Raleigh area or Charlotte area? (Cary, Apex: home, job market, safe neighborhoods)

[linearity]

My husband has just recently interviewed in both places and has received an offer from a company in Cary, NC and we expect to receive some more offers from Charlotte within hte week. We are currently in ABQ, NM.

If you were in the position to choose to relocate to Charlotte or Raleigh, which one would you choose and why? Here's what we're looking for in a place. Keep in mind, we'd most likely be living in a suburb of either city. We have a two year old and expect to have more children in the future, so here's what's important to us:

Safe neighborhoods
Really good schools
Affordable cost of living (to give you an idea, the city of Charlotte has a pretty close cost of living to ABQ, which is about where we'd like to be as far as that goes)
Young families in our neighborhood (this would be an added bonus, not a must)
Friendly people
Lots of fun local family activities we can do with the kids
A healthy economy/job market

So, given these things, which would you choose and why?

We've visited Raleigh as a family about 2 years ago and liked it. My husband went to Charlotte for his interviews, but didn't have a lot of time to look around. So, we really don't know much about what Charlotte's like, but it sounds nice as well. To be honest, the cost of living has me a little concerned in Raleigh area. I've heard Raleigh has a city property tax and a county property tax. Do you still face being taxed twice if you live in Cary/Apex/Holly Springs or in Wake Forest (i.e. outlying areas of Raleigh)? We're looking to purchase a home between 150-185k. I stay home with our son, which is why we can't buy a more expensive home. This may limit us, I understand, but to us, it's more important that I can stay at home with the kids at this time.

Can anyone offer us any help in this area and just tell us which you would choose and why? I understand this is only a forum and really we need to see for ourselves, but any internal feedback we can get from locals would be welcome. Thanks!

[Weis02]

From what I know re both, you have to ck out areas re taxes in Char too...If you are in the meck county line and live in Davidson for exam, you will pay taxes to both areas, both areas have their tax system on line and explains tax rates, etc...I believe it depends if you are within the city limits but if you are not in the city limits, you can get annexed it, so this too may change.

Hope this helps.

[hapaleeretired]

I live within the Charlotte viewing area and from what I watch on the local news I would avoid Charlotte/Mech shcools at all costs.
My daughter is in Fuquay Varina outside of Raleigh and is very happy with the school system.
Traffic in both cities is disgraceful. The lack of planning is evident. But I think Raleigh is a little better.
A couple of hours from Charlotte and you're in the mountains. A couple hours from Raleigh and you're in the ocean.
Raleigh is hotter in the summer.

[Miker2069]

Charlotte, but I'm biased

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Can anyone else help me? Thanks.