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I agree with the earlier posters....we have a lesbian couple who lives on my block. She works for the GF police Dept. No problems at all in our neighborhood. Treated with respect and their house is stopped by all the kids at halloween.
The folks I run into and my in-laws who are from here all are the type who dont butt into other people's lives. You are treated with respect unless you do something that shows you have no respect.
We also had a gay guy at my work and he wasnt from here. He is pretty openly gay, and no issues in GF. He was in his 20s.
Like anywhere else...the larger the city the more you will find others like yourself. I dont care who you are, if you move to a very small town, you will probably raise suspicion, just because you are new.
I grew up in ND. I think I saw just as much/little homophobia there as I do in Minneapolis (the gayest city, according to percentage). I agree that in ND, people are more private about their lives than in bigger cities. I think that a bigger city creates a false sense of anonymity, so people talk about sex lives (both gay and straight) more openly. The whole state of ND feels like a small town (seriously, when I meet people on the other side of the state, they always know my parents, or my college roommate, etc.) Because of that, most people are more private about everything.
Also, my impression is that bigger ND towns are so desperate to appear cosmopolitan that they will accept homosexuality...and the smaller ND towns are so off-the-map that they view homosexuality as an exotic bird.
ND residents, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm going off my childhood/college memories.
I grew up in ND. I think I saw just as much/little homophobia there as I do in Minneapolis (the gayest city, according to percentage). I agree that in ND, people are more private about their lives than in bigger cities. I think that a bigger city creates a false sense of anonymity, so people talk about sex lives (both gay and straight) more openly. The whole state of ND feels like a small town (seriously, when I meet people on the other side of the state, they always know my parents, or my college roommate, etc.) Because of that, most people are more private about everything.
Also, my impression is that bigger ND towns are so desperate to appear cosmopolitan that they will accept homosexuality...and the smaller ND towns are so off-the-map that they view homosexuality as an exotic bird.
ND residents, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm going off my childhood/college memories.
What you said to me still holds true. I am not a native of the area....but my wife is and all the in-laws, etc. This is how I have seen it over the past 12 years I have been here. If you stand out or make waves or do something to get noticed, then no matter what sexual preference or race you are looked down upon. If you are a good respectful person, no one cares what you do in your private time.
Q: Are gays welcomed in ND?
As: yes, we love gays here!
Yeah, yeah... all those guys in ND's towns who sit at tables in taverns and drink beer LOVE gays. Who's gonna believe that? Come to one of these pubs with your partner and start kissing... This is fake tolerance and fake information that you were given here.
As you well know, with too many cocktails or beers, anyone's sexual identity can take a tumble. If you go to a straight bar in ND, don't kiss your partner, but if you're there alone at closing time, need some company, make it known you're Gay as you're leaving the bar.
And don't be afraid, if you see a car following you home. Lots of closeted people go to straight bars, even if there's Gay bars in town. And, it just could be someone extremely curious, trapped in that city, never gets to the big city.
I'm Gay, I would have no reservations about moving anywhere in this country, even in the thick of the Appalachin or Ozark mountains. All you need to know is something about men in general.
And, remember, you could move next door to a Gay couple there, and? They may not be friendly to you at all, may snub you, maybe you're too old or young for them.
I lived next door to a Gay couple, and for whatever reason, could barely get a hello out of either of them. So glad they moved, good riddance. Now I have some wonderful, friendly straight people for neighbors!
I had to almost laugh (because I am not sure if the person was seriuos or not)...but a few days ago, they announced Elton John would be performing at the Bismarck Civic Center sometime this spring...all of the comments were positive except one from a lady who was shocked that people would support an artist who is openly gay and living a life that goes against God, etc.... , and she could not understand how the city of Bismarck would allow such a person of "immoral" values perform in a tax payer funded venu. Her post was almost laughable to the point I almost think she was joking...but I'm thinking she was not.
Maybe my take is a bit different than others... or maybe ND has changed.
If I were you, I'd be very reluctant to move to ND. Some place like NY or San Fran, being mistaken for gay (i.e. you trying to pick up a straight male) isn't likely to get you punched in the face. Men in those areas tend to be a bit more metrosexual and may even see it as a bit of a compliment that they're found attractive. In an ultra conservative place like North Dakota, being mistaken for gay is a slight on one's manhood and likely to trip a very homophobic response, potentially violent (not lynching type violent, more black eye type violent).
Also, while it's true you probably won't have people picketing outside your house or men in white hoods trying to start you on fire... in ND I would expect you to be stared at and I can only imagine the amount of gossip. While it's true that they tend to let people live and therefore won't say things to your face, the amount that's said behind people's backs in a place like ND is tremendous. They absolutely LOVE to talk and gossip. Again, not a threat to your physical well being, but something to be aware of.
If you were moving to ND with a social network and a partner, I would say go for it. Without that, I think you'll find ND a VERY lonely place. Based on your desire to be in a metro area versus the middle of nowhere, I don't believe that's truly what you're seeking. As such, I'm not sure ND is right for you. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
I live in ND, and thats EXACTLY the way I would react if some dude tried to hit on me. Oh, by the way, Im a black man in ND and that has NEVER been an issue. I happen to be conservative like most of my friends out here.
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