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This might not be the right sub-forum for this, if not please move mods. I've been thinking about leaving NC for the past few months now. I would like to do this while I'm young and I'm 23 years old now but there is a few things holding me back. My parents are quite old, dad is 69 and my mom is 66. I get excited everytime I think about moving but at the same time I feel bad leaving my parents. I think because of their age. Even though I'm tired of the lifestyle here I would still miss so much. I've lived here all my life but theres no opportunity here and I really don't think there ever will be. The economy is bad right now of course but It seems Anchorage, AK is still doing pretty strong compared to us in the lower 48. I really think I want to do this and I know I can if I work at it but when I think about actually leaving I get this pain in my chest like I'm already homesick. I would be doing this alone as well. How do you mentally get prepared to leave everything you have ever known? Leaving your friends and family behind. Just seems like that is the biggest challenge of all.
Are your parents in good health? They may not view themselves as "old" at all. My parents are 79 and 75 and are in good health and will probably live a good long time yet.
I left at age 18, travelled to the USA alone (I was a US citizen raised overseas), went to college and got a job, all 8,000 miles from home in a time when international phone service wasn't the greatest and there was no internet.
I think that if you really do have an opportunity to go and get a job and enjoy what you are doing, you should go.
What is the worst that can happen? The worst is that you hate it and come back home. I don't see that as a big deal at all. We have relatively inexpensive air travel, great phone rates, and internet for you to stay in touch.
Where do you live in NC? Sounds like your location in NC might seem like there aren't many opportunities, but there are elsewhere. I moved to Wilmington from Durham for a year and got it out of my system. So maybe moving to a new town a couple hours away will give you a new adventure and outlook, and still be near your parents. Otherwise, if your parents are still healthy and doing fine get away for a few years and you can always come back. Good luck!
This might sound harsh, but if I were you, I would wait until your parents have passed on. This is coming from a guy who is 28 and have already lost both of his parents. My dad died when I was 6, and moms died nearly two years ago. When I moved back to Charlotte, I was excited to be coming home to my mom. However, moms only lived for two more months after my return. I pretty much missed the last 5 years of her life living in other states. Just from reading your post, I sense that you would regret your decision if one of your parents died two years after you moved away.
If you can live with the possibility of being gone when one of your parents passes on, then I say go for it!!! I just know from my own personal experience, I expected more than two months with my mother when I returned home. She had just turned 59. I never would have thought in a million years that mom would not live to see 60. Call me crazy, but I think she waited for me to come home (Charlotte) before she decided to go home (heaven).
you had an advantage being a third culture kid. I'm one myself and dind it harder to stay in one place, sometimes, than it is to go somewhere ro do something new.
Are your parents in good health? They may not view themselves as "old" at all. My parents are 79 and 75 and are in good health and will probably live a good long time yet.
I left at age 18, travelled to the USA alone (I was a US citizen raised overseas), went to college and got a job, all 8,000 miles from home in a time when international phone service wasn't the greatest and there was no internet.
I think that if you really do have an opportunity to go and get a job and enjoy what you are doing, you should go.
What is the worst that can happen? The worst is that you hate it and come back home. I don't see that as a big deal at all. We have relatively inexpensive air travel, great phone rates, and internet for you to stay in touch.
Maybe if you tell yourself you're going to do a 'test-run' to Alaska to see if it's a fit it won't seem so overwhelming a move.
It's certainly not final. You may not like it. Or you may love it. Hard to say until you've tested the waters.
It sure does get cold, gray and dark for part of the year there...will it not bother you or will you get Seasonal Affective Disorder and miss the Carolina blue skies and moderate weather--and want to move back? Again, you won't know until you've tried it for a year there.
I moved 3000 miles from home when I was your age but made trips back to visit family and they came to see me...was I glad I made the move? Definitely!
Thanks for all your replies. I just feel stuck and confused. I live in a small country town 10 miles from Kinston and 40 minutes from Greenville. Lived in Greenville for a year with a couple friends but it isn't really what I'm looking for. I know I would feel bad leaving my parents and I feel like I should wait. Hell, I haven't even talked to them about it yet . I haven't mentioned it to anyone yet. But I also feel like I'm going to miss job opportunities in Anchorage. I've seen quite a few jobs I would be qualified for on craigslist. I would miss Carolina but I think I would like Alaska and I consider myself a strong person and I know I could adapt. I guess it's just something I'm going to have to figure out for myself. Anyone else have any moving stories?
Personally, I wouldn't make such a long-distance move to Alaska (or anywhere else) based on job postings on Craigslist. Many of those postings are bogus, based on my personal experience of exploring their job postings in my professional area.
I would do much more research before moving.
You could contact employment agencies, newspaper business editors, librarians, and actual companies at your proposed new location to find out the true facts about employment there...or post your questions in the Alaska section here on City Data for locals to answer.
By the way, your parents don't seem very aged to me--are they in ill health with chronic conditions? If they're healthy, they might live another 20-30 years...
The best thing that any young person can do is get out there and see new things. Get it out of your system, see the sites and live a new culture. You might find something you really like, or you might really miss home.
My sister travelled and studied in Germany right after high school for 1yr and then spent a 2nd year of college studying abroad in Germany. This offered her the ability to travel throughout Europe and experience a whole different way of life. It also opened the door for her to travel to other parts of the world and throughout the US. She had an itch to leave home while a teenager and she took care of that itch. Now, she is a home owner near where we grew up and focusing on her career path. She still travels regularly, but she was able to get the big traveling out of her system. I've had the nomad itch most of my life, can't sit still very long. I've moved 14 times in 10 yrs. My father hates that I'm so far away, but he supports me living my own life. He is 60 this year.
We're currently living near my inlaws, and my MIL has had several severe strokes recently. She may not be around long; yet, we're looking to move far away. My husband's take on this: "I can't stop my life waiting for my parents to die." It sounds harsh, but it is the truth. We can't stop our own career paths in anticipation that our parents won't be around forever. The important thing is that we cherish the time we do spend with them, take time out of our schedule to regularly talk to them, and enjoy their company while they are here.
Remember... Yes, your parents are older and could have health complications at some point. But, they may either out live you.. or, they may pass on due to something completely unrelated to health issues. Meanwhile, you have to beat your own path and become your own person - would they be prouder of you for taking charge of your life, or would they be prouder about you sitting back living in their shadow "waiting" for whatever is to come?
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I just know from my own personal experience, I expected more than two months with my mother when I returned home. She had just turned 59. I never would have thought in a million years that mom would not live to see 60. Call me crazy, but I think she waited for me to come home (Charlotte) before she decided to go home (heaven).
. I haven't mentioned it to anyone yet. But I also feel like I'm going to miss job opportunities in Anchorage. I've seen quite a few jobs I would be qualified for on craigslist. I would miss Carolina but I think I would like Alaska and I consider myself a strong person and I know I could adapt. I guess it's just something I'm going to have to figure out for myself. Anyone else have any moving stories?
