relocating to northern va from long island ny (Chesapeake, Arlington: real estate, insurance)

[pstry4]

my husband and i are middle aged and have 2 teenage daughters,a 24 year old son still living at home and a 20 year old son in the coast guard.One of our daughters will be graduating hs this june and the other is in 10th grade. my husband and i own a home in western suffolk, Long Island NY on the south shore. we have a decent amount of equity in our home and really want to sell and relocate to Northern VA. I am a teacher working in private school and have been trying to find a public school job with no luck for 2 years now.We are just so tired of struggling to make it work financially here on Long Island and would like an easier lifestyle.We will miss the extended family but the kids are on board. we will be leaving our 24 year old behind for now and joining our 20 year old who is stationed in VA.Does anyone have any opinion or insight about our decision to leave LI for Northern VA?We are looking in Fredericksburg, have a sister near there,want some nightlife, shopping, restaurants, but am also a nature lover and hike, bike and walk for leisure. I need to be around culture...love the library and movies. My biggest concern is that my daughter has to make new friends in a new hs. I want their transition to be for the better.
Any thoughts anyone?...

[Gottasay]

I would hang in there two more years until your 10th grader graduates. A move like that can be be very difficult for a teenager (and ultimately, you will bear the brunt of it). The circumstances you are in aren't that unbearable are they? You say that everyone is onboard, but are you sure? Some teens don't always express themselves very well or think through the implications of their decisions.

[pstry4]

well actually it was the daughters who started the thought process because they are really upset with the decline of the school atmosphere.I'm not very pleased with the degeneration of our public HS both socially and academically.The faculty-student interaction is very unprofessional. My oldest couldnt cope with the social pressure and had to take this year in Private school where I work. I do think my 10th grader is apprehensive about leaving the class she would graduate with but also craves a better life. we cannot see a light at all. Constant hardship financially which causes so much stress.

[ICS67]

The first thought that comes to mind -- as has been said many times previously on this forum to other people thinking of relocating here -- is to ask whether your husband has a firm job offer. While the northern Virginia economy is among the strongest in the nation, it would IMO be risky to move down here and expect to land a job right away. Besides the federal government itself, there is a lot of emplyment by companies involved with government contracting, but as you may know there have been calls in Congress to reduce such contracting costs.

If you and/or your husband do have a firm job lined up in NoVA, I'd suggest that proximity to the job (as well, of course, as your budget) be a major factor in determining where you live. Traffic in the Washington metro region is horrendous, and we have the dubious distinction of the second worst traffic congestion in the nation after Los Angeles. Hour-long commutes are frequent, whether by car or by public transportation. Public transporartion is not as widespread in NoVA as it is in the metro New York region, but Metro (the subway) does serve Arlington, Alexandria, and Fairfax County, and the Virginia Rail Express, similar to the LIRR, provides commuter service to a few parts of NoVA.

I think that while housing costs might be only slighly lower here than on Long Island, you probably would pay less in state income tax and almost certainly less in property taxes. The 'feel' of a lot of NoVA might not be that different from Suffolk County, with large tracts of typical post-war suburban housing, a diverse population, and a few areas that are run-down and/or to be avoided. Schools on the whole are quite good in NoVA. You'll have some nightlife, all the major retailers for shopping, and just about any restaurant cuisine you want (although I doubt you'll find as good Italian food or bagels as what you get in NY!). As for nature, while you won't have beaches at your fingertips as on Long Island, you can make the drive to the Maryland and Delaware beaches, although on summer weekends it seems as if half the region's population is driving there with you. You'll also have beautiful Virginia countryside -- rolling countryside, farms and vineyards, mountains -- within an easy drive to the west of the built-up areas of NoVA.

Good luck with your plans.

[robbobobbo]

Originally Posted by pstry4

we have a decent amount of equity in our home and really want to sell and relocate to Northern VA.

You may not have much, if any, of your equity left over after purchasing a home in NOVA, although you mentioned Fredericksburg, which is lower-priced than housing in Northern Virginia proper. Fredericksburg is a bit outside what most people consider to be NOVA's boundaries. It's about as south as anyone who's working near DC but wants cheaper real estate would consider living.

I am a teacher working in private school and have been trying to find a public school job with no luck for 2 years now.

Are you thinking of moving here with no job lined up?

We are just so tired of struggling to make it work financially here on Long Island and would like an easier lifestyle.

"Easier lifestyle" and "not struggling financially" are not hallmarks of Northern Virginia! But Fredericksburg does have lower prices and I've heard a slower, more relaxed way of life. However, closer-to-DC Northern Virginia is anything but. It's not NYC-level hectic, but read through posts on the NOVA forum to see that "struggling to make it work financially" is an oft-repeated concern in this area as well. Housing prices are a major factor in this.

We are looking in Fredericksburg, have a sister near there,want some nightlife, shopping, restaurants, but am also a nature lover and hike, bike and walk for leisure. I need to be around culture...love the library and movies.

Bear in mind that the places with the most "buzz" and vibrancy in terms of nightlife, entertainment, and dining are closer in to DC, where prices and stress level (for some) are higher. Fredericksburg may suit you fine, especially if the library and mainstream movies make you content, and you could travel into DC for the things you won't find in Fredericksburg.

You won't have to travel far from Fredericksburg to find lots of outdoor activities. Mountains in one direction, the Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay in another.

My biggest concern is that my daughter has to make new friends in a new hs. I want their transition to be for the better.
Any thoughts anyone?...

There may be some adjustments to make, as there often are when moving to a different state. Other forumites can tell if Fredericksburg is really "country" or not, and if that poses any culture shock to a New Yorker. Fredericksburg gets joked about as being redneck - I'm not one to say it is or isn't (or if it's even a detriment if it is), since I don't live there and only occasionally visit. Personally, I find Fredericksburg appealing although I haven't experienced much of it.

I don't know how Fredericksburg schools rate, other than that if you are reading how great Northern Virginia schools are, don't assume Fredericksburg is included in that. Fairfax County (and I believe now Loudoun County) schools are the leaders that get written about in various magazines and ratings.

[normie]

Schools here are generally very good. However, I don't know if this also applies to the Fredericksburg schools. (I don't know why it wouldn't, but I don't want to say something that I don't know for sure.) It might be hard for your daughter to make friends, but if she is behind the idea maybe that's not a big concern. My family moved when I was in high school and it didn't affect me that much, but everyone is different.

One big difference between Long Island and Nova is that the ocean is a 2-3 hour drive away. Now, down in Fredericksburg you're relatively close to a section of the Chesapeake that gets very wide, so that might make up for it. Still a river is not the ocean. I don't know if that's a big issue for you or not, but I thought I'd mention it.

Also, some people care deeply about living in historic areas. If that's important to you, most of the communities in Nova are much younger than the ones in Suffolk County. you'll find a small amount of historic homes and sections of town, but mostly this area was built in the last few decades.

Personally, I think Virginia's a wonderful place. Please feel free to ask lots of questions, and maybe we can get an idea if it'll be a wonderful place for you, too.

[normie]

Originally Posted by robbobobbo

Are you thinking of moving here with no job lined up?

Oh, good catch! I totally agree. I never recommend moving here unless you already have a job lined up. Yes, Nova has jobs but the hiring process is slow and sometimes it can take a lot longer than you think to get one of them.

[pstry4]

I thank everyone for the hasty feedback...it's a big help to here such insight.Just to add a few more details to our situation as an update to your comments...as previously stated we have a decent amount of equity in our home and so most likely will have no mortgage or barely none. We pay very high taxes here on LI... approx. 8,000.00 plus annual flood insurance. Also we already have an incoming monthly income which will cover living expenses although not in any way enable us to not work at all. Not having a mortgage and lower taxes will take years off our current stress level. I guess my biggest concern is culture shock for my 15 year old. I am worried with the direction the teenagers choose to take on a social level here.I have been blessed with children who possess strong leadership qualities and have not had a major problem with falling to peer pressure although have lost many friends to it.My daughter has been able to remain separated from following the downward spiral of unethical and immoral behavior that most of her peers are involved with here. There seems to be a definite breakdown of values here in Suffolk county in the past few years and it is evident in the public schools.In my opinion "wholesome values" are becoming a memory here on LI.

[normie]

Kids who want to get into trouble can find it, IMO. On the other hand, Nova is sometimes called a "sunshine and puppies" type of area for a reason. A lot of communities have a clean cut, pleasantville, all-the-kids-are-in-socccer-teams-or-band-or-theater-groups sort of vibe, especially the farther away you get from DC. There are also lots of SAHMs here. (But, to repeat what I noted above, those who want to get into trouble can find it).

One thing that might give a little bit of culture shock is that people are fairly, well, polite here. Maybe it's a matter of being diplomatic, (since some people say it's because we have such a mixture of cultures). Those who are used to dropping the F-word left and right, or speaking ghetto-talk, or making racist/bathroom type jokes can feel uncomfortable because their jokes tend to bomb. It's not that you don't hear it, but it's not as common here as in some cities. Also, educated langauge is common. You don't have to have a degree, but speaking intelligently is valued. I don't mean that you have to use big words (in fact, please don't!). Just avoid the ghetto talk, and you'll be fine.

[pstry4]

Thanks Normie! That's exactly the attitudes I'm looking to get my daughter away from.That ghetto-talk has taken on an infestation where we live. My daughter has been a member of the HS band for 6 years now and has become a hater to the whole ghetto feel among her peer population.I was raised in an upper class town here on LI that sounds very much like what you described in VA.I raised my children to have discretion and as a teacher I see a decline in that attitude in our schools. Thanks for your feedback. Anyone else?...<br>