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I don't know about North Carolina, but in North Georgia there are some towns that are Maybery-like. I'd say that Clayton is one. Some other mountain towns probably equally so, both in Georgia and North Carolina. Yes, there are families that have lived in these towns for many generations, and they do tend to run things. But, it's not impossible to move there and be accepted - you just have to make an honest effort to become a part of their community, leave "the way we do it in ______ville" at the county line before you even step foot in the town. Most folks are nice people, especially if you make a sincere effort to befriend them. Like, affiliate with a church; Go to Highschools football / basketball games, even if you don't have kids that attend; volunteer your time when and where you can. Even people who's families have lived in a town for generations take notice of these things when an "outsider" moves to town.
Prichard, I think that you are absolutely right. There are many nice people in small towns; in our town, for example, belonging to a church, and attending basketball/football games is ALL that there is, and for most of the people here, that's enough. For me, a church is important; we belong to a church here. Our kids attend a parochial school here. Life has been good to us in that way as our kids are being raised in a safe environment and the teachers get to know your children. I have noticed, though, that the "sports" here are a huge issue; that it's the "towners" (people who have been here for generations) that run the sports things, that they want full control of that, that it's their "baby". I have seen grown men get almost get into a full-fledged physical fight at baseball try-outs if a certain kid doesn't get on their Little League team. I think that some of these men were boys who formerly got into spats at school. Now it continues into adulthood. The "history" of this type of thing goes deep.
Donna, I have to say that I've enjoyed reading your very insightful posts. You have very directly, yet tactfully, explained an out-of-towner's perspective on moving to a small town where the families go back for generations. When I bought a little place in the kind of place that you describe, I became fascinated with the history of the towns people and I would keep my eye out on anything that discussed the area. I stumbled on a well written book written in the 1940's that detailed the geneological history and details of all of the founding families. Eventhough this book was written over 60 years ago, those same families live in and run the various towns in that county. Reading that book was sort of like cheating - suddenly I got a real peak into who many of the people I had encountered really were - and even though the book was old and left you hanging in the 1940's. Without that "sneak peak", I'd have to live and work there for a good amount of time before you really understand who's who. As to how things really work, you just have to live in and experience a town before you really know anything.
Local sports are very important. I can understand why some of the people involved feel that it's "their baby"; probably because they, and their familiy, have invested substantial time and money building up the sports program or even a particular church. By the way, you can find this just about anywhere, not just in small towns. The difference is that in small towns, if you want your kid to play baseball, there aren't 3 other leagues available nearby for him to play in. When there's just one league the competiton and the associated problems are more pronounced. Politics, sports and churches are all intertwined - the same leaders, or their close friends will be involved in each of these things.
Small towns do change, it's just that change happens much slower there. One difficult thing for the towns people is when there are a substantal number of out-of-towners who have moved in, the transplants also tend to clique with one another and they feel like they are getting run over. Afterall, it's much easier to make friends with people in a similar situation as you, than to try to assimilate into an complex social circle that will look for reasons to exclude you if you are not "their type". The fact is, the towns people are probably being run over, but not really due to any conspiracy. Every town really is different and unique from the other one up the road. Anyone who lumps them all together, even towns in the same county, is really making a big error.
You are 100% right. We live in a "Mayberry" type town here in NE OH. We have been here since June of 1991, and are parents to a larger family. Having had children and having had more children as we continued to live here as helped us assimiliate a bit because of our children's involvement in school activities and sports.
This small town that we live in is only 5 to 10 minutes away from the border of the towns that both my husband and I grew up in. We did not move hundreds or thousands of miles to live here. Truly, this town borders our former home towns growing up, yet one feels as if they moved to another state.
I have to list the positives of this town. Some positives include safety and safe schools, very little violence or crime. Now for the negatives/cons: The homogenous aspect is not that good because your children will never know any type of diversity, including different skin color, ethnicity, or religion unless you purposefully educate him/her on that. And finally, what LiveinNC has said - I can't say it any better. He/she is right on target. Like I said, we've been here since 1991, grew up only a few minutes from here, but we will always be considered outsiders, looking in through the fishbowl because we did not go to school here, we did not grow up here, our family "roots" are not from here. Truly, generations of families have grown up here; the houses are quietly transferred from family member to family member without ever a "for sale" sign going up. If you like that sort of thing, and can somehow find a way to "fit in" or want to assimiliate into a community like this, I think there are many across the U.S. just like this. I've found that the people that do assimiliate somewhat into this type of community act and think like the people around here. For us, we are not gossipers, not interested in everyone else's business.
As we've been here, more of the land has been developed and more "outsiders" have moved in, but the "townsfolk" really put up an eternal fight about this. Our town seems to be divided between those that want progress (want to attract some business, shopping, industry), and those that want to keep it exactly like it is.
I know several people who have been "driven out" of this town, not by physical violence or threats, but by subtle shunning, gossip, picking on their kids, ostracizing their kids in sports, etc. The people just plain gave up and quit; sold their house and moved out of this town. I also know some people who have moved out of here even after living here many years, and are finally happy living somewhere else because they experienced the type of treatment the original poster described.
This town loves sports; the only thing it supports and celebrates is sports. Again, if your child/ren is/are not from here; most likely they will feel as if they're never good enough. Things here are about "politics", not a child's ability to play.
Overall, our experience has been both good and bad living in a "Mayberry type town" as you describe.
My advice to those looking for Mayberry type towns is to know that the show was fictional, that the lovey-dovey things, the concerns for others, and all of the other wonderful things that most of us want in our life, including acceptance, is most likely a fictional reality. The reality, in my opinion,is that one must find a place that resonates with each of us within. For some, it could be a small town, for others, it could be a very large city, but with a network of people that support you and love you.
You don't happen to live in Canal Fulton, do you? LOL! Been here since I've been 5 and it sounds alot like what you describe. ;o)
I want to add that the people who were driven out by this town, through subtle actions (as mentioned in my previous post) were ones that tried to make changes as it pertains to town politics, and to their most precious commoditity and that is sports. You'd be shocked by how much politics is involved in Little League baseball or Pee Wee football. Dear Lord, you would think that the NBA and NFL reside here. Well, in their small town minds, they do. If you move to a small town, prepare to conform yourself to how the other townspeople think and act; don't cause waves, don't be different. For some, that is not easy. I feel sorry for the people that move to small towns looking for an idealized reality, looking for that mythical place where everyone knows your name, people are friendly, etc. Small towns are not always the answer for everyone. I really hope that people get that because it is true.
No, not Canal Fulton, but you are mighty close! Dare I name the little town and not get in trouble? Well, I better not, but you are close. How about if I say that the town starts with a "D" and is in Wayne County?
You have very good points; I can certainly see what you are saying; especially if you are in North Carolina - a most beautiful state. Yes, I agree about the "baby" thing as it pertains to sports, etc., as the people here have invested years of their life in this area, that is for sure. In our area (NE OH) - I don't know that things are growing that much as the out-migration was pretty high according to an article that I read recently, but even with that being true, I wouldn't doubt that the people who have been here many years and several generations (at least) feel the way that you have described. They certainly are protective of things and keeping things as they are. Thank you for your nice words as well. Wishing you a wonderful day.
I have seen grown men get almost get into a full-fledged physical fight at baseball try-outs if a certain kid doesn't get on their Little League team. I think that some of these men were boys who formerly got into spats at school. Now it continues into adulthood.
Donna, thanks for a superbly helpful post and I do agree with Pritchard that sports issues exist in big cities as well, but you can eventually jump onto another team if you run into problems I guess.
We could almost start an entire thread on how maniacal people can become when it comes to their kids and sports! It can really get ugly at times. Whether it's parents or coaches, both can be nuts.
The movie Hoosiers (about the basketball team) gives some interesting insights into small town living.
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Small Towns In NC
