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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 06-23-2010, 02:28 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,095 posts, read 32,437,200 times
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No I do not think Magritte meant it THAT way. I think what she said was that kids should be permitted to express their feelings - and in that way I agree with her,
She has young kids.
Things are different with teens.
I ALWAYS want to know how my kids feel - but I do not want them to manipulate me with there changing needs and desires. Many of which are transient and unrealistic.

Children HAVE TO HAVE A SAFE HAVEN - a place where they are accepted and that they can vent without fear of reprisal.

But PARENTS must always be in charge.
They have to know that they are secure, and heard - but that in the end the adults make the decisions.
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:53 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnqpublic View Post
How is teaching a child that there are responsibilities punishing them??
Helping maintain the roof they live under doesnt seem like punishment to me...

Giving a child responsibilities is one thing. Punishing them with chores when they dare voice their boredom during summer recess is wrong, IMO. Two totally different things.
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:54 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
No I do not think Magritte meant it THAT way. I think what she said was that kids should be permitted to express their feelings - and in that way I agree with her,
She has young kids.
Things are different with teens.
I ALWAYS want to know how my kids feel - but I do not want them to manipulate me with there changing needs and desires. Many of which are transient and unrealistic.

Children HAVE TO HAVE A SAFE HAVEN - a place where they are accepted and that they can vent without fear of reprisal.

But PARENTS must always be in charge.
They have to know that they are secure, and heard - but that in the end the adults make the decisions.
Right. But not only that, the kid in the OP is a 13 yr old boy who has just moved to a new area and has no friends. Why oh why would a parent punish their child, who is obviously lonely and has NO social life at the moment, when he expresses his boredom and/or lonlieness?

That makes no sense to me.
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:58 PM
 
1,305 posts, read 2,623,261 times
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Really? so ones down time has to be filled with bowls of cherries??? IF the child is bored and has nothing to do there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving him chores that need to be done, it frees up time for everyone so that they might have time to spend having fun TOGETHER!!!!!!

sorry , but I dont see punishment in any way shape or form What I do see is teaching a child responsibility and time management and that life isnt all just fun and games.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:05 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnqpublic View Post
Really? so ones down time has to be filled with bowls of cherries??? IF the child is bored and has nothing to do there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving him chores that need to be done, it frees up time for everyone so that they might have time to spend having fun TOGETHER!!!!!!

sorry , but I dont see punishment in any way shape or form What I do see is teaching a child responsibility and time management and that life isnt all just fun and games.

No! That is not what I said in the least! Trust me - if my son comes to me and tells him I'm bored I certainly don't kiss his cute little butt. I tell him to go read, play with his brother, watch a movie etc. But I certainly do NOT punish him for stating his opinions, thoughts or feelings by telling him to clean the house for daring to say something so horrible.

And the way it was stated by theater gypsy was not so the family could spend time together. It was purely to tell the kid "Don't you DARE say you are bored. Find something to do WITHOUT bothering me or you will be sorry."

What I see is telling a child that he can't express a very common feeling (boredom/lonlieness) without being put to work. That is very, very wrong. I get bored sometimes and I'm an adult.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:13 PM
 
1,305 posts, read 2,623,261 times
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"I get bored sometimes and I'm an adult."

Maybe the lawn needs mowing !!! LMAO!!!
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:14 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnqpublic View Post
"I get bored sometimes and I'm an adult."

Maybe the lawn needs mowing !!! LMAO!!!
LOL. That's one of my hubby's jobs.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:21 PM
 
1,305 posts, read 2,623,261 times
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slacker !!!!!!!
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:51 AM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,727 posts, read 9,946,672 times
Reputation: 20483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
No! That is not what I said in the least! Trust me - if my son comes to me and tells him I'm bored I certainly don't kiss his cute little butt. I tell him to go read, play with his brother, watch a movie etc. But I certainly do NOT punish him for stating his opinions, thoughts or feelings by telling him to clean the house for daring to say something so horrible.

And the way it was stated by theater gypsy was not so the family could spend time together. It was purely to tell the kid "Don't you DARE say you are bored. Find something to do WITHOUT bothering me or you will be sorry."

What I see is telling a child that he can't express a very common feeling (boredom/lonlieness) without being put to work. That is very, very wrong. I get bored sometimes and I'm an adult.
Wow! Did you put your own spin on my statement.

I just typed a rather lengthy post defending my position. Then I decided there was no need to defend my position. You have decided, mistakenly, that you know what I meant. You were incorrect, but since you are entitled to your opinion, you'll get no further rebuttal from me.

Note to TBT: Go ahead.
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Old 06-24-2010, 05:50 AM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Wow! Did you put your own spin on my statement.

I just typed a rather lengthy post defending my position. Then I decided there was no need to defend my position. You have decided, mistakenly, that you know what I meant. You were incorrect, but since you are entitled to your opinion, you'll get no further rebuttal from me.

Note to TBT: Go ahead.
Quote:
I always had the answer for a kid who was "bored". A bucket of water, a mop and a broom. And when you finish that, the grass needs to be cut and the weeds pulled.

Let me tell you, the boredom disappeared pronto, and the kid found activities and friends to occupy the time. Today, the times being what they are, the kid would probably turn me into Family Services for slavery.

If I mistook your statement, then I do apologize. I don't know why you and others here get so OTT upset when you are misunderstood. It happens, especially on message boards, where tone and intent are hard to read.

Last edited by Magritte25; 06-24-2010 at 06:07 AM..
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