Small town America, Fessenden, North Dakota (college, living, mold)

[goose7]

You people that claim to live in Fess and go to school there and "love" it - are you for real? Do you also "love" the fact that your neighbors are all so damn nosey they know you're business better than you know it yourself? Oh and to say that kids don't drink there - you are in complete denial about that - ALL they do is drink and "drive" main street - ooh the fun! Come on people - there is more to life than driving around a small town and seeing who will buy the beer for the night - believe me been there (literally) and done that .....

[TravisW]

Originally Posted by goose7

You people that claim to live in Fess and go to school there and "love" it - are you for real? Do you also "love" the fact that your neighbors are all so damn nosey they know you're business better than you know it yourself? Oh and to say that kids don't drink there - you are in complete denial about that - ALL they do is drink and "drive" main street - ooh the fun! Come on people - there is more to life than driving around a small town and seeing who will buy the beer for the night - believe me been there (literally) and done that .....

Fessenden isn't remarkably different from most other small towns in North Dakota, South Dakota, and Minnesota. For that matter, they aren't that remarkably different from most larger towns in a lot of ways. I live in Moorhead, MN, and people can be every bit as nosy as they are around my home town (Maddock, ND). It's just that everybody doesn't know everybody, so the rumor mill grinds in different contexts. Kids drink here, just like they did there. Some people leave here and gripe about it, just like some people leave Maddock (or Fessenden) and gripe about it.

Familiarity breeds contempt. I wish I had a dollar for every kid who, for some seemingly irrational reason, absolutely despises his hometown and all the people from there.

[Stets]

Much of what you say is true. I agree the community is not as tolerant of new blood as we should be. Fessenden is a "closed community" and you can see it by the death of the business district. The community is dying a slow death and the young people can't wait to escape from the small town mentality that is prevalent. If you aren't accepted by the country club elect... then you will never make it in the Fessenden community.

Originally Posted by unwantedoutsiders

You know, there are small towns, and there are SMALL towns. I have been in both. Towns with as little as 350 ppl, and towns with about 10K or 50K. I have also lived in Tucson and Phoenix. Never have I experienced the type of town I am now in! This town has about 550 ppl.

People in small communities are for the most part, accepting. They usually welcome new kids in the schools as it rises the count on the sports teams, and new faces around town as it helps the economic growth. Basically, it helps keep businesses open.

Well, if you are EVER looking for a welcoming community in North Dakota, I suggest you steer clear of Fessenden. Completely! Reason? Well......

1. We arrived here in June. By July we were already being taken advantage of by a local realtor while buying a home.

2. At first kids seemed to be willilng to be friendly, but by the time school started that story changed. Sure there are a few kids who make an expection to the rule. (Actually 3-5 that are totally awesome, but that is it!)
While my son played football he was liked. (he played alot) After season, well, the rumors started to fly. You see, in this town, there are only a few things kids have to do. Drink, do drugs, and talk bad about anyone they can. This is a well known fact. If you don't join what they are doing, they make your day rough.


3. The parents of these kids, well, they think their children can do no wrong. A daughter who is over weight can hit and kick someone because they said something mean. The mom see's nothing wrong with that. Some act as their kids can steal things from school and that is no big deal also. If your child is a guest at someone's home, make sure you warn them that whispering anything can cause a problem, even simply whispering "I need the restroom". People will be polite and let their children invite the outsiders over, but in no way will they let their children come to someone elses home. (except for those few as mentioned in section 2)

4. The school. Well, they talk it up to be spectacular. It is far from it. It is all computer above 5th grade. The football coaches are AWESOME! Yet, the female coach plays favorites so desperately that I really feel sorry for those on the team in 2008-2009. This coach drives the kids around, in a van, yet does not stop at RR crossings, nor does she make sure the team is buckled up with seat belts. I know this as I drove behind them on two different occasions. Yes, I did report it. Funny thing is I haven't heard anything but derogetory remarks about this particular coach.

5. Other than a few exceptional neighbors, and a few upstanding employees of differrent businesses around town, no one tries to befriend you. You can go out of your way to start a conversation with most and you simply get a turned up nose.

6. We moved here to buy a business. Everyone knew who we were, and who we were buying from. No one said anything bad about the seller. We didn't buy the business and are now leaving this place. Now that word spread we weren't buying this business, there are so many things being said about the seller that my ears are ringing.

Rumors are everywhere you live. I understand that. But when a town is this small, a rumor is through it in a day, and twisted evil in the next. If someone can't figure out what is going on, not to worry, someone else will make something up to suit the curiosity.

These kids' parents need to pull their heads out of the sand and see what they are teaching their children. Hate doesn't go far. How will these kids get through life when they are adults and leave the comfort of this little town. If they act like this in bigger cities, they will play hell getting along.

So, pack up, get the uhaul, just keep driving when the sign says Fessenden, North Dakota. You will be glad you didn't stop!!!!

[johnt8921]

ok first of all the family who was "Taken advandage of by the seller of their house" did not make a single payment on that house for the five months that they were there. second i was actually in her sons class and we did try to be friends with him and he just kinda shrugged us off. so we gave up thinking that he didnt wanna be friends and when football came around he only played alot because he was a big kid. he was not at all a good player. and he was replaced by a freshmen. after the football season ended he told everyone that he had bipolar disorder. Some day around the dnd of the season he got mad at my little 7th grade brother and threw him up against a wall. my brother is a tough kid so he didnt think much of it. then Matt started threatening to kill many people in our class so he actuall was sent to spen a night in the jamestown hospital. concerning their daughter, just because your daughter doesnt play the most in the game doesnt make her coach the worst coach on earth, it just imply means that your daughter isnt very good at the game. so what big deal. concerning their plans to "buy a buisness" they couldnt even make a payment on their house but they could afford to buy a resturant???????? that confuses me. besides when they all of a sudden showed up in town. nobody knew who they were and nobody knew what their intentions were. but if ur goung to come to a town and try to establish yourself atleast make the payments on ur freaking house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in short the people of Fessenden try hard to help anyone who visits and will gladly let youy build her if you want. but we like our town the way it is and there is always room for more people.

[johnt8921]

If any body thinks that the only thing that we happen to do in this town is drink and drive they are WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean sure there is drinking going on on the weekends but its not like thats the only thing giong on. besides if you dont want your kid to frink watch him/her more carefully. its not our fault ur stupid

[B.Lea.22]

The original poster is angry with our community because she thinks her children weren't accepted. She calls us drunks, but she apparently doesn't know that her own son went out drinking and later bragged about it in school. She accuses a local realtor of taking advantage of her when she lived here for several months without paying rent or payments of any sort - of course after she signed a contract. In all honesty, I don't believe she was taken advantage of, when in reality WE were the ones being taken advantage of. We are an accepting community if you make an effort. I can't honestly say I knew much about her daughter's life in school, but her son was accepted as a football player and a fellow student... at first, but he picked fights with other students and was disrespectful and rude towards teachers, coaches, and other students. Her son blamed his attitude on bipolar disorder; which he claimed to be taking medication for (it didn't seem to be helping). He had no respect for girls, to him they were only objects; he was very sexist. I can't imagine he came up with his personality and attitude out of the blue.
All I have to say in defense of my community is that we aren't all that the original poster makes us out to be... we are so much MORE! Sure some residents do enjoy an occasional drink, but what community doesn't have those people? And of course a community will not accept a person who isn't friendly or respectful. The school isn't a horrible place, it is as most schools are - a respectable place of learning. I am currently a Junior at the Fessenden-Bowdon Public School and I have a 4.0 GPA. I think many of you don't have a right to say that we are small-minded or insinuate that we are ignorant or stupid people.

[TravisW]

This thread is showing that while the internet promises some anonymity, there is very little anonymity when talking about a small town. There are also a few sides to every story, as evidenced above. Everybody doesn't like every place, but it's never right to paint with such a broad brush, especially in a public forum. It's pretty easy to smear a town of 550 people, because who can guarantee that somebody from that town will come to this corner of internet-land to defend it?

[unwantedoutsiders]

First off, we were buying a manure hauling business NOT A RESTAURANT! (although that family has since left too) Secondly, I NEVER said the seller took advantage, I said the realtor! And yes, every payment was made and we have reciepts AND copies of the checks from the sellers bank showing such payments, and we were even given back $1000.00 directly from the seller upon our leaving. I never said the seller was the problem. The realtor withheld information about the home until July 3rd, we were due to close within days. By then we were moved in and had no choice but to sign the papers and loose the $10,000.00 (TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS) that we had handed him the day we moved in, which was also the day we arrived into town!


And yes since someone mentioned my MINOR sons name, yes, Matt is Bi-Polar and is on meds. He never went to the freakin psyc unit, he went to the police LOUNGE overnight for what they called a time out. This particular event all happened on what would have been his brothers 28th birthday, which was halloween, but he passed away in 2000. This is ABSOLUTELY ONE DAY that he has ALWAYS had a difficult time functioning, but he tried. The reason he went to time out was because he and I got into an argument and he asked to go. We argued about who he would be running around town with while my daughters and I were out for trick or treating. Fortunately he wasn't standing next to the railroad tracks with the crowd he wanted to go with. Do your parents know you play on the tracks? I could show you some photos of what happens to kids on the tracks, as my husband has worked RR for 17 years MINUS the 5 months in fessenden!


Matt did make a few friends there, so did my girls. Those friends still stay in touch.

Also I never said that my daughter should play because she was good, jesus, it was her FIRST year at trying volleyball. All I said was that the team should've been treated fairly and EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE HAD FAIR TIME! Isn't that why they call volleyball a team sport? And I believe it is a LAW for students in a school VAN to be seatbelted. If they were stuffed under the seat coach should have DUG them out to ensure other peoples childrens safety! PERIOD! And railroad crossings are a mandatory stop when any school vehicle is transporting children.


I never once stated that my children were perfect little angels. I never said they've done no wrong. But I can say they do pay the consequences when they do something wrong. I don't just let it slide.


If Fessenden is your cup of tea than more power to ya. You have your opinion and I certainly am allowed to mine. But DON'T accuse us of NOT PAYING when we put well over $13K into that home and then walked away from it all, signing it back over to the seller. Talk to the sellers and get your information correct before you accuse, or spread word of what you have no clue. Like my back window states.....Pee Pee on gossip and rumors!

I never said EVERYONE was crappy, did I? NO I did not! I never actually stated anyones name! But the way most of the young Fessenden residents' replies sound, you'd think I was right with the original post.

[roundball]

Oh, snap!............... I love this thread.

[What!]

Originally Posted by roundball

Oh, snap!............... I love this thread.

Yup. This little small town dispute is way more interesting than those endlessly boring Chicago vs. Los Angeles threads in the General U.S. forum.