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I hope that your experience will be different than mine. I moved to Charlotte in April and came back to NY in October. I could not deal with it. People have no idea what driving is.They drive 100 miles per hour and they don't realize that they are in the middle of nowhere.The food will never taste like in NY. However it's cheaper. Well people say you get what you pay for! So good luck to you!
I hope that your experience will be different than mine. I moved to Charlotte in April and came back to NY in October. I could not deal with it. People have no idea what driving is.They drive 100 miles per hour and they don't realize that they are in the middle of nowhere.The food will never taste like in NY. However it's cheaper. Well people say you get what you pay for! So good luck to you!
If we could only get more on the NY'ers to follow your lead and move back.
That said, keep this in mind: are all the disagreeables you meet from the north? Probably....there is an inherent bravado that comes from living up here and the closer to NYC/Boston, the heavier it gets....BUT...that does not mean ALL NYers/northerners act like that and that's my stance.....
Actually, I don't recall a single person claiming that ALL a$$#*l3s are from up north, NY, etc. We ALL know plenty of home-grown twits. Nor is anyone claiming that ALL Northerners/Yankees are rude, loud, pushy, or arrogant. Unfortunately, the stereotypical "Yankee" in some people's eyes--particularly from the NYC metro area--is like that, and as with all stereotypes, when people see a certain kind of person reinforced by a certain demographic time after time, particularly if they don't know many people from that demographic, they tend to associate the rude behavior with the "common trait" (in this case, origin or accent) of those from whom they've experienced it. Not all devout Muslims as terrorists, but many (most?) people all across the USA harbor latent or blatent stereotypes in that direction.
However, many parts of NC have been "beseiged" (if you will ) with Northern transplants for the past 40 years, and those of us who grew up here are well aware that while Southern-bred people do tend to speak more softly, say "hello" to strangers more often, and use other "old-fashioned manners" more often, that the majority of folks moving down from the North are also nice people, even if it takes them some time to adjust to NC "ways" because people don't do that where they come from. Similarly, just because someone has the same accent we do doesn't mean they aren't a complete prick.
If it worries you, just serve as a counterexample, and shatter the stereotypes. When I go North, I am aware of how people will perceive my Southern accent, so I try to "prove them wrong" and say intelligent, non-bigoted things (which I like to think I say no matter what!).
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But I still have the entertaining memory of a cousin from Dallas, who decades ago, had a confederate flag hanging on her wall at an age when I had pictures of David Cassidy on my wall...was a real eye opener about a mindset that sounds alive and well in some pockets of the south.....
Well, the key phrase here is "Decades ago". Bear in mind that Confederate Flags weren't nearly as "horrific" until general sensitivity to social minorities (i.e. "political correctness") evolved in the 80s or so. When I was growing up, a Confederate Flag simply stood for "Southern Pride" in one's heritage, the same way New Englanders or Midwesterners or Californians or [group] have pride in their heritage. Unfortunately, no universal symbol of "Pride in the rich Southern culture" has evolved other than the (very outdated) Confederate flag, which is no longer used in that context, but "decades ago", it might have been a symbol of "I am from the South and I love my heritage" which is NOT the same as saying "I believe the South should have won the war" or "I support slavery" etc.!! That's a very commono misconception of the flag as it was used years ago. (Now is a different story, since many "white Power" groups have adopted the Stars and Bars as their own symbol, leaving us "proud of Southern heritage and culture" folks with no symbol we can use to represent our own background). So unless you have other reasons to believe that your cousin was a racist/bigot, I cut her some slack (unless she is STILL displaying it!). When I was growing up in Raleigh in the 1970s, about half the kids were Southern and about half Northern. It was very commoon to play "Civil War" as a backyard game, the same way you'd play "Cowboys and Indians" or "Good guys and bad guys" etc. Nobody actually thought of it in any historical context, it was just a game that happened to divide by heritage, and nobody actually espoused 1860s "Union" or "Confederate" values. It was simply friendly rivalry, like Duke fans vs Carolina fans, etc.
Those who move here and claim we are "still fighting the Civil War"--yet harbor their own stereotypes about Southerners, as you yourself pointed out--are hypocritical. It's simply not understanding or not being familiar with the "ways" of a different group of people (in both directions), and most of the time, people are interested in learning about the "other" culture. It's only because the influx of Northerners has been SO fast and SO strong that there's been no time for the usual "mixing period" where people learn about each other as individuals, and instead, see others as "large groups". From a native POV, this means several thousands of people with "less polite" ways of interacting coming into our home state and, all too often, telling us we're backwards or we should do it the way they did it up North, etc. It causes one to be defensive when meeting someone from the NOrth, not knowing if they're going to be "that kind of Yankee" or (much more commonly) a friendly new neighbor who's glad to be here, and so people's guard is understandably up.
Again, I say if you set out to be a counterexample, your close friends will see you as just that--a friend, not an "other".
You would've had to have been in the middle of nowhere yourself to have this "information"! Glad you made it home though.
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Originally Posted by monicat
I hope that your experience will be different than mine. I moved to Charlotte in April and came back to NY in October. I could not deal with it. People have no idea what driving is.They drive 100 miles per hour and they don't realize that they are in the middle of nowhere.The food will never taste like in NY. However it's cheaper. Well people say you get what you pay for! So good luck to you!
There seems to be some rudeness coming from BOTH sides in this thread.
People should be judged based on their individual character. Not which part of the country they live in. I've lived in several different states and they all have their share of nice people and not-so-nice people.
They all have people who welcome newcomers and people who have an automatic chip on their shoulder towards newcomers.
Yes, not every new person who moves into an area is going to have a pleasant personality. But not every native person is going to have a pleasant personality either. Which is why you have to give individuals a chance to show who they are, instead of immediately writing them off as a certain kind of person.
Most people in NC are good people and could not care less where you are from. Most people here in NC are friendly and will think you are ok if you just wave at them are say hello. Sure there are some that may be butholes, but as you know you will find those people everywhere. Oh some people may find your accent funny, but you will get a crack out of some of ours too. As far as I know you would be welcomed with open arms here in NC, we are easy going.
1. Make sure you have a job lined up before you move.
2. Rent before you buy to decide if you like the area, heat/humidity, people, culture. It is very different from up North and doesn't work for everyone.
Not really, although many north carolina natives will joke with you about Cary about how it is the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees...lol
I'm sure your first impression is fine, most people will judge you on how you present yourself and not where you're coming from.
....as a native Southerner, these are just a few of the incidents that I have experienced.... the "I'm gonna get there before you", "you people can't drive", insults for my accent, talked down to, almost being mowed down, then cursed at, flipped off, screamed at for daring to think I might cross at a protected pedestrian crosswalk, called a filthy name when I lightly honked my horn to let a cyclist know I was passing(as he was playfully manuvering between two lanes and I needed to get into the turning lane!),cursed at for taking a parking space I had patiently waited for before no one else was around, had one actually taken as I was attempting to back in, and every one of these instances were extremely aggressive.......so yes....most of us DO have a bad taste in our mouth. I have actually had northerners tell me "we had to share" the beautiful coastal regions, mountains, resources, as they came down here "to escape their environments". This, compounded with the fact that no one seems to be teaching their children manners, respect for others, compassion, and raising self centered, rude, irresponsible, and down right mean human beings...has created an attitude for all of us! I WILL, in the mean time, continue to try and be polite, kind, and genuinely caring until it is necessary for me to walk away so I will not become any of the above!!!!
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) with Northern transplants for the past 40 years, and those of us who grew up here are well aware that while Southern-bred people do tend to speak more softly, say "hello" to strangers more often, and use other "old-fashioned manners" more often, that the majority of folks moving down from the North are also nice people, even if it takes them some time to adjust to NC "ways" because people don't do that where they come from. Similarly, just because someone has the same accent we do doesn't mean they aren't a complete prick.
