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Old 12-22-2008, 09:14 AM
 
3,650 posts, read 9,187,012 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
Often it is one person who loves it and one hates it so the choice is get divorced or just keep complaining. ..


Or hey how about TALK TO EACH OTHER and work it out vs harboring all this resentment and making plans well in advance to leave.
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Old 12-22-2008, 11:56 AM
 
549 posts, read 1,734,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
Often it is one person who loves it and one hates it so the choice is get divorced or just keep complaining.
If my wife was truly miserable living somewhere then we'd move and she'd do the same thing for me. That's what spouses do for one another.
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Old 12-22-2008, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Swansboro
79 posts, read 312,243 times
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Interesting points. I especially agree with the one about those individuals who are unhappy regardless of where they are. I think they move here thinking THIS will finally be the place where everything is great and wonderful... only to find that things are still the same as the last place they went - because it's not the location that's the problem, but the person living there

My husband still owns his house on Emerald Isle and has some neighbors (retirees) who are shockingly cranky and unhappy with life. How on earth can you live at the beach and be unhappy?
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Old 12-22-2008, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Oriental, NC
917 posts, read 2,292,735 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmetto Heel View Post
If my wife was truly miserable living somewhere then we'd move and she'd do the same thing for me. That's what spouses do for one another.
Well of course that IS what most do for each other but after 20 + years I had given up thinking he would actually do that, but last night surprise surprise. He said that he would consider leaving here if I hated it so much I was willing to leave without him! We shall see though, I don't have a lot of faith after so long.
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Old 12-22-2008, 09:23 PM
 
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Hi,
I'm new to the area and have only been in NC a year. Prior to relocating here...I had never set a foot in North Carolina. My move to NC was forced as I was desperate to find a teaching job...any teaching job. I'm happy to say that I really like it here. The 1st year was so hard though because my family and I were so home sick. If I had let myself, I could have been one of those whiners but now I love it here. As to the whiners...I think may be they were expecting too much.
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Old 12-22-2008, 09:44 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,121,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
We came here in 87 due to husbands job. We were in Rocky Mount. Yes I hated it but his job was good and we had 7 children. I could have left and taken them (can you imagine being a single mother of 7!!!???) or I could have left them all. I actually considered this as I hated it so much but I couldn't bring myself to do that. When he retired we were down to 3 kids and husband bought a sailboat. We moved to Oriental. Yes I like it a lot better but still want to be back in New England. He loves it here however so my plan is this...When youngest kid is 20 I may leave on my own. If husband dies I will stay till she is done with high school and then leave. In any event I don't see myself staying here more then 5 more years. Often it is one person who loves it and one hates it so the choice is get divorced or just keep complaining. The things I dislike the most? The heat and humidity from May till Nov. and the religious/conservative thing with the majority of the people.
Reading your post made me sooo sad, b/c if anyone has given it all she has to try to adjust and make it work . . . you have. You have just not been in a place that was really compatible for you. I hope your DH will indeed reconsider . . . sounds like you would be much happier in a cooler place in New England. It is so very different . . . good luck. I would say after staying here for 21 years, raising your kids (all 7!!!!) and trying to compromise . . . you deserve spending the next 20 where you would really be comfortable.
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Old 12-23-2008, 07:29 AM
 
549 posts, read 1,734,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
Well of course that IS what most do for each other but after 20 + years I had given up thinking he would actually do that, but last night surprise surprise. He said that he would consider leaving here if I hated it so much I was willing to leave without him! We shall see though, I don't have a lot of faith after so long.
I'm surprised that you stuck with him for 20 years. You're either very patient or a doormat. Glad to hear that your husband has come around.
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Old 12-23-2008, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Oriental, NC
917 posts, read 2,292,735 times
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Well, it seems I spoke too soon. Today he says he does NOT want to leave. Of course I'm not surprised.Now if only I could win the lottery.
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Old 12-23-2008, 09:00 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,121,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
Well, it seems I spoke too soon. Today he says he does NOT want to leave. Of course I'm not surprised.Now if only I could win the lottery.
Just start looking online for places in the location you prefer. You never know. Maybe you will show him something and get him interested . . . ??? (Maybe?)
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Old 12-24-2008, 10:38 AM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,961,324 times
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I moved here because my parents lived here. My dad was very very ill and in and out of the hospital.I choose to bring my kids here ( Hubby couldn't transfer yet) so we could help take care of him and spend time with him before he passed. There is a lot of I love about NC, however I have never quite felt like this is home.I have lots of friends and am involved in the kids schools and the church.I'm not a miserable person, but there have been times I've been miserable here, which I'm sure is the case no matter where you are at.

My husband was due to transfer the week my dad passed, and instead the plants ( both the one he was transferring from and the one he was transferring to) went belly up, with no warning. And since then, he's had several good jobs, but with the nature of the work, they never seem to last and always end abruptly. We never had this issue before, and I know this is not the fault of NC, but it just seems this is the way things are. I know once I finish school and he can begin to go to school, it will be different.My work will pay better and steady, I know we just have to "get there".

Again, there is much I love about this state.I had my youngest daughter here, I've met some fantastic people and the mountains are absolutely beautiful, and on and on. However, if I could leave right now, and go to a place where we wouldn't have to struggle so much, I'd be packed in a minute!
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