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Hi, im new to this forum, and i just need some advice. I'm 20 years old and have decided i want to move from ohio to north carolina, near raleigh. I've already started to look for jobs, but I was thinking of moving in a year from now, or roughly around that time. I have a bf and he says he'll go where I go, but he wants us to get a place together up here first. (I live with my grandma and he lives with his mom). (we both pay rent.) and I'm also trying to look for a second job in the time being (not in food service) and so to stock that away for expenses for when i move. My problem (and i'm sorry to take so long), is that i want to just gun ho it and move now and leave everything, i'm worried that my bf wont want to go. I feel bad leaving my grandparents behind (they don'y really have anyone) I feel like living with my grandma longer can result in me losing my mind, but in getting a place together, we'd be losing more money than being able to save. I feel a little lost and just need some advice if anyone can help me I would be appreciative. I'm looking for a job in retail, sales, advertising, or computers. I have some college experience and marketing/ advertising experience, if anyone knows a good place to apply. THANKS.
If you're feeling guilty about moving before you've moved, then you're going to feel REALLY guilty about moving once you do move. I suggest you sit back and roll that around a few times. In order to relocate successfully, you have to be ready to tackle it when the time comes. That won't happen if there is guilt building about moving. You can't focus on both.
The best thing you can do in order to relocate is save your pennies. HOWEVER... what happens if you and BF get down here, move in for the first time and then realize you all really don't love each other as much as you thought you did??
Moving in with an SO is a huge life change. It is not easy, it will put a strain on the relationship, and it will be the straw that broke the camel's back in so many cases. Take that plus a lifestyle change with a relocation plus a new job .. and you have a recipe for diseaster.
Just a tip from someone who has been around long enough to learn a few lessons, but young enough to keep making mistakes.... If you jump the gun and go ahead with the move, and you're worried that he won't follow..... Honey, if you're having that kind of commitment insecurity now, you better rethink the move in together deal. It tells me that your relationship with him has a lot of maturing to do before you make an economical / financial commitment with him. It took me losing several thousands of dollars to a former BF before I saw the errors of my ways.
If you're feeling guilty about moving before you've moved, then you're going to feel REALLY guilty about moving once you do move. I suggest you sit back and roll that around a few times. In order to relocate successfully, you have to be ready to tackle it when the time comes. That won't happen if there is guilt building about moving. You can't focus on both.
The best thing you can do in order to relocate is save your pennies. HOWEVER... what happens if you and BF get down here, move in for the first time and then realize you all really don't love each other as much as you thought you did??
Moving in with an SO is a huge life change. It is not easy, it will put a strain on the relationship, and it will be the straw that broke the camel's back in so many cases. Take that plus a lifestyle change with a relocation plus a new job .. and you have a recipe for diseaster.
Just a tip from someone who has been around long enough to learn a few lessons, but young enough to keep making mistakes.... If you jump the gun and go ahead with the move, and you're worried that he won't follow..... Honey, if you're having that kind of commitment insecurity now, you better rethink the move in together deal. It tells me that your relationship with him has a lot of maturing to do before you make an economical / financial commitment with him. It took me losing several thousands of dollars to a former BF before I saw the errors of my ways.
the job market is bad.
you will find marketing positions but it'll be hard to find anything else.
save your money and keep planning. its not a good idea to just "gung ho" it...what if you get there and things aren't like you thought? whats your plan b?
are you sure you're ready to move in with a SO? that far away from family? actually, on that subject, why do you want to move to NC in the first place?
I can understand your position wanting to just "gun-ho" and all. But NC's unemployment rating is not so hot and is a state you don't want to just get up and move to without a job. You better atleast attempt to get an interview before you move or save enough money you can live off of for a couple months looking for work.
NC is not the cheapest place to live either, I've lived here since 1993. Apartments are very small and expensive. The law favors the landord, not the tenant. Don't move here, stay where you are, there's nothing like family ties. And go back to college and work on a degree!
1. Go to college and try to find something in the medical field. On Indeed.com, search for the word "Health" in Raleigh, Durham, Cary, Charlotte, and Winston-Salem to see what types of health jobs there are in North Carolina. See if you can get training in Ohio for those types of jobs. Not all health care jobs require working with patients (and body fluids).
You will be busy going to school and studying (and working), and you won't lose your mind being around your grandparents.
2. Stay with your grandparents in order to save money and to help them out. They deserve helping out.
3. Don't move in with your boyfriend. You'll get pregnant, and you'll never get out of debt. You'll never get out of debt even if you don't get pregnant.
4. Once you graduate and have skills that a hospital or health care facility will need, see what the job prospects are (try indeed.com again) in North Carolina.
5. Then you can come down here and pay your bills on your own; you would still probably need a roommate. If your boyfriend doesn't want to come down here with you after all that, that means you probably weren't meant to be together. Find someone with similar goals.
6. But now, don't go "gung-ho" and leave everything without preparing for a decent-paying job in NC. It would be a huuuge mistake.
Last edited by lovebrentwood; 07-12-2009 at 10:37 PM..
thanks everyone for the advice, im giving myself a year to save money and find a job down there, it doesnt have to be in marketing. those are hard to find anywhere. The reason i want to move so bad is that i've lived in ohio for oh 12 years or so, and i just feel so...suffocated by it now. but you all are right, if my bf follows he follows, end of story, im not feeling so much anxiety toward moving (though it is sort of nervous making), but towards the whole bf thing. I just have this feeling....like if i dont leave here i will be so unhappy, i love to travel and i want to see new things and experiences. though as a thought the whole pregnancy comment was a little harsh, but that's ok. small apartments are ok by me i dont have hardly anything, not furniture at least. lets see what you all have to say now.!
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