struck me as warm, hospitable and up-front. Made some very good friends there!

Cheers