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And ya'll'll probably think I'm a really rotten Mom, but, here goes.
Our daughter is 24, tall (5'9"), blonde, blue-eyed, and smart-mouthed. She has a Biology degree and loves lab work. She is currently underemployed in a path lab where they look for cancer cells in biopsies, but she would rather do research. (She was a research assistant in college and has helped with several papers, etc.) She would love to move out when we do this year, but she is afraid that she would not find any employment.
Mostly, though, she has never met any really nice guys. She has dated a few, but they all either want her to give up her job and be a little hausfrau (which she will NEVER do - she is a very independent worker bee who fought HARD to get her degree) - or they want to quit THEIR jobs and let her support them! One even told us that was why he was dating her! (Can you still hear my quiet screams???)
Anyway, I'd like to know if there are any decent jobs for her, or decent men in ND who are not intimidated by a tough little lady who knows karate and likes to run, who can ride a motorcycle, change the oil and rotate the tires on her own pickup, and work a 60 hour work week, and who still is a lot of fun to be around? I keep telling her that the guys she met here and in college are nothing like the guys who were raised with farm work and moral values, but she's never been west of the Mississippi and never met any real men (IMHO! )! Ex. For extra money in college, she would change the oil, points and plugs for the guys who didn't know how on her college campus, and worked summers installing drywall and tile...
Where should we go for her to look for jobs, or meet decent single guys? I'm not the overprotective type (her Dad is) but I do wish she could meet someone who could respect what and who she is without taking advantage of her good nature.
Anyway, I'd like to know if there are any decent jobs for her, or decent men in ND who are not intimidated by a tough little lady who knows karate and likes to run, who can ride a motorcycle, change the oil and rotate the tires on her own pickup, and work a 60 hour work week, and who still is a lot of fun to be around? //Unquote
Hey, all the women up in this area know how to do those things. She won't be a misfit.
Whew, Thanks, Jammie! I've tried explaining that to her. We've lived all over, and we insisted that all our kids be multi-talented and multi-educated, but unfortunately that makes them misfits here. I know she'd fit in better in ND, but helping her see that is going to take awhile!
Be checking the positions at NDSU (Fargo - biology, phamacology, and Ag-related research) or UND (Grand Forks - medical school related research) for research positions that she could qualify for. Both U's have expanding research programs. She might also try a company like PRACS, a drug research company based in Fargo (and has offices in East Grand Forks.) If she really wants to move up in the biology field, she'll likely need an advanced degree.
Thanks, fourwinds. I wasn't sure how advanced those programs were, or if they like most universities used the students for the grunt work rather than employing from outside. She is going to go back to school; she is paying off her student loans right now. She hates debt.
Though I personally am not in biology, I know others with that degree (and my husband before he wend to Medical school
Basically, she has to get a masters or phd. A bachelors in biology is a stepping stone and won't get you too far if you want to move up. There are so many around here that often they are waiting tables!
As for meeting men, she's only 24, she has plenty of time, focus on herself and her career and whatever is important to her, that is the best way to meet the right person and everything else will fall into place. Good luck!
Having lived in both the south and upper great plains, I can tell you that general perceptions of women are very different. As Jammie said, women up here tend to be self-sufficient and independent (although I've met some who aren't) and the men act accordingly. So she might like the midwest guys very well, although tell her not to be surprised when a guy goes through the door ahead of her and doesn't hold it open. It's not meant to be offensive and lots of guys here hold doors open, but just don't be surprised if that and many other "chivalrous" gestures don't happen.
This was an old joke that I remember when I was growing up, but it kind of depicts the way it is up here. This man and woman were married and they decided to build a garage. The first year of marriage the husband asked his wife to hold the flashlight for him. The second year he told her, "As long as you're standing there holding the flashlight, you may as well pound a few nails in, too." The third year of marriage, the husband came around the corner and said, "Aren't you finished with your half yet?"
I know, it's kind of silly and is lacking in common sense, but like Sugarbeet said, women are generally quite self-sufficient up here. Things have changed quite a bit, but in the past it was nothing for a woman to be out doing chores and then help in the field all day long. I've seen some women who could fix a tractor better then their husbands could.
This isn't meant as a man-bashing post, but seriously, SC, I don't think your daughter would have a problem up here. (Keep in mind though that I am one state south of you, but we're not that different)
to the OP--------perhaps the reason she has a hard time fitting in where she is ( and will have a hard time anywhere ) is the phrase smart-mouthed
I fail to see why anyone who has that trait would consider it a plus for "fitting in" (whether they be a young male or female)
also surprised that a mother would be proud of that trait in one of her kids.
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, but, here goes.
)! Ex. For extra money in college, she would change the oil, points and plugs for the guys who didn't know how on her college campus, and worked summers installing drywall and tile...
) but I do wish she could meet someone who could respect what and who she is without taking advantage of her good nature.
