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I moved here because my parents lived here. My dad was very very ill and in and out of the hospital.I choose to bring my kids here ( Hubby couldn't transfer yet) so we could help take care of him and spend time with him before he passed. There is a lot of I love about NC, however I have never quite felt like this is home.I have lots of friends and am involved in the kids schools and the church.I'm not a miserable person, but there have been times I've been miserable here, which I'm sure is the case no matter where you are at.
My husband was due to transfer the week my dad passed, and instead the plants ( both the one he was transferring from and the one he was transferring to) went belly up, with no warning. And since then, he's had several good jobs, but with the nature of the work, they never seem to last and always end abruptly. We never had this issue before, and I know this is not the fault of NC, but it just seems this is the way things are. I know once I finish school and he can begin to go to school, it will be different.My work will pay better and steady, I know we just have to "get there".
Again, there is much I love about this state.I had my youngest daughter here, I've met some fantastic people and the mountains are absolutely beautiful, and on and on. However, if I could leave right now, and go to a place where we wouldn't have to struggle so much, I'd be packed in a minute!
I can see why you would not feel 100% settled here. So many of our factories and plants have closed here . . . it has been a roller coaster for thousands of people in several sectors.
I hope things will work out where you can either get to the place where you feel this is "home" or you can move somewhere that will be that "warm, safe spot." It is hard to put a finger on it, but I truly believe when you move to a place, you either get that feeling that it is where you should be - or you don't. There can be so many reasons why, too.
So I hope it all eventually works out for you and your family. It could be even a different city in NC would be more compatible. It amazes me what a difference it can make as to how a place "feels" when the distance is only 60 miles or so. Regions truly do have their own personality. I was unhappy only 30 miles from a spot that I later moved to - and was VERY happy living in the new place. Really strange how that can work out . . . even small things can make a person feel at home or uncomfortable.
[quote=eadams2;6628333]I've been a reader of this forum for quite a while and I can't help but notice an unfortunate trend. Individuals move to NC, but then once they're here, they are truly unhappy people who have nothing nice to say about the towns that they live in. Why did you move here if things are so bad and why are you still here if you're so miserable??
/QUOTE]
It's funny that you have this opinion. I see exactly the opposite. Most of the posts I see are very positive & people are much happier here than where they came from. If you think there's a lot of negativity in this forum, you should see some of the other state forums.
So you're just going to take it? That's pathetic. The man obviously doesn't care very much about you if he's willing to let you be miserable.
Now now Palmetto, we have only heard one side of this story. I am not defending her husband, but I am sure he might have his reasons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental
The heat and humidity from May till Nov. and the religious/conservative thing with the majority of the people.
I am not sure I understand the big deal with the heat and humidity?! The average human being finds the south more comfortable year round than New England. Now if you are an allergy sufferer, than I can understand your point. Allergy season here is terrible in comparison to New England.
As for religion, could you tell us a little more about what it is you are experiencing in Oriental, NC? I have seen much of NC, and I honestly had to google Oriental to find out where it is. You appear to be in the middle of Havelock, Newbern, and NOWHERE!!!
Also, what is it (other than the cold weather) are you longing for in New England and what part of New England?
I hate to sound nosy, but your story is quite interesting and so far I am not seeing why you are so unhappy. If you are from anywhere near Boston or Providence, then I see your point. YOU NEED TO GO BACK HOME!!! My wife and I may be joining you one day in the Boston/Providence area LOL!!!
Last edited by urbancharlotte; 12-24-2008 at 07:57 PM..
Amazing how differently people view situations. I'm from New England, 15 miles inland from the ocean all my life until we moved here in Spring 2007. I had always heard how hot and humid it was here, but I agree with UrbanCharlotte. We had more humidity this summer than last, but neither summer can beat the humidity we had in Mass. There we had 7 months of winter and when summer finally came after a questionable Spring, we would get whacked with incredible humidity. But I was used to it and never knew any differently.
I love having just 3 months of winter, an incredibly gorgeous Spring and Fall when you can spend time outdoors constantly, and 3 months of summer where the days are hot, but the breeze blows lightly, the skies are blue, and the nights are balmy. I have embraced Carolina Beach Music and am just overwhelmed with the wonderful friendly people I have met at concerts, in stores, and at church. Middle aged people can actually have a social life here!
Religion? I love the fact that I can say Merry Christmas and God Bless You without being verbally attacked. Plus I found a really great church in the same denomination as up North, but it is so much more active, musical, and personal.
Jobs? Who said it's easy finding a good job ANYWHERE! All states have problems. I saw manufacturing jobs closing like crazy up north too.
Thank you to all you native North Carolinians for sharing your wonderful state with me!
My best advice to you is try moving to another state. That way, you can be the transplant for a change. Trust me, being the transplant no matter where you go is not fun. Especially if you left an area that you spent many many years in.
We are all creatures of habit. We tend to like the familiar. It is just silly for natives to take a complaining transplant seriously. It is obvious, the transplants that complain do not like their native (nor newly found) home.
Why is heck should the OP or any NC native need to move to another state? Just to see what it is like to be a transplant? Give me a break! Obviously they have stayed here for a reason, personally for me I cannot see myself living in another state. This is where my family is and that alone will make me stay. And like so many other natives I will cling to this red clay dirt until my last breath with pride.
As for transplants complaining it does get old for me at least. Example, over this past semester in one of my classes two women from California never stopped. It was always what was wrong with this state and what they did in their state. I do not care. I have a very low tolerance for BS. If I have to shut up and get over it as a native, transplants can do the same.
First off: please, point us to all these posts/people who have nothing nice to say. I've seen extremely few at most.
Second: assuming any do, I would say it's because they heard or read about how amazing NC was and so took a chance, only to find it wasn't "as advertised" and feel frustrated or even duped about it somehow.
Third: they likely can't just "go" because jobs aren't exactly overflowing right now.
Very well said...NC isn't for everyone thats for sure. Some people will move there and be very happy to live their forever...some people just won't like it. It's not so easy to just "pick up and move on" although I agree it's not really necessary to talk about how much you don't like it and point out all the things that are bad on a forum over the internet just to vent your frustration. I know..because I did this very thing!
So you're just going to take it? That's pathetic. The man obviously doesn't care very much about you if he's willing to let you be miserable.
Yes I tend to agree with you. We came here from Sandwich MA but I don't have to be near the water, anywhere in New England or NY would do. We came here with 5 kids in '87 and then had 2 more. Those 2 are now 17 and 15, both girls. I was a stay at home mom until 3 years ago. Although I've been to college I didn't graduate as I couldn't decide what I wanted to be besides be a wife and mother, so I dropped out and got married. Dumb move. I'm digressing however, I work as the front desk person in a pretty little hotel in our town. Nice easy job but of course no money or benefits. Husband is 68 and has social security and medicare and does some work on the side fixing boats.(mechanical genius) He bought himself a 30 ft. sailboat when he retired to this town 5 years ago. He is very happy here. We have very little in common any more, maybe we never did. I am in my 50's and can't see how I could save the money I would need to move on my own, (at least 4,000) take the youngest child, find a sm. apt. pay the 1st, last and deposit as well as the deposits to get elec. turned on etc... and survive till I found a job. I have an old car, a '91 Olds Bravada. It runs well but how long will that last? (Yes I'm scared) With such little experience I know I can't expect to make very much money. Maybe one of you has some suggestions? Otherwise I wait till he dies. He only has $75,000 in ins. money but it would be enough to move, get newer car and health ins. and then some. I'm not wishing him dead, I do not hate this man. It's just that it seems to be my only option for getting out of the south. No I'm not planning a murder.
Yes I tend to agree with you. We came here from Sandwich MA but I don't have to be near the water, anywhere in New England or NY would do. We came here with 5 kids in '87 and then had 2 more. Those 2 are now 17 and 15, both girls. I was a stay at home mom until 3 years ago. Although I've been to college I didn't graduate as I couldn't decide what I wanted to be besides be a wife and mother, so I dropped out and got married. Dumb move. I'm digressing however, I work as the front desk person in a pretty little hotel in our town. Nice easy job but of course no money or benefits. Husband is 68 and has social security and medicare and does some work on the side fixing boats.(mechanical genius) He bought himself a 30 ft. sailboat when he retired to this town 5 years ago. He is very happy here. We have very little in common any more, maybe we never did. I am in my 50's and can't see how I could save the money I would need to move on my own, (at least 4,000) take the youngest child, find a sm. apt. pay the 1st, last and deposit as well as the deposits to get elec. turned on etc... and survive till I found a job. I have an old car, a '91 Olds Bravada. It runs well but how long will that last? (Yes I'm scared) With such little experience I know I can't expect to make very much money. Maybe one of you has some suggestions? Otherwise I wait till he dies. He only has $75,000 in ins. money but it would be enough to move, get newer car and health ins. and then some. I'm not wishing him dead, I do not hate this man. It's just that it seems to be my only option for getting out of the south. No I'm not planning a murder.
Ann you truly are in a bad situation. Do you have any family or friends that can help you? I don't know what kind of options there are in your area...is there anything like this? - Dress for Success
I'm sorry you've had such a negative experience here. It sounds like the your town isn't a good fit for you. Just remember that NC is a big state and not everyone is alike.
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