Are people really more unfriendly in Northern VA than other large US suburban areas? (middle-class, fit in)

[LLD]

I see these kinds of threads across various forums.

Some people have hit on a major issue -- large populated metro areas are different than small towns. Expecting either to be like the other is not realistic.

And I just have to say I bet the NY and NJ people get tired of being the examples of "rude" people across various forums. LOL

I've met plenty of nice people from NJ and NY.

I don't quite understand the comparison from suburban MD and NoVA unless it is just a "competitive regional" thing. I lived in suburban MD and my sister lives in Fairfax and my mom worked in Fairfax and have to say I didn't notice some huge and drastic difference between the areas. My future daughter-in-law lived in Alexandria also.

My experience the first time I came to the DC Metro area was that people were much more formal than what I was used to and also picky about their personal space (Americans are much pickier about this than say Europeans are). And by that I mean space on buses and in the grocery line etc. There is this sort of invisible barrier you aren't supposed to cross.

Having grown up in Texas I'm the stereotypical friendly talkative sort. In Texas it's nothing to start up a conversation with strangers on the bus or in grocery story lines etc... and when I would do that in the DC area boy would I get some looks. LOL.. But you know what? So what! I decided not to change my outgoing friendly manner and I've found that most people, no matter what part of the country, will respond positively. I've met a lot of really nice people all over the US and on the other hand I've met some rude ones too from all over.

[seldomseen]

It can't be all that bad in NoVa considering how it's one of the fastest growing metropolitan areas in the United States! lol

[Adrian71]

This is funny, because I just wrote about this in another post about NoVa.

I came out here from small-town Michigan, and the difference in how people acted really struck me. I remember the first time I got on the Metro to go into DC. Everybody was stone silent in the station, and the same way on the train. No eye contact, no interaction. Just lots of newspapers in front of faces, and people checking their BlackBerries. So I don't know that people are more unfriendly as much as they're just absorbed in their own little worlds. It's really weird. It's not as bad in Alexandria, where I live, but people are still generally a little cool even here. If you can warm up to them, you're OK. But that's not always easy to do.

Yeah, I know things are different in city vs. small town. But I've also spent a lot of time in Chicago, and people were more willing to interact with you and actually carry on conversations. It's very different in the DC area.

[Dingler]

It can't be all that bad in NoVa considering how it's one of the fastest growing metropolitan areas in the United States! lol
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Dear LOL:

Just because an area is growing does not mean that the people are nice and friendly, lol.

I am convinced that many of the people I come in contact with in Northern Va and the rest of the unfriendly Washington DC area are not bad people and might have been nice outgoing people where they were from, but they adopted to the culture of the area. The culture is type a, work, work, work, every man for himself. People are to stressed to neighbor or talk to people other than close friends or family.

I think the DC area is great if you are an:

Immigrant (50% of the population is foreign born or the children of first generation immigrants)

An Attorney or Political type

A scientist or IT type who can only work near the Capital to its unique economy.

Student at one of the areas great colleges.
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NVA and the rest of the DC area is no good if you are:

A middle class worker who could make a living with a higher standard of living in a less expensive less stressful town.

A retail or blue collar worker. Why would you work for minimum wage here when you could work and live in any town in American and pay far less for housing and general living.

[sarahbl]

I think it's correct that people aren't as friendly in NOVA. However, I think they're a product of their environment rather than it simply being their nature. I'm from CA and have lived out here for 5 years and have found myself becoming more and more like No. Virginians. I think this is because of a couple reasons - Washington Metro is seriously overcrowded and the roads are a disaster. It takes forever to get anywhere, including on Saturdays. A couple weekends ago I was going sailing down in Quantico from Ft. Belvoir and I was stuck in a traffic jam that delayed me two hours - that alone on a routine basis would make people unfriendly. And because of the bad traffic people often are rushed to get where they need to go and a lot of their free time is wasted on the road. I think this results in busy, no nonsense people.

Another thing is that type A personalities are attracted to the power and energy in Washington, so I believe this again results in no nonsense, busy people.

And customer service? Forget about it. Huge masses of people are competing for limited items - food, clothing, housing, jobs, schools. Because there is such a demand, good customer service isn't mandatory because people have no other choices. Add to that how transient NOVA/DC are, and businesses know that they won't have long term loyal customers anyway, so again, no need for great customer service.

I've met a lot of people who love DC and say they'll never leave, but I can't wait to get out. Millions of people competing for stuff that's just not that good...

[sarahbl]

Originally Posted by seldomseen

It can't be all that bad in NoVa considering how it's one of the fastest growing metropolitan areas in the United States! lol

It's about the jobs, not the community/people!

[saganista]

Originally Posted by Dingler

I think the DC area is great if you are an:
Immigrant (50% of the population is foreign born or the children of first generation immigrants)

Great definition. It includes the 70-year old child of a parent who immigrated to this country as a toddler more than a century ago. Add in a couple more generations, and you can probably claim 90%.

Originally Posted by Dingler

NVA and the rest of the DC area is no good if you are:
A retail or blue collar worker. Why would you work for minimum wage here when you could work and live in any town in American and pay far less for housing and general living.

What are you arguing, that DC is a high cost-of-living area? Wow! We all knew that already. But whether you earn the minimum wage or work as a $200-per-hour consultant has nothing to do with whether the area is "friendly" or not. From my own experience, I'd have to wonder what sort of activities you're involved in. If all you do is mope around the house all day, no wonder you feel isolated. Get out and do a thing or two. I've been here for almost forty years now, and one of the things that continues to impress me is how friendly and helpful and supportive people really are if you give them half a chance...

[saganista]

Originally Posted by sarahbl

And customer service? Forget about it. Huge masses of people are competing for limited items - food, clothing, housing, jobs, schools.

I don't know where you're shopping, but I do know that the Soviet Safeway closed some years ago. Because of the numbers of people and amounts of money here, those who offer goods for sale are anxious to carve out and maintain a niche in this market. Two of the ways they do that are by providing almost endless ranges and supplies of goods and services, and by providing the best customer service that they possibly can.

[MrAllGood]

Originally Posted by jmarkd

People in NOVA are rude only when behind the steering wheel, myself included.

BINGO!

I lived in Manassas for 3 years and commuted to Tyson's Corner...this statement sums it up! Individually folks are as nice as anywhere else but collectively on the road....GET OUT OF THE WAY!

[Yankeesfan]

I'm with Saganista -- get out, get involved, you'll find plenty of interesting people. Reading newspapers, Blackberries, or other "serious" stuff on the Metro is a way of saving time so that people have more time for their families and personal life when they get home.