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I read your post and I saw myself in you. We are originally from NYS. We were attracted to NEPA because of it's natural beauty and relative proximity to NYC. The cost of living is low.
Yes. People are superficially friendly. However, if you are complining about a "closed off-ness" in Harrisburg, expect the same, or worse, in NEPA. :::snip, snip:::
You and Warren didn't just move to Northeastern PA, but Wilkes-Barre. You bought a house across the street from a small apartment building which was being renovated--no long term tenants--which was soon filled with ghetto types. Paul, Steel city Rising, complained about that area when he attended Kings College. It was, is, a declining neighborhood. Maybe it has bottomed out by now.
You didn't move from just anywhere in New York State, but Long Island. That's a bit different than moving from up state. You had an accent, sorry, and you were vegan.
When I lived there as an adult, I didn't belong to a church, my family didn't own guns, I became vegetarian, and the people with whom I went to high school weren't my best friends.
Many people in many areas spend most of their time working, commuting, doing house or yard work, and caring for their children. When you live near family, there are obligations. No one wants to be your new friend when you're helping a sibling move--for a month--or caring for an ill parent.
Forestforthetrees, my husband and I made friends when we joined clubs and organizations of interest to us and volunteered. Like-minded people will like you. My husband's father bought him a lifetime American Legion membership. There was always something going on there. They have a lot of fundraisers, like BBQs, biker runs, tag sales. They support a lot of charities.
My husband loved to play pool and occasionally joined a league. Some of the members were white collar guys. My husband was. There's something special about watching a cardiologist run a table in a dive bar.
I was more the book club, gardening, historical society type. While I enjoyed it, I didn't make any lasting friendships.
The real goldmine was the hikers, geocachers, letterboxers. They're the nicest people I've ever met. We didn't just walk around in the woods. We had pot luck lunches at state parks, rented cabins at Ricketts Glenn, a couple of houses in Rehoboth, stayed in Alexandria, camped at Washington Crossing State Park, among other places. Most of the people are in the 30 to 50 something age range, but there are some younger people and seniors, too. Kids are always welcome.
You and Warren didn't just move to Northeastern PA, but Wilkes-Barre. You bought a house across the street from a small apartment building which was being renovated--no long term tenants--which was soon filled with ghetto types. Paul, Steel city Rising, complained about that area when he attended Kings College. It was, is, a declining neighborhood. Maybe it has bottomed out by now.
I get angry at Sheena and Warren because so many on CD tried to help them. One of our members even offered to let them and their son stay in their house until the problems were resolved. I look back and there were a few posters that saw them for what they were; I now believe they were correct. Sheena and Warren cannot accept the fact that they were the ones that made the mistakes and not us.
All anybody has to do is ask why, somebody that has not lived here for a few years, has time to write 715 words condemning an area that they once praised. Their whole history is here in the CD archives if anybody wants to take the time to look it up. I spent many hours trying to help them and sympathizing with them only to now listen to them come back from time to time and bad mouth our whole area because of their mistake. No good deed ever goes unpunished! Many of us are very sorry we ever tried to help!
forest, some people like to hunt. Some people can't afford to dorm. Some people are content with their families and churches. Doesn't make them wrong or bad.
The key to being accepted is to arrive without expectations and respect the area and the people for what and who they are. People eat, exchange pleasantries and go home. Hard to know what more you can expect. Hell, even family members do that.
Perhaps you would fare better to move to a more urban area with the same climate and take advantage of the natural beauty by spending time in the state parks. In a populated scene, you might stand more of a chance to meet more people with whom to interact rather than isolating yourself.
Of course, you could always move to Ohio and find a friendly face there.
Yeah, besides the lousy colleges that only the (ignorant) locals attend, as Obama and Hillary said...the inbred, classless and tasteless deplorables just cling to their guns and Bibles.
... We have other people that love our communities. We always loved our community and had no major problems. ...
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Originally Posted by MaverickDD
... We are wanted here. My observation is that anyone who's a new asset to the community tends to be welcomed with open arms. Are you good people? Then we want you here.
The success or failure of most businesses rests upon its people skills. Employment Rule #1: Attractions get hired. Distractions get fired.
It's similar within most communities. Neighborhood Rule #1: Assets get welcomed. ...
All rules have their exceptions, but generally they hold.
Everyone: Thank you so, so much for all the responses! Not only are your comments immensely encouraging, but they're helping me to clarify for you what exactly we're looking for... (It was very hard to put into words in my initial post.)
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Originally Posted by MaverickDD
But what do you mean by "people a little different"?
Hmm, it's hard to qualify, isn't it? Here's an example that might help. The house we currently live in has 8 neighbors immediatelly surrounding us; we've all got yards just barely bigger than our houses so we're in very close company. Shortly after we moved here I made 8 mini pumpkin spice cakes and attached a card with the recipe and our names and contact info on the back. We then knocked on all our neighbors' doors to introduce ourselves and say how happy we were to have moved here. The reaction we got from most of our neighbors was...I can only describe it as bewilderment. I mean they all seemed pleased, and happy to meet us, but it was like nobody had ever done anything like that before and they didn't understand quite why were were doing it. Their reaction still kind of baffles me; it's like fundamentally we're coming from different places. I was raised to be open, friendly, and giving; maybe it's a midwest thing? Or maybe people are just more guarded here in the Burg?
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One deciding factor that brought us to the Poconos wasn't just "what place do we want to be at" but "what place wants us here." We are wanted here. My observation is that anyone who's a new asset to the community tends to be welcomed with open arms.
Well that is excellent news! We're looking forward to putting ourselves out there and doing whatever we can to enrich the community we end up being a part of. At least I hope so... What qualities do you consider an asset? Unfortunately here, my offers for help or suggestions for improvement seem to be taken wrong, as if by suggesting alternatives or questioning the way things are done, I'm threatening the very status quo. But in reality, I'm truly just trying to be a helpful citizen. Again, something seems to be fundamentally misunderstood!
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Are you good people? Then we want you here.
Well gosh I hope so!!
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Originally Posted by Gerania
The real goldmine was the hikers, geocachers, letterboxers. They're the nicest people I've ever met.
Wonderful! We're big hikers, and love the thrill of finding hidden treasures. Thanks for the tip!
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Originally Posted by fisheye
Many of us recommend that people rent or vacation in our area first. Get some first hand experience.
Absolutely. I've been lurking on these forums for years and we do plan to spend enough time in the area to get a good feel for it. I just thought I'd throw this post up first and see what came up! Plus we still have to narrow down which area of the three...
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Originally Posted by Wells5
If you're intent on staying within the northeast, look into Brattleboro, VT. You will find many kindred spirits living there. There are reasonably priced homes on acreage across the Connecticut River in Cheshire County, NH. Acreage is hard to find in the Pocono area.
I'm not too worried about finding land. We're hoping for at least 10 acres so we can do Clean & Green and really live out in the woods. That's the dream! We did look into VT & NH but unfortunately that's too far away from our relatives in MD.
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Originally Posted by theatergypsy
Perhaps you would fare better to move to a more urban area with the same climate and take advantage of the natural beauty by spending time in the state parks. In a populated scene, you might stand more of a chance to meet more people with whom to interact rather than isolating yourself.
Nah, more than anything else, we need to be in the woods. We just don't want to be totally alone in the woods.
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Originally Posted by PAhippo
But I really don't understand what you want or expect. You homeschool, work at home, don't get involved in religious or political organizations. Seems like you're closing yourselves off which is fine if that's the lifestyle you want to live. It just seems like you want something inconsistent with that lifestyle.
You're right, it is a bit of a paradox. But the choices that feel right to us, that "close us off", are exactly why we NEED to be able to have some kind of connection with other people. We fully intend on immersing ourselves in groups with similar interests, like so many here have suggested. But I don't want to be ostracized or judged for having an atypical lifestyle. I guess that's the point of my original post. Will we be ostracized or judged for living differently, if we try in other ways to be connected? Or is too different just too different?
Chiming in here.
We bought our "vacation house" 10 years ago and used it for about 7 years as a weekend/vacation house. We got to know our neighbors and our community. Rented it for one year, and then my husband has been living there full time for the past 2 years, I joined him in June of this year full time. I find our neighbors to be wonderful people, they keep an yet on our property when we are not there and my hubby will plow our elderly neighbors driveway in the winter. Our neighbors always invite us for parties and we do the same with them.
We had moved from Long Island to Pittsburgh over 6 years ago and absolutely hated Pittsburgh. Work was difficult to get and it is very parochial so you need to have contacts for jobs. Our kids were in middle school thru high school and I made not one friend in the well off school district (number 1 in the area).It was very cliquish and very non inviting. Not at all the same as the school that my kids went to on Long Island.
So now we are in NEPA full time. We both work full time in the freight industry. I find most of the people at work to be extremely nice, helpful and decent people. Yes, most are younger than me so I wouldn't really be hanging out with them, but they are hard working, respectful and decent people.Many are from New Jersey or New York and I think it helps a lot. In Pittsburgh, most people were from that area and really were not transplant friendly.
I love it here ; always did. It suits our purpose as it is close to the airports, close to NYC which we love, and close to our friends on Long Island. Our kids stayed in Pittsburgh for college and they are the only thing we miss about Pittsburgh.
Shortly after we moved here I made 8 mini pumpkin spice cakes and attached a card with the recipe and our names and contact info on the back. We then knocked on all our neighbors' doors to introduce ourselves and say how happy we were to have moved here. The reaction we got from most of our neighbors was...I can only describe it as bewilderment. I mean they all seemed pleased, and happy to meet us, but it was like nobody had ever done anything like that before and they didn't understand quite why were were doing it. Their reaction still kind of baffles me; it's like fundamentally we're coming from different places. I was raised to be open, friendly, and giving; maybe it's a midwest thing? Or maybe people are just more guarded here in the Burg?
Well no surprise there!! Mayberry RFD is long gone and just a memory on MeTV channel 159 on Blue Ridge Cable. You're lucky you didn't get shot for crossing onto someone else's property. In this day of identity fraud why would you so freely share your contact info with strangers you've never met is beyond me!! Some say I'm just a paranoid but I just prefer to live in reality. Working 27 years in IT taught me not to be too open with my personal life.
Well no surprise there!! Mayberry RFD is long gone and just a memory on MeTV channel 159 on Blue Ridge Cable. You're lucky you didn't get shot for crossing onto someone else's property. In this day of identity fraud why would you so freely share your contact info with strangers you've never met is beyond me!! Some say I'm just a paranoid but I just prefer to live in reality. Working 27 years in IT taught me not to be too open with my personal life.
So you are saying the first response, in your area, upon seeing a family with small children bearing baked goods walking up the driveway, is to grab a gun?
I consider befriending the human beings who live in the closest physical proximity to me for the next several years--whose houses I can actually see inside of standing INSIDE our house--and entrusting them with such highly personal info as our names and home phone number (so that they can, as I put it that day I met them "give me a call if you need a cup of sugar or happen to notice that our house is on fire or someone's climbing into the upstairs window, ha ha") to be *strengthening* our position, not weakening it.
If you can't understand why I did something like that, I think you may be proving my point of a fundamental misunderstanding here. Are you really that distrustful of the people who live adjacent to you? And if that is the case, are you a typical example of the attitude in the poconos?
Well no surprise there!! Mayberry RFD is long gone and just a memory on MeTV channel 159 on Blue Ridge Cable. You're lucky you didn't get shot for crossing onto someone else's property. In this day of identity fraud why would you so freely share your contact info with strangers you've never met is beyond me!! Some say I'm just a paranoid but I just prefer to live in reality. Working 27 years in IT taught me not to be too open with my personal life.
Give me a flippin' break. If a new neighbor brought a cake to your house, after performing a background check, you'd eat it and lick the plate. You know you would.
Guys.
Last edited by Gerania; 10-08-2018 at 10:09 PM..
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Plus we still have to narrow down which area of the three...
